Still Alive and Kicking

I'm alive. Barely...I excersice more today that I have in years combined. It felt so good to push myself so much. Part of it was a desire to try new things (running), part of it getting healthy, part of it enjoying the company, but a big part of it was my silly idea that I can do anything (I'll blame it on my parents for believing so much in me). I have this problem that I am Super Woman and I can do anything and everything and I have to be perfect at everything. And I was not perfect...But I dont think with excercise you can ever be, you just keep pushing yourself and that's good, right? I think I'm becoming wiser w the years...I think I enjoy getting better. I do still find it hard when I'm not perfect but I've taken a few hits and failures and I'm learning to be more content with life, more satisfied with just doing my best everyday.
The one thing I really enjoy about not having kids, I must admit, is that I super cleaned on Monday when I got back from work and I havent done much and it's still super clean. it's nice to come home to a spotless house and it's nice to pick up only after yourself...To be honest, I dont notice it, I just put things in their places as I go. Why do men and children have such a problem w picking up after themselves, it's not so hard! Oh! I know! It's because we get them used to not picking up...We'll do it...When will we learn...
On the third afternoon is when I really miss the girls...I dont have Olivia to help me do laundry or tell me "Hi mommy" "I love you mommy" or Kyrsten with her more and more interesting conversations or with her "Mommy I sick" or "Mommy, I really tired" whenever I ask her to pick up.
I was just talking to a friend yesterday about people that don't have kids and how hard would that be for us...I laugh a lot but my kids make me laugh the hardest, and smile the biggest. I'm sure they'll make me cry the deepest and get the angriest but they truly make me. [I was looking for a word that would describe what my kids make me but, they just do]. I have to admit some things would be a lot easier without kids but not as meaningful and fun...I'll probably be singing a different tune tomorrow when they drive me crazy...
Ok, time to go nite nite.
Sleep tight!