Yesterday, I was talking to my (not so) little sister and I started quoting a commercial and she finished it...This commercial was from 10 years ago when we lived in Bolivia...It just made me think...
My other little sister always sends me music from the music my parents used to play when we were little in the weekends...
In either case a "remember when..." was needed...we are sisters...we all know the places we've been....for 18 years together...
My sisters and I are 18 months apart...I'm the eldest...Whenever I thought how having 2 girls so close in age would be, I always thought "My mom had a 3 year old, an 18 month old and a newborn, all at the same time"...and she survived...mostly mentally unharmed...
Because we were so close in age, we were all raised...what's the word...with the same rules at the same time....
There will never be a friend, a cousin or anyone who will have walked that 18 year road with me (and I have done so with them too)...all the tacit thoughts behind some comments we make...
My sisters are amazing...We couldn't be more different, we couldn't have chosen more different careers (lawyer, doctor, international management)...
We have tons in common and lots that makes us so different one to another...and yet..."we know"...we know our parents (and other family), we know the places we've lived (quite a few movings), the friends we've had, the things we've accomplished, things we've gone thru...All with our own subjective opinions but nonetheless...we know...
We would do anything for each other...
To be honest, I don't know if we would have been "friends" if God hadn't sent us all to the same family...but we are now....
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Cultural Differences and Languages
My two favorite subjects to talk about are probably cultural differences and languages. I lived in Argentina most of my life, two years in Bolivia and now have been in the United Sates for five years. After having the privilege of experiencing a few cultures, I have started finding myself more and more seeking cultural differences in conversations with people that have had the same opportunity as I have, that can tell me about their experiences. It's so fascinating to me.
Languages is another big passion of mine...I speak fluent Spanish and English, and use to be pretty fluent in Italian. I also know a tiny bit of French and hope to become fluent in it some day. Altogether, I hope to be fluent in 6 languages, including one with a different alphabet, at some point in my life. I love learning about languages and even language differences. I grew up with British English, which got distorted along the way. I really ejoy talking to my Vice President at the hospital, who is from England. I love talking to her about phrases and words that are different (Like "it's not my cup of tea"...which I have used several times here and have gotten blank stares in return)...
I realized in our division lunch, which she attended, of one thing.: I know I get too involved in this kind of discussions and monopolize conversations, which makes it very boring for people around who are not a bit interested in any of this...I need to be more aware of it...
Anyways, just those little thoughts...
Have a great weekend...
Cata.
Languages is another big passion of mine...I speak fluent Spanish and English, and use to be pretty fluent in Italian. I also know a tiny bit of French and hope to become fluent in it some day. Altogether, I hope to be fluent in 6 languages, including one with a different alphabet, at some point in my life. I love learning about languages and even language differences. I grew up with British English, which got distorted along the way. I really ejoy talking to my Vice President at the hospital, who is from England. I love talking to her about phrases and words that are different (Like "it's not my cup of tea"...which I have used several times here and have gotten blank stares in return)...
I realized in our division lunch, which she attended, of one thing.: I know I get too involved in this kind of discussions and monopolize conversations, which makes it very boring for people around who are not a bit interested in any of this...I need to be more aware of it...
Anyways, just those little thoughts...
Have a great weekend...
Cata.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
"The opium of the masses"
I think Marx said that about religion (Karl, not Groucho). Sounds like something he'd say anyways.
As 92% of Argentinians, I am Catholic. However, I have found the Salida Catholic church (and probably the faith in general in the States), very Orthodox.
In Argentina, there are so many people going to church (not 92% of course) that I believe some things have molded to accommodate all the attendees.
In a town I lived long time ago, it was even the "cool" thing and hot spot for teenagers to be on Sunday evening...Better church than getting in trouble, right?
So, after a clash between wanting to go to church and wanting my girls to go to church, I decided I needed to find a kid-friendly church. I believe all Christian churches carry similar values so I asked around about Christian churches with good kids programs and got recommended to one by two coworkers.
The idea was to go "church shopping" but the girls (and I) liked it so much on the first day that we just kept going for a month and a half now. People were super welcoming and friendly and the Pastor's passion for his lectures were inspiring.
A few people had told me about the perception they got that women were supposed to be submissive to men and, only in the short period of time I've been there, I've already heard it preached twice.
I am always going to be Catholic and raise my girls that way but finding a good kids program is important and the local Catholic church doesn't offer one (nor is kid friendly at all). I just don't want them to be taught that because I honestly believe men and women are 100% equal specially in the eyes of God.
I know that parts of the Scriptures need to be contextualized and I think this is one of them.
I don't know if I'll go back or not...I do know I need to try other ones. Regardless, I think I need to go back to my original plan of "church shopping"...it doesn't cost anything after all...
I know it's not very good writing skills but [insert excuses here].
Sorry I've been missing for so long...I write so much for school and spend so much time in the computer for it that blogging only comes to mind while I am not home.
See you!
Cata.
As 92% of Argentinians, I am Catholic. However, I have found the Salida Catholic church (and probably the faith in general in the States), very Orthodox.
In Argentina, there are so many people going to church (not 92% of course) that I believe some things have molded to accommodate all the attendees.
In a town I lived long time ago, it was even the "cool" thing and hot spot for teenagers to be on Sunday evening...Better church than getting in trouble, right?
So, after a clash between wanting to go to church and wanting my girls to go to church, I decided I needed to find a kid-friendly church. I believe all Christian churches carry similar values so I asked around about Christian churches with good kids programs and got recommended to one by two coworkers.
The idea was to go "church shopping" but the girls (and I) liked it so much on the first day that we just kept going for a month and a half now. People were super welcoming and friendly and the Pastor's passion for his lectures were inspiring.
A few people had told me about the perception they got that women were supposed to be submissive to men and, only in the short period of time I've been there, I've already heard it preached twice.
I am always going to be Catholic and raise my girls that way but finding a good kids program is important and the local Catholic church doesn't offer one (nor is kid friendly at all). I just don't want them to be taught that because I honestly believe men and women are 100% equal specially in the eyes of God.
I know that parts of the Scriptures need to be contextualized and I think this is one of them.
I don't know if I'll go back or not...I do know I need to try other ones. Regardless, I think I need to go back to my original plan of "church shopping"...it doesn't cost anything after all...
I know it's not very good writing skills but [insert excuses here].
Sorry I've been missing for so long...I write so much for school and spend so much time in the computer for it that blogging only comes to mind while I am not home.
See you!
Cata.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Crazy or Complex...
I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and I have no idea what I was passionately going on about but he said "I don't know if you are crazy or complex"...(Are we seeing a theme through my male friends???)....this is a person who knows me and likes me a lot and thinks I'm complicated...
I said "Both!"...Em automatically said "She just thinks too much, that's her problem"...
I'd like to think I'm wonderfully complex and that I'll just keep being that way forever...I don't think I'll ever figure myself out and that's ok. I'll keep changing and evolving, hopefully becoming better every day.
Anyways... I thought about this and even though I am a dialetic thinker (a person that keeps thinking while they talk) maybe I should not talk so much...(and so intimidatingly passionatedly)...Smart people talk little, substantially and leave you thinking...I need to work on that...
PS: I love seeing people that have known me for a few years and they see me now and they comment on how happy I look...And I stop and think how happy I am...Life is pretty woderful...Lucky for my crazy and complex self.
I said "Both!"...Em automatically said "She just thinks too much, that's her problem"...
I'd like to think I'm wonderfully complex and that I'll just keep being that way forever...I don't think I'll ever figure myself out and that's ok. I'll keep changing and evolving, hopefully becoming better every day.
Anyways... I thought about this and even though I am a dialetic thinker (a person that keeps thinking while they talk) maybe I should not talk so much...(and so intimidatingly passionatedly)...Smart people talk little, substantially and leave you thinking...I need to work on that...
PS: I love seeing people that have known me for a few years and they see me now and they comment on how happy I look...And I stop and think how happy I am...Life is pretty woderful...Lucky for my crazy and complex self.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Homesick...
I hate this ability women have of "putting everything in the same bag" and finding a way of making it "align" somehow...
Today, I'm feeling homesick. The fact that the girls are not home gives me even more time to think about anything...
Last Friday, I succeeded my expectations in a test and of course told my family because everybody knows when me or my cousins have any test...So, I'm sure everyone was waiting to hear. My sister told me she called my grandma and she got emotional on the phone and told her she always prayed for me and she was so happy I was doing all this...I skyped with her later and she told me how smart I was and all these things (I don't know why my family thinks I'm so smart...I think they have selective memory)....
This weekend, my friends had a friend over and also talked about having frieds over. My frieds can't come over that often.
I also talked to one of my dearest friends in Argentina yesterday...
All these "aligned" and I'm a little home sick now...
Friends and Family are such an important piece of the life puzzle.
It's hard to see all the things my friends go through and I'm not there with them. On the bright side, my relationship with my family is great...We talk everyday but short doses :). It's still hard not to be physically "there".
I have great Friends here and I have 100% made Salida my home from the beginning. I think moving so much has made me highly adaptable and positive about the resources available. And Salida is gorgeous...Colorado is one of the most beautiful places I've been, and I'm extremely lucky to live here. I wake up to mountains everyday.
And being away from my family and friends is all part of growing up, finding our paths, our place in the world, following our dreams...Life brings us closer and further sometimes...
Today, I'm a little homesick.
Homesick is not a feeling I ever have. Specially now that I am a happy divorced woman. I definitely know I have not been homesick in this last year and a half...
This whole aligning thing is one more thing that is wrong with us, the pretty sex.
OK, I better get back to cleaning and homework if I want to be a successful international lawyer 100 years from now, and go visit my family on long weekends :P
Have a great starred night.
Today, I'm feeling homesick. The fact that the girls are not home gives me even more time to think about anything...
Last Friday, I succeeded my expectations in a test and of course told my family because everybody knows when me or my cousins have any test...So, I'm sure everyone was waiting to hear. My sister told me she called my grandma and she got emotional on the phone and told her she always prayed for me and she was so happy I was doing all this...I skyped with her later and she told me how smart I was and all these things (I don't know why my family thinks I'm so smart...I think they have selective memory)....
This weekend, my friends had a friend over and also talked about having frieds over. My frieds can't come over that often.
I also talked to one of my dearest friends in Argentina yesterday...
All these "aligned" and I'm a little home sick now...
Friends and Family are such an important piece of the life puzzle.
It's hard to see all the things my friends go through and I'm not there with them. On the bright side, my relationship with my family is great...We talk everyday but short doses :). It's still hard not to be physically "there".
I have great Friends here and I have 100% made Salida my home from the beginning. I think moving so much has made me highly adaptable and positive about the resources available. And Salida is gorgeous...Colorado is one of the most beautiful places I've been, and I'm extremely lucky to live here. I wake up to mountains everyday.
And being away from my family and friends is all part of growing up, finding our paths, our place in the world, following our dreams...Life brings us closer and further sometimes...
Today, I'm a little homesick.
Homesick is not a feeling I ever have. Specially now that I am a happy divorced woman. I definitely know I have not been homesick in this last year and a half...
This whole aligning thing is one more thing that is wrong with us, the pretty sex.
OK, I better get back to cleaning and homework if I want to be a successful international lawyer 100 years from now, and go visit my family on long weekends :P
Have a great starred night.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
The Great Wall of Catalina
My name is Catalina and I have a problem. It was brought to my attention this week that I have a very negative image of men and dating.
After I gave a long bitter speech at my friends' house about how we should ask the questions that really matter to us in the first dates...If it's important how much someone makes or in what side of the bed they sleep, or whatever you might consider important, I think it should be talked about in the beginning. So you know if they are any deal breakers that you need to be aware of (at least). Not when you are head over heels and moved in with someone, when you make it not matter...Anyways, my friend Clint looks at me with a "what is wrong with you look" he sometimes has and tells me he doesn't understand how can I be so mad at men and dating....it's not like I've done many of those (he didn't say that part).
It got me thinking that it's true and I wasn't very sure why. I'm sure part of it might be fear of rejection.
I don't think I am scared of falling in love per se, I don't even think I am scared of getting my heart broken.
I believe the biggest part is I am very scared of myself in love, I do not have a history of making good decisions while in love (aka dropping out of Law school and moving to the North Hemisphere, last time I was in love of a guy I barely knew)...And I have too many plans and kids. I could be screwing up a lot.
I didn't think I had walls because I am very emotionally open and very honest. I've realized how cynical I am this days. Cynicism can be a wall too. A pretty thick one. Even if it makes people laugh. I need to work on that.
I hope some day I can figure myself out a bit more...not fair to ask people to see through that and hang on enough to calm down and be normal...If it's even possible.
Have a great weekend!
After I gave a long bitter speech at my friends' house about how we should ask the questions that really matter to us in the first dates...If it's important how much someone makes or in what side of the bed they sleep, or whatever you might consider important, I think it should be talked about in the beginning. So you know if they are any deal breakers that you need to be aware of (at least). Not when you are head over heels and moved in with someone, when you make it not matter...Anyways, my friend Clint looks at me with a "what is wrong with you look" he sometimes has and tells me he doesn't understand how can I be so mad at men and dating....it's not like I've done many of those (he didn't say that part).
It got me thinking that it's true and I wasn't very sure why. I'm sure part of it might be fear of rejection.
I don't think I am scared of falling in love per se, I don't even think I am scared of getting my heart broken.
I believe the biggest part is I am very scared of myself in love, I do not have a history of making good decisions while in love (aka dropping out of Law school and moving to the North Hemisphere, last time I was in love of a guy I barely knew)...And I have too many plans and kids. I could be screwing up a lot.
I didn't think I had walls because I am very emotionally open and very honest. I've realized how cynical I am this days. Cynicism can be a wall too. A pretty thick one. Even if it makes people laugh. I need to work on that.
I hope some day I can figure myself out a bit more...not fair to ask people to see through that and hang on enough to calm down and be normal...If it's even possible.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Are we there yet???
All my life I've concentrated on the future...I'm a planner.... I don't remember a time in my life (other than being married which was a disaster) when I didn't have a 10 year plan...
I think I was about 9 or 10 when I picked Law School and a masters in International Affairs...I picked schools a few years later...I'm that crazy...
When I was a child, I don't remember playing or getting dirty much...I was too anxious to grow up.
I'm very thankful my children have taught me how to play and my divorce have showed me to be so happy now.
I also find perfection in so many moments in my day...I don't recognize myself sometimes...This is not the little girl who was so worried about the future that couldn't live the present...
Don't get me wrong, I have a plan. I think I just need one...I need to know where I'm going, and that I'll be doing great things with my life...But I am learning to enjoy the ride...
I have recently realized (everyone else already knew this) that I have a hard time relaxing for a "normal" period of time...I started a bath for the first time since I moved here (4 years ago), and opened my bath salts which didn't smell any more...That's when I realize that I had a problem...I layed in the hot water reading my English Composition book (I know...I can't help myself from being productive at all times), and eventually I got out. When I looked at the clock, it had only been 20 min...I was disappointed at myself for not being able to relax.
Having 7 years of school ahead it's a little overwhelming and stressful at times...I love being in school. I am an absolutely nerd...I love knowledge...I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to little silly details (ask my friends about all the useless information I provide daily)...
I get anxious about being in Law School and getting the kind of debate I crave so much but it's going to be a while until then...I need to "take a chill pill" and calm down...There are so many great things that happen everyday and will happen between now and then....
I have to stop listening to my "old me" asking..."ARE WE THERE YET?"
I think I was about 9 or 10 when I picked Law School and a masters in International Affairs...I picked schools a few years later...I'm that crazy...
When I was a child, I don't remember playing or getting dirty much...I was too anxious to grow up.
I'm very thankful my children have taught me how to play and my divorce have showed me to be so happy now.
I also find perfection in so many moments in my day...I don't recognize myself sometimes...This is not the little girl who was so worried about the future that couldn't live the present...
Don't get me wrong, I have a plan. I think I just need one...I need to know where I'm going, and that I'll be doing great things with my life...But I am learning to enjoy the ride...
I have recently realized (everyone else already knew this) that I have a hard time relaxing for a "normal" period of time...I started a bath for the first time since I moved here (4 years ago), and opened my bath salts which didn't smell any more...That's when I realize that I had a problem...I layed in the hot water reading my English Composition book (I know...I can't help myself from being productive at all times), and eventually I got out. When I looked at the clock, it had only been 20 min...I was disappointed at myself for not being able to relax.
Having 7 years of school ahead it's a little overwhelming and stressful at times...I love being in school. I am an absolutely nerd...I love knowledge...I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to little silly details (ask my friends about all the useless information I provide daily)...
I get anxious about being in Law School and getting the kind of debate I crave so much but it's going to be a while until then...I need to "take a chill pill" and calm down...There are so many great things that happen everyday and will happen between now and then....
I have to stop listening to my "old me" asking..."ARE WE THERE YET?"
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Next 7 years, here we go...
Apparently I have an ulcer. I don't really have time for it right now.
I was bended all day because it hurt and it got terribly painful in the afternoon. I'm not used to being in pain or taking pills or anything so I was just ignoring it all day...
I went to the doctor and I was the most boring patient he had seen. No pills, no smoking, no alcohol, healthy as a horse.
Ectopic pregnancy was immediately ruled out (for obvious reason...unless the Holly Spirit visited me), Apedix is already gone....I explained my symptoms, he touched my belly and "bet his money" it was a duodenal ulcer (good thing he didn't say he bet my money, cause then it would not have been a strong diagnostic)...
My overproductive self also decided to get a Gardisil shot (for HPV and cervical cancer prevention)...Althought I'm starting to think that by the time I have sex the muscles will be atrophied due to lack of use...Being so so so busy does not allow as much time to think about sex (now it's only 90% of the time).
I think I am really good with stress...I definitely think I get a lot accomplished and my house is a lot cleaner all the time...I also sleep about 7 hours a night (10 to 5, I hate it)...But i haven't been eating well and I'm always "running"...
I'm a happier person because I'm "doing", and not just letting life drive by...I'm happy to be in school and my brain definitively yearns the knowledge...
Everybody has been incredibly supportive and encouraging. One person offered to watch the girls for a few hours if I ever needed. I just can't miss the next 7 years of their lives because "I'm working in our future". I'm just trying to do everything the days they are gone and when they are in bed...
I really wish I could be working part time, I definitely know everything is too much...but I can't do it any other way....I'm an overachiver anyways...
I better get used to it because this are the next 7 years of my life...at least.
I actually hope the garage can be fixed up as a studio appartment before I move to denver for law school and that between that and renting the house I can either not work or work part time (or maybe even at college)...Let's hope we all survive unharmed and succesfully.
OK, time to see if I can get more homework done.
I thought I'd let you know about my very interesting life...
Have an awesome weekend!!!
Cata.
I was bended all day because it hurt and it got terribly painful in the afternoon. I'm not used to being in pain or taking pills or anything so I was just ignoring it all day...
I went to the doctor and I was the most boring patient he had seen. No pills, no smoking, no alcohol, healthy as a horse.
Ectopic pregnancy was immediately ruled out (for obvious reason...unless the Holly Spirit visited me), Apedix is already gone....I explained my symptoms, he touched my belly and "bet his money" it was a duodenal ulcer (good thing he didn't say he bet my money, cause then it would not have been a strong diagnostic)...
My overproductive self also decided to get a Gardisil shot (for HPV and cervical cancer prevention)...Althought I'm starting to think that by the time I have sex the muscles will be atrophied due to lack of use...Being so so so busy does not allow as much time to think about sex (now it's only 90% of the time).
I think I am really good with stress...I definitely think I get a lot accomplished and my house is a lot cleaner all the time...I also sleep about 7 hours a night (10 to 5, I hate it)...But i haven't been eating well and I'm always "running"...
I'm a happier person because I'm "doing", and not just letting life drive by...I'm happy to be in school and my brain definitively yearns the knowledge...
Everybody has been incredibly supportive and encouraging. One person offered to watch the girls for a few hours if I ever needed. I just can't miss the next 7 years of their lives because "I'm working in our future". I'm just trying to do everything the days they are gone and when they are in bed...
I really wish I could be working part time, I definitely know everything is too much...but I can't do it any other way....I'm an overachiver anyways...
I better get used to it because this are the next 7 years of my life...at least.
I actually hope the garage can be fixed up as a studio appartment before I move to denver for law school and that between that and renting the house I can either not work or work part time (or maybe even at college)...Let's hope we all survive unharmed and succesfully.
OK, time to see if I can get more homework done.
I thought I'd let you know about my very interesting life...
Have an awesome weekend!!!
Cata.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
On the Moon, being happy, weird and neuron connections
Hi Friends!!!
I'm tired but I want to write...
I am happy. Period. I am weird, and it's good to be single when you are weird. Nobody gives me "looks" or is silently (or not so silently) embarrassed of my actions and opinions. I am really awesome and should express myself.
I love dancing around the house all the time and singing a lot (at home and in the car)...
I am so happy all the time...I never imagined I could be this happy...I am a very positive person and I think that really plays a big part. However, I think the biggest part is that I was so unhappy for a while that now I can't help how happy I am. And I wouldn't want to stop it.
Here's a weird thing I do that I have never told anyone: Every night before bed, I look through my window to see the moon. I'm obsessed with the moon...I don't know why...and the Moon in Colorado seems to be bigger for some reason...I just love staring at it...I could do it for hours...Deeper thoughts come at night for me. It might be because you have all night to keep thinking, because the world gets quieter, quiet enough that you can hear your thoughts.
I want to keep writing but I am pretty tired. I hope the lack of sleep will still allow me to keep having some interesting big thoughts every now and then...I love it when the miracle of my neurons doing synapses happens...and I love the light going on...new connections, revolutionary thoughts, and the opportunity to share them with people we respect enough to be receptive to them...and hopefully rebottle in some way that makes us think even deeper...
That's all folks!
Buenas Noches!
Cata.
I'm tired but I want to write...
I am happy. Period. I am weird, and it's good to be single when you are weird. Nobody gives me "looks" or is silently (or not so silently) embarrassed of my actions and opinions. I am really awesome and should express myself.
I love dancing around the house all the time and singing a lot (at home and in the car)...
I am so happy all the time...I never imagined I could be this happy...I am a very positive person and I think that really plays a big part. However, I think the biggest part is that I was so unhappy for a while that now I can't help how happy I am. And I wouldn't want to stop it.
Here's a weird thing I do that I have never told anyone: Every night before bed, I look through my window to see the moon. I'm obsessed with the moon...I don't know why...and the Moon in Colorado seems to be bigger for some reason...I just love staring at it...I could do it for hours...Deeper thoughts come at night for me. It might be because you have all night to keep thinking, because the world gets quieter, quiet enough that you can hear your thoughts.
I want to keep writing but I am pretty tired. I hope the lack of sleep will still allow me to keep having some interesting big thoughts every now and then...I love it when the miracle of my neurons doing synapses happens...and I love the light going on...new connections, revolutionary thoughts, and the opportunity to share them with people we respect enough to be receptive to them...and hopefully rebottle in some way that makes us think even deeper...
That's all folks!
Buenas Noches!
Cata.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Married again :)
I have been gone forever...I've had company...my bff from Argentina, and now my mom is here...
But today it's raining (my favorite thing ever) and my marriage had begun...so I'm extremely happy.
"And now I pronounce you Cata and School"...
School and I started our flirting stage in kindergarden, I was always so very happy to go to school. I had a happy time at home but I absolutely loved it. I used to memorize books and "read" them to my stuffed animals.
By the time I started 1st grade , I was a full blown nerd. Nerd is a good term in Argentina, you can be cool AND nerdy. There wasn't "classification" that early in my school...and I wasn't that "cool" later because I had glasses (since I was 2), plus, my sister was considered prettier and cooler than me (never affected my self steem, if you know me).
Straight A was an everyday thing...
By the time we got engaged in high school, school and I, I already knew I wanted to take our relationship all the way.
I probably realized my call when I was 9 or 10 years old, but by high school I already had schools and masters picked out. I WAS GOING TO BE AN AMBASSADOR.
Law School and then a Masters in International Affairs...
So there I went, 2 years of Law School...when I had my affair...Michael...
Yes, My other marriage got in the way...
I moved to the States w the idea of starting again (cause everything is so doable when you are in "love")...
A little here and there I continued out relationship...Eventually my real marriage (or should I say my husband) got in the way and School and I broke up for 2 years...
A month ago I decided no more, I realized my true love, the one that had always been there, never let me down, always full filled me, my true soul mate...So within a week, I had filled out so many applications and emails, I had my scholarships and subjects picked out...
I started last weekend (even though nothing was on the website yet), to make up for lost time...
Today is the first day of our Marriage, today is the official start of the semester and therefore, the start of our marriage...
This time I'll get it right...I know...It's meant to be...
There will be times of hate and love...No sleep, no food, no sex (but what else is new). I'll dedicate all my time to it...All the time I don't have the girls and all the time they are asleep...
Next 10 years of my life, at least...and then I'm thinking I'll keep our flame going by studying languages, I'd like to be fluent in 6 languages, I already have 3 (English, Spanish, Italian...little rusty)...French...just the basics...
So, there's the most promising and fruitful relationship I'm cultivating :)
Wish us love and happiness...
But today it's raining (my favorite thing ever) and my marriage had begun...so I'm extremely happy.
"And now I pronounce you Cata and School"...
School and I started our flirting stage in kindergarden, I was always so very happy to go to school. I had a happy time at home but I absolutely loved it. I used to memorize books and "read" them to my stuffed animals.
By the time I started 1st grade , I was a full blown nerd. Nerd is a good term in Argentina, you can be cool AND nerdy. There wasn't "classification" that early in my school...and I wasn't that "cool" later because I had glasses (since I was 2), plus, my sister was considered prettier and cooler than me (never affected my self steem, if you know me).
Straight A was an everyday thing...
By the time we got engaged in high school, school and I, I already knew I wanted to take our relationship all the way.
I probably realized my call when I was 9 or 10 years old, but by high school I already had schools and masters picked out. I WAS GOING TO BE AN AMBASSADOR.
Law School and then a Masters in International Affairs...
So there I went, 2 years of Law School...when I had my affair...Michael...
Yes, My other marriage got in the way...
I moved to the States w the idea of starting again (cause everything is so doable when you are in "love")...
A little here and there I continued out relationship...Eventually my real marriage (or should I say my husband) got in the way and School and I broke up for 2 years...
A month ago I decided no more, I realized my true love, the one that had always been there, never let me down, always full filled me, my true soul mate...So within a week, I had filled out so many applications and emails, I had my scholarships and subjects picked out...
I started last weekend (even though nothing was on the website yet), to make up for lost time...
Today is the first day of our Marriage, today is the official start of the semester and therefore, the start of our marriage...
This time I'll get it right...I know...It's meant to be...
There will be times of hate and love...No sleep, no food, no sex (but what else is new). I'll dedicate all my time to it...All the time I don't have the girls and all the time they are asleep...
Next 10 years of my life, at least...and then I'm thinking I'll keep our flame going by studying languages, I'd like to be fluent in 6 languages, I already have 3 (English, Spanish, Italian...little rusty)...French...just the basics...
So, there's the most promising and fruitful relationship I'm cultivating :)
Wish us love and happiness...
Sunday, August 7, 2011
American choices...
I hate the United States of America some days...There's like a gazillion choices every step you make....For example, traditional American breakfast: how do you want your eggs??? Potatoes??? Toast or Pancakes??? What meat??? Isn't that why there's a meal in the menu, things put together and you choose it???
It's really hard for someone like me that honestly doesn't care...I'm fine w pretty much anything, until I get the check...So, choose whatever you think waitress...And I can't say that because urban legend is that if I don't care they'll spit on my food...So maybe that's why I haven't gone out to eat in a hundred years...and maybe it's a budget issue too......
Even if you go to fast food..."fries or onion rigs" "salad or bread sticks"...It's irritation to people that couldn't care less...
For such unhappy people, there are way too many choices...I think if people had less options, they'd be happier...But that's just me
I didn't go to breakfast this morning...I made burnt and raw pancakes (I took pieces of each one for us to eat)...I was just trying to make reservations to my trip to Las Vegas...coming up (or not) in 2 weeks and felt very overwhelmed by options...
It's been a very eventful week (divorce, divorce party, friend moving close, drywalled and painted my room)....but I'm tired, so I'll tell you in my next post :)
Have an awesome week!!!
It's really hard for someone like me that honestly doesn't care...I'm fine w pretty much anything, until I get the check...So, choose whatever you think waitress...And I can't say that because urban legend is that if I don't care they'll spit on my food...So maybe that's why I haven't gone out to eat in a hundred years...and maybe it's a budget issue too......
Even if you go to fast food..."fries or onion rigs" "salad or bread sticks"...It's irritation to people that couldn't care less...
For such unhappy people, there are way too many choices...I think if people had less options, they'd be happier...But that's just me
I didn't go to breakfast this morning...I made burnt and raw pancakes (I took pieces of each one for us to eat)...I was just trying to make reservations to my trip to Las Vegas...coming up (or not) in 2 weeks and felt very overwhelmed by options...
It's been a very eventful week (divorce, divorce party, friend moving close, drywalled and painted my room)....but I'm tired, so I'll tell you in my next post :)
Have an awesome week!!!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Crisis
A divorce it's not a crisis...My little baby turning 2 is...I've been in the verge of tears all day today...Crying to me it's a strenght...It shows you are not scared of being vulnerable, that you are confident enough to express your feelings...But I was at work, so I couldn't cry...
Last night, I made sure Olivia didn't drink anything before bed and I put new panties on her. I also put the potty next to her bed and explained to her she had to pee there if she woke up and wanted to pee.
She woke up dry and happy, asking for her sister (who had crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and I don't notice or I'm too tired and I keep sleeping)...And that's when it hit me...
Even though I've been potty training her for a few months...it kindda all hit together...Lack of sleep, my period (aka monthly reminder I haven't had sex for yet another month), and her 2nd birthday in 2 days...
By the time I got to work, I had to immediately go downstairs and see my friend Em for moral support....She advised me to have another baby, which is probably one of the worst advice I've ever gotten...I reminded her of the state of my wild sex life...
It's hard to see my baby...Maybe my last one...reaching her 2nd bday... Breastfeeding, co sleeping (that didn't last long anyways), carrying her around, feeding, diapers...She doesn't "need me"...
It's a little emotional (in the good way) when they reach those milestones...It's a little hard...letting go, letting them be more and more independent...But it would be harder if they couldn't reach those milestones...
My job as a parent is to make sure my kids are ready to "take care of themselves" by the time the leave home...That's huge!!!
As hard as I may try, I can't prepare them fully for the world ahead but I'm here to advice and be their company...
Throughout their childhood and teenage years they'll reach a lot of milestones...But the first 2 years are so condensed that the 2nd birthday marks the end of "baby" and beginning of toddler...
My wonderful, beautiful, loving, energetic Olivia...My little butterfly...I know there's just greatness in store for her...and I can't wait to see her grow up...With the constant challenges she'll offer...
OK, time to go to bed w Sean (my air conditioner)...
Good Night!!!
Last night, I made sure Olivia didn't drink anything before bed and I put new panties on her. I also put the potty next to her bed and explained to her she had to pee there if she woke up and wanted to pee.
She woke up dry and happy, asking for her sister (who had crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and I don't notice or I'm too tired and I keep sleeping)...And that's when it hit me...
Even though I've been potty training her for a few months...it kindda all hit together...Lack of sleep, my period (aka monthly reminder I haven't had sex for yet another month), and her 2nd birthday in 2 days...
By the time I got to work, I had to immediately go downstairs and see my friend Em for moral support....She advised me to have another baby, which is probably one of the worst advice I've ever gotten...I reminded her of the state of my wild sex life...
It's hard to see my baby...Maybe my last one...reaching her 2nd bday... Breastfeeding, co sleeping (that didn't last long anyways), carrying her around, feeding, diapers...She doesn't "need me"...
It's a little emotional (in the good way) when they reach those milestones...It's a little hard...letting go, letting them be more and more independent...But it would be harder if they couldn't reach those milestones...
My job as a parent is to make sure my kids are ready to "take care of themselves" by the time the leave home...That's huge!!!
As hard as I may try, I can't prepare them fully for the world ahead but I'm here to advice and be their company...
Throughout their childhood and teenage years they'll reach a lot of milestones...But the first 2 years are so condensed that the 2nd birthday marks the end of "baby" and beginning of toddler...
My wonderful, beautiful, loving, energetic Olivia...My little butterfly...I know there's just greatness in store for her...and I can't wait to see her grow up...With the constant challenges she'll offer...
OK, time to go to bed w Sean (my air conditioner)...
Good Night!!!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Asbestos and dust....Debt, and the misterious future
Great! That's how life is for me right now...great!
I tore up a wall last night w a hammer I could barely lift...that's my stubbornness for you....My lungs are full of asbestos...
Today, my house is full of dust....and I'm still not done....Tomorrow, I still need to mud...I don't know when I'm going to clean and grocery shop....There's absolutely no food in my house...
My brother in law (or ex brother in law) came to help me today, to teach me how to drywall. So, while he finished I got us dinner...
Michael used to be so jealous for no reason (just because he's a control freak) about him...But now, he's really helped me with some stuff...and it's great...it was a great dinner...It's so relieving to have dinner w a guy you have no attraction to, you know they are not attracted to you, and you know nothing is going to happen...it takes so much pressure off...
We usually talk about relationships and sex (or lack there of), cultural differences....and life in general...It's great, simple...It's nice to have a guy friend, a guy's perspective, just a different unfiltered one...And a handy friend :)
One of the things that came up was that, I'm probably going to live here forever (unless I end up travelling abroad for my international career, but the US will probably be "base"). I know I'll eventually get married again, and chances are that it will be to an American...
Americans grow, live and breath on debt...and I will be debt free, in 6 years...I'm going to school on grants, as they might become available...
I'm not looking (or running away either) for a serious relationship.
When relationships first start, and for a while, finances are a separate but eventually, the more your relationship progresses, the more your put lives together.
Finances are such a big part of relationships, whether we like it or not. So I just wonder, will I ever find someone I can build a future with (in every sense)???
I know I don't need to think that far ahead, specially now that I am not interested in a relationship...I just over think...
Oh well, time for bed people...
Have an amazing, stress free sleep...
I tore up a wall last night w a hammer I could barely lift...that's my stubbornness for you....My lungs are full of asbestos...
Today, my house is full of dust....and I'm still not done....Tomorrow, I still need to mud...I don't know when I'm going to clean and grocery shop....There's absolutely no food in my house...
My brother in law (or ex brother in law) came to help me today, to teach me how to drywall. So, while he finished I got us dinner...
Michael used to be so jealous for no reason (just because he's a control freak) about him...But now, he's really helped me with some stuff...and it's great...it was a great dinner...It's so relieving to have dinner w a guy you have no attraction to, you know they are not attracted to you, and you know nothing is going to happen...it takes so much pressure off...
We usually talk about relationships and sex (or lack there of), cultural differences....and life in general...It's great, simple...It's nice to have a guy friend, a guy's perspective, just a different unfiltered one...And a handy friend :)
One of the things that came up was that, I'm probably going to live here forever (unless I end up travelling abroad for my international career, but the US will probably be "base"). I know I'll eventually get married again, and chances are that it will be to an American...
Americans grow, live and breath on debt...and I will be debt free, in 6 years...I'm going to school on grants, as they might become available...
I'm not looking (or running away either) for a serious relationship.
When relationships first start, and for a while, finances are a separate but eventually, the more your relationship progresses, the more your put lives together.
Finances are such a big part of relationships, whether we like it or not. So I just wonder, will I ever find someone I can build a future with (in every sense)???
I know I don't need to think that far ahead, specially now that I am not interested in a relationship...I just over think...
Oh well, time for bed people...
Have an amazing, stress free sleep...
Monday, July 25, 2011
The room where all the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover
I have eaten 4 (good kind, caramel, chocolate, etc) ice creams in the last 60 hours...I think I have a problem...I really need to slow the chocolate eating down...My skin hasn't had this much little pimples in a long time...
Today, I did demo of my bedroom wall w a hammer I could even lift...that's how strong my determination makes me...Good thing I was doing one of the small walls, and the one that has the door (equaling less surface)...There's a lot of dust : /
Tomorrow, I'm drywalling it and maybe I'll paint my room finally this week...The last room in the house to get painted into 2 tones of brown...The room where the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover...
I also want to see if I'll have enough money w my grants left over to fix up my garage as a studio apartment to rent it out...That would be so awesome!!!! Cross your fingers for me that everything works out...I'm scared that because of the whole Washington debt ceiling debate, I won't get my grants...plus, I'm registering next week (!!!) but I don't have the money yet...I need to start buying the book too...
OK, I'm going to read some and go to bed...This week I'm concentrating on reading the magazines around the house so I can throw them away :)
Good Night!
Today, I did demo of my bedroom wall w a hammer I could even lift...that's how strong my determination makes me...Good thing I was doing one of the small walls, and the one that has the door (equaling less surface)...There's a lot of dust : /
Tomorrow, I'm drywalling it and maybe I'll paint my room finally this week...The last room in the house to get painted into 2 tones of brown...The room where the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover...
I also want to see if I'll have enough money w my grants left over to fix up my garage as a studio apartment to rent it out...That would be so awesome!!!! Cross your fingers for me that everything works out...I'm scared that because of the whole Washington debt ceiling debate, I won't get my grants...plus, I'm registering next week (!!!) but I don't have the money yet...I need to start buying the book too...
OK, I'm going to read some and go to bed...This week I'm concentrating on reading the magazines around the house so I can throw them away :)
Good Night!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Exposure to Venereal Desease
I am waiting for my Argentinian friend to come eat quiche w me...It's 8:45 and I'm starving...usually I wouldn't mind, but I went to Zumba, so I'm hungry...I guess it's an Argentinian tradition to be late...
While I wait I decided to do sth productive. There are dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry on the recliner....However, I decided it was better use of my time to pick the dress I'll wear for my divorce party and write on my blog...
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual exam...
After work, I suddenly realized I needed to shave really bad...so I'm glad I had the time for it...or it would have been impossible to insert anything there (and not in the fun way).
So, I had a pap done (not very exciting "action") and I asked to get STD tested...I said "I haven't had sex since I got divorced and I had the tests done while I was pregnant but I want to have those current results"...The doctor more than gladly agreed.
When he came back with the order he told me "The Diagnosis says "exposure to Venereal Disease" so that the insurance will cover it"....(Do you know where I work???)...Since it was before 7 (time the Lab closes) I went across to the hospital and got the paperwork for my labs.
When the lab tech came, I let her know "I haven't been exposed to a Venereal Disease, I haven't been expose to sex AT ALL..." She thought it was funny...I just kept thinking of all the people around the hospital that would see it...
She takes out 4 tubes to be filled w my blood....I hate needles...I don't know how I got my tattoos done, and had 2 epidurals...I'm such a baby...I think this was the second time in my life I didn't have anybody to hold my hand while I don't look at the Lab tech drawing blood from me...
She gave me the good news that she was only going to poke me once..but every time she took a tube out and put another one in...I suffered...
After she was done, she left the folder in the bin...I asked if she was going to take it to the front...but "No, tomorrow"...yes, please..let's just delay the process and increase the exposure....
Anyways...next day...I told my department so that, is anyone saw it they knew how virginal I was...
I guess it changed my view...I used to think people getting those were truly.....a mess...And I'm clearly not (aside from mentally)...very humbling...
It's another day, Maria came, so I just saved it...and now I'm laying on my freshly mowed grass...Dory, my manual land mower...has gotten sharpened enough that, paired up w my hulk like strenght, can completely handle this yard in less than an hour...and leave time and energy to lay on it, enjoy it, listen to Sugarland and write....American dream, right???
OK friends...Thanks for reading about my extraordinarily ordinary life
Have a great weekend!!!
While I wait I decided to do sth productive. There are dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry on the recliner....However, I decided it was better use of my time to pick the dress I'll wear for my divorce party and write on my blog...
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual exam...
After work, I suddenly realized I needed to shave really bad...so I'm glad I had the time for it...or it would have been impossible to insert anything there (and not in the fun way).
So, I had a pap done (not very exciting "action") and I asked to get STD tested...I said "I haven't had sex since I got divorced and I had the tests done while I was pregnant but I want to have those current results"...The doctor more than gladly agreed.
When he came back with the order he told me "The Diagnosis says "exposure to Venereal Disease" so that the insurance will cover it"....(Do you know where I work???)...Since it was before 7 (time the Lab closes) I went across to the hospital and got the paperwork for my labs.
When the lab tech came, I let her know "I haven't been exposed to a Venereal Disease, I haven't been expose to sex AT ALL..." She thought it was funny...I just kept thinking of all the people around the hospital that would see it...
She takes out 4 tubes to be filled w my blood....I hate needles...I don't know how I got my tattoos done, and had 2 epidurals...I'm such a baby...I think this was the second time in my life I didn't have anybody to hold my hand while I don't look at the Lab tech drawing blood from me...
She gave me the good news that she was only going to poke me once..but every time she took a tube out and put another one in...I suffered...
After she was done, she left the folder in the bin...I asked if she was going to take it to the front...but "No, tomorrow"...yes, please..let's just delay the process and increase the exposure....
Anyways...next day...I told my department so that, is anyone saw it they knew how virginal I was...
I guess it changed my view...I used to think people getting those were truly.....a mess...And I'm clearly not (aside from mentally)...very humbling...
It's another day, Maria came, so I just saved it...and now I'm laying on my freshly mowed grass...Dory, my manual land mower...has gotten sharpened enough that, paired up w my hulk like strenght, can completely handle this yard in less than an hour...and leave time and energy to lay on it, enjoy it, listen to Sugarland and write....American dream, right???
OK friends...Thanks for reading about my extraordinarily ordinary life
Have a great weekend!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
A dad for my children...No, thanks
Guy I met at the bar asked me what I was doing on the weekend and, after I responded I didn't know ans what did he have in mind, never answer back...
My theory is that he saw I had children and I thought he'd have to become a daddy overnight...Neither I want him to be the father of my children (they already have one, crappy, but there) nor I want to have a relationship w him...I met him at a bar...
I've started thinking this booty call thing is not going to happen...and re changing my mind set...Only due to my very little experience, I think the more you know the person the more you can let go, ask for what you want, feel comfortable about giving them what they want and, therefore, the better the sex is...so maybe I shall wait...I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter...I just make it sound like it...
Another thing, my therapist discharged me...She's tried it a few times...And I didn't think it'd be a good time because school will be added to my things to balance picture pretty soon...but she insisted. If she read this blog she'd change her mind...I think maybe all her patients are crazier than me (that's a lot a lot)....Oh well...Is not like I have problems expressing my feelings or acting on the issues i can fix, right??? Let's keep telling myself I'm ok and repeating the serenity prayer...
My soon to be project is drywalling one of the walls of my bedroom, so that I can paint it (is the only unpainted room), and so that I can put trim in the house...I just don't know where all this money will come from...but I'm sure I'll get it done :), just because you find the way of doing the things you really want to...
My grandparents have offered to pay me a trip to Argentina, since they are not coming due to the visa taking too long...I just don't know when I can take the time for that...
Mi niece was born today...I got to see her just for a little bit...what a miracle babies are...It's pretty amazing....I can't even describe it...
My theory is that he saw I had children and I thought he'd have to become a daddy overnight...Neither I want him to be the father of my children (they already have one, crappy, but there) nor I want to have a relationship w him...I met him at a bar...
I've started thinking this booty call thing is not going to happen...and re changing my mind set...Only due to my very little experience, I think the more you know the person the more you can let go, ask for what you want, feel comfortable about giving them what they want and, therefore, the better the sex is...so maybe I shall wait...I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter...I just make it sound like it...
Another thing, my therapist discharged me...She's tried it a few times...And I didn't think it'd be a good time because school will be added to my things to balance picture pretty soon...but she insisted. If she read this blog she'd change her mind...I think maybe all her patients are crazier than me (that's a lot a lot)....Oh well...Is not like I have problems expressing my feelings or acting on the issues i can fix, right??? Let's keep telling myself I'm ok and repeating the serenity prayer...
My soon to be project is drywalling one of the walls of my bedroom, so that I can paint it (is the only unpainted room), and so that I can put trim in the house...I just don't know where all this money will come from...but I'm sure I'll get it done :), just because you find the way of doing the things you really want to...
My grandparents have offered to pay me a trip to Argentina, since they are not coming due to the visa taking too long...I just don't know when I can take the time for that...
Mi niece was born today...I got to see her just for a little bit...what a miracle babies are...It's pretty amazing....I can't even describe it...
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Crappy...but life is ok
I'm in love with JP from the Bachelorette...If she doesn't take him...I will.
Tuesday sucked....I sucked at work, I didn't get the job I applied for, and I got a really bad news (to be disclosed)...
I didn't take the job news as bad as I thought...considering the fact that it means I'm still stuck in the system, that I'm not moving forward and that I don't know how will I feed my family...Plus, it's pretty much the only job I haven't gotten after an interview...I'm really good at interviews...I mean, it's all about presenting yourself, and nobody knows how awesome I am better than myself...
My bad news that I got was that my American BFF is not getting the house 4 blocks away from mine..I went into shock, and then found a hundred undoable solutions and then I accepted it by painting...Those are my steps...
Money sure would fix a lot of problems...I wish I had the money to fix up my garage so my friend could move in there :)
I painted the inside of the bathroom closet white (it used to be many colors)...My clothes deserve to be in a pretty place...I wish I could go on What not to wear, throw all my clothes away and get all new clothes for my closet (don't we all)...but then I'd have no idea what to wear for a while.
To cheer my friend up I told her (not asked her) that we were going out the next day and I figured it all out for her...So I went to kidnap her and she didn't come...Turns out her husband is on my black list now for that...long story, but he didn't say he wasn't working the next day...
I got home, message Liz, who trained me and used to work at the hospital but now lives in Kansas, and went straight to the bar to meet w her...50 cents beer...pretty awesome...$2 dollar night...
I met a few of her friends....One I was interested in for a booty call guy :)...and we are going rafting w a few people next week...So exciting...Ill keep you posted (if I survive w the river as high as it is)...
I drank 2 beers in 2 hours...and I'm sure i was in the limit to drive (and I felt more than fine) but I walk home (alone, yes).
Having the car in front of the bar forced me to get my butt up this morning and go walk (I had to get my car)...I was on my way down the mountain when I started hearing a whistle...I walk about 5 meters (look it up) thinking dog whistles were very annoying and I didn't know why would a dog want to go to it...and then I realized dog whistles are inaudible for humans so I thought this could be a person yelling for help...As I was walking back up, I had it all figured out...I was going to go to the person, make sure they were ok, and then go get out trauma coordinator/ er nurse, I had just seen running up...Turns out it was a dog whistle...Better safe than guiltfull I guess...
There was an armed bank robbery in the very small town of Salida...I called my few in town families to make sure they stayed inside and narrowed my kids to being w Michael (2 blocks away from the bank)...I left him a message not to leave the apartment and why, and to call me, ad I kept calling him all day but the absolute a hole never had the decency to call me...I guess he really enjoys messing w me as much as usual and didn't consider the fact that I just wanted to know the kids were safe...
The hospital went into lock down (total restricted movement in and out)...It was pretty much the same...other than I was worrying about my daughters the whole day...I hope he decides life is too difficult and moves away soon...
OK, I'll go watch some TV..
Peace out yo'
Tuesday sucked....I sucked at work, I didn't get the job I applied for, and I got a really bad news (to be disclosed)...
I didn't take the job news as bad as I thought...considering the fact that it means I'm still stuck in the system, that I'm not moving forward and that I don't know how will I feed my family...Plus, it's pretty much the only job I haven't gotten after an interview...I'm really good at interviews...I mean, it's all about presenting yourself, and nobody knows how awesome I am better than myself...
My bad news that I got was that my American BFF is not getting the house 4 blocks away from mine..I went into shock, and then found a hundred undoable solutions and then I accepted it by painting...Those are my steps...
Money sure would fix a lot of problems...I wish I had the money to fix up my garage so my friend could move in there :)
I painted the inside of the bathroom closet white (it used to be many colors)...My clothes deserve to be in a pretty place...I wish I could go on What not to wear, throw all my clothes away and get all new clothes for my closet (don't we all)...but then I'd have no idea what to wear for a while.
To cheer my friend up I told her (not asked her) that we were going out the next day and I figured it all out for her...So I went to kidnap her and she didn't come...Turns out her husband is on my black list now for that...long story, but he didn't say he wasn't working the next day...
I got home, message Liz, who trained me and used to work at the hospital but now lives in Kansas, and went straight to the bar to meet w her...50 cents beer...pretty awesome...$2 dollar night...
I met a few of her friends....One I was interested in for a booty call guy :)...and we are going rafting w a few people next week...So exciting...Ill keep you posted (if I survive w the river as high as it is)...
I drank 2 beers in 2 hours...and I'm sure i was in the limit to drive (and I felt more than fine) but I walk home (alone, yes).
Having the car in front of the bar forced me to get my butt up this morning and go walk (I had to get my car)...I was on my way down the mountain when I started hearing a whistle...I walk about 5 meters (look it up) thinking dog whistles were very annoying and I didn't know why would a dog want to go to it...and then I realized dog whistles are inaudible for humans so I thought this could be a person yelling for help...As I was walking back up, I had it all figured out...I was going to go to the person, make sure they were ok, and then go get out trauma coordinator/ er nurse, I had just seen running up...Turns out it was a dog whistle...Better safe than guiltfull I guess...
There was an armed bank robbery in the very small town of Salida...I called my few in town families to make sure they stayed inside and narrowed my kids to being w Michael (2 blocks away from the bank)...I left him a message not to leave the apartment and why, and to call me, ad I kept calling him all day but the absolute a hole never had the decency to call me...I guess he really enjoys messing w me as much as usual and didn't consider the fact that I just wanted to know the kids were safe...
The hospital went into lock down (total restricted movement in and out)...It was pretty much the same...other than I was worrying about my daughters the whole day...I hope he decides life is too difficult and moves away soon...
OK, I'll go watch some TV..
Peace out yo'
Friday, July 8, 2011
Going on an extreme diet...
It's thundering pretty promisingly here...I love rain...you know what rain reminds me of??? You guessed it: Sex...Nice, slow romantic, or sweaty and hard sex...What a wonderful thing...
Have you ripped your eyes out yet???
I wasn't the best mom today...I yelled a few times and didn't do the steps to take privileges away..I just took it...It just drives me crazy that Kyrsten never wants to help...she never wants to pick up her own messes...She is being raised by a single mom so she better get on it. And fast.
Plus, it's hard to have to figure it all out by myself...I'm stressed. I was supposed to get my $365 (it used to be $600) in food stamps on Monday...and yesterday afternoon I checked my card balance and I hadn't gotten it yet...So I called this morning and she said they had been cancelled (long story)...I sent my latest (smaller) paychecks, and she reinstated me..and now I'm getting, $200...which I'm extremely grateful for, but I can't feed us on that amount...$365 was ok (and a bit of a challenge)...Maybe if I don't eat the half of the week I don't have the girls $200 will do...I don't get it...My income didn't increase...I know one person in the household left...but you can't feed 3 people on $200...I guess I'll have to find the way...
Supplementing my income is not working very well...After my initial investment of a blackboard, markers, batteries, a portable CD player, and the time I spend preparing the classes...I don't really make much at all...I think it is very important for kids to learn Spanish but it really feels like more of a sacrifice than a gain right now, to be honest...Maybe I'll just make it a summer thing...Who knows...
I really need to get this job now...Really really do...Or I don't know what I'm going to do...I can't sell my body, cause no one will even take it for free...God will provide..he always does...Pray for the job too...
I hate being in the system...I can't wait to get off of it...It stinks and makes no sense...And I work my butt off for a place who had millions in over profit every year...it's a joke...
My sister in law has been having mild contractions for a day and a half now...so hopefully this weekend we'll have a baby...I can't wait to meet her. Plus, babies put things in perspective...
OK, enough complaining...Time to dream of a better future...
Love,
Cata
ps...this was in my drafts for some reason...its from last friday...
Have you ripped your eyes out yet???
I wasn't the best mom today...I yelled a few times and didn't do the steps to take privileges away..I just took it...It just drives me crazy that Kyrsten never wants to help...she never wants to pick up her own messes...She is being raised by a single mom so she better get on it. And fast.
Plus, it's hard to have to figure it all out by myself...I'm stressed. I was supposed to get my $365 (it used to be $600) in food stamps on Monday...and yesterday afternoon I checked my card balance and I hadn't gotten it yet...So I called this morning and she said they had been cancelled (long story)...I sent my latest (smaller) paychecks, and she reinstated me..and now I'm getting, $200...which I'm extremely grateful for, but I can't feed us on that amount...$365 was ok (and a bit of a challenge)...Maybe if I don't eat the half of the week I don't have the girls $200 will do...I don't get it...My income didn't increase...I know one person in the household left...but you can't feed 3 people on $200...I guess I'll have to find the way...
Supplementing my income is not working very well...After my initial investment of a blackboard, markers, batteries, a portable CD player, and the time I spend preparing the classes...I don't really make much at all...I think it is very important for kids to learn Spanish but it really feels like more of a sacrifice than a gain right now, to be honest...Maybe I'll just make it a summer thing...Who knows...
I really need to get this job now...Really really do...Or I don't know what I'm going to do...I can't sell my body, cause no one will even take it for free...God will provide..he always does...Pray for the job too...
I hate being in the system...I can't wait to get off of it...It stinks and makes no sense...And I work my butt off for a place who had millions in over profit every year...it's a joke...
My sister in law has been having mild contractions for a day and a half now...so hopefully this weekend we'll have a baby...I can't wait to meet her. Plus, babies put things in perspective...
OK, enough complaining...Time to dream of a better future...
Love,
Cata
ps...this was in my drafts for some reason...its from last friday...
Thursday, July 7, 2011
My busy week
It's been quite a busy week...
4th of July...circus, parade, BBQ...which was super fun!!! It's nice to see how much better the girls are getting at being able to play with kids on their own...So now I can start being an adult even when they are around.
Tuesday...Went to the dentist, which included the psycho-ex-girlfriend, I want to be your best friend, dental assistant...Yuck...at least it's done...
at night, it was deep cleaning at the house, I started room by room cleaning and organizing...so great...Tomorrow they are coming to wash the carpet.
Wednesday, Interview... I interview for a job at the Treasurer office in this County...Great benefits: paid holidays, vacation time, no deduction for insurance, 25% more than what I make (which would allow me to get off the system :), getting contacts for recommendation letters for Law School...I think they liked me, I even made them laugh a few times... I am nervous about one thing...I got the feeling that people in the office don't totally get along...but I could be wrong...I think it would be a great move for me...I'll hear about it next week, I'll keep you posted :)
At night I had my finance class, which was the reading of the promissory note and deed of trust when you buy a house....It merciless and outrageous the things lenders are allowed to ask you to sign...and you don't have a choice if you want to buy sth...but it's good to know the mess you are getting into...
After class I went to Em's in the middle of nowhere house, which was great...I did spend half the night talking about interesting stuff and the other half talking about the sex I'm not having...and resolved that, specially with school coming, I need a booty call...Bim bam bum and let's get back on with life, perfect, right??? well, I need to find a guy I'm physically attracted to. Little detail.
Today I went walking with my friend Jirka, and she told me I wouldn't like to have a booty call...She either thinks too highly of me or she is too decent...I think both...I actually don't think there's anything wrong really...It works...as long as both parties agree on it (and which guy wouldn't agree on sex without a relationship)...I think it'd be perfect :)...
Today, I was suppose to go to the therapist but her son got sick so it's been cancelled..I only go once a month and I had been thinking about not going anymore, but with school starting I'm sure I'll need to find my sanity once a month...at least...
In the afternoon I mowed the grass for the first time...I hadn't even done 5% and I already had blisters and was ready to give up...It looks so easy but it's not...I need to start working on my arms more...or get a booty call/grass mower guy...I guess big arms will be a must (and a good butt because that's where the strenght comes from, right?)...anyways, as much as I enjoy my grass I hate mowing it...I which it was only a once a year thing...I got a third done because I need it for my Spanish class on Saturday (which I haven't even prepared yet)...Maybe I'll do another third tomorrow and another one on Saturday...I'm hoping after I finish it'll be easier to keep up...It doesn't look very even now...like a bad haircut...Mowing is like waxing, hate it but things need to be trimmed :)
After 4th of July, work was a nightmare...huge piles...the girl that trained me helped me all week with so much...I was caught up yesterday and did really good today...Bless her heart...it's awesome to be caught up...
Ok, no deep thought...I just had to catch up with my very (not) interesting life...
OH, a couple of great things happening...My best friend got her visa, so she's coming in August and we are going to Vegas for the first time !!!!
I wrote to my last first date and told him he was a great guy but I didn't want to go out on a date on Monday....Someday my second date will happen, just not right now...
I'm not proof reading this because I want to go read...I hope it made sense (as if I ever do).
Good Night everybody!!!
4th of July...circus, parade, BBQ...which was super fun!!! It's nice to see how much better the girls are getting at being able to play with kids on their own...So now I can start being an adult even when they are around.
Tuesday...Went to the dentist, which included the psycho-ex-girlfriend, I want to be your best friend, dental assistant...Yuck...at least it's done...
at night, it was deep cleaning at the house, I started room by room cleaning and organizing...so great...Tomorrow they are coming to wash the carpet.
Wednesday, Interview... I interview for a job at the Treasurer office in this County...Great benefits: paid holidays, vacation time, no deduction for insurance, 25% more than what I make (which would allow me to get off the system :), getting contacts for recommendation letters for Law School...I think they liked me, I even made them laugh a few times... I am nervous about one thing...I got the feeling that people in the office don't totally get along...but I could be wrong...I think it would be a great move for me...I'll hear about it next week, I'll keep you posted :)
At night I had my finance class, which was the reading of the promissory note and deed of trust when you buy a house....It merciless and outrageous the things lenders are allowed to ask you to sign...and you don't have a choice if you want to buy sth...but it's good to know the mess you are getting into...
After class I went to Em's in the middle of nowhere house, which was great...I did spend half the night talking about interesting stuff and the other half talking about the sex I'm not having...and resolved that, specially with school coming, I need a booty call...Bim bam bum and let's get back on with life, perfect, right??? well, I need to find a guy I'm physically attracted to. Little detail.
Today I went walking with my friend Jirka, and she told me I wouldn't like to have a booty call...She either thinks too highly of me or she is too decent...I think both...I actually don't think there's anything wrong really...It works...as long as both parties agree on it (and which guy wouldn't agree on sex without a relationship)...I think it'd be perfect :)...
Today, I was suppose to go to the therapist but her son got sick so it's been cancelled..I only go once a month and I had been thinking about not going anymore, but with school starting I'm sure I'll need to find my sanity once a month...at least...
In the afternoon I mowed the grass for the first time...I hadn't even done 5% and I already had blisters and was ready to give up...It looks so easy but it's not...I need to start working on my arms more...or get a booty call/grass mower guy...I guess big arms will be a must (and a good butt because that's where the strenght comes from, right?)...anyways, as much as I enjoy my grass I hate mowing it...I which it was only a once a year thing...I got a third done because I need it for my Spanish class on Saturday (which I haven't even prepared yet)...Maybe I'll do another third tomorrow and another one on Saturday...I'm hoping after I finish it'll be easier to keep up...It doesn't look very even now...like a bad haircut...Mowing is like waxing, hate it but things need to be trimmed :)
After 4th of July, work was a nightmare...huge piles...the girl that trained me helped me all week with so much...I was caught up yesterday and did really good today...Bless her heart...it's awesome to be caught up...
Ok, no deep thought...I just had to catch up with my very (not) interesting life...
OH, a couple of great things happening...My best friend got her visa, so she's coming in August and we are going to Vegas for the first time !!!!
I wrote to my last first date and told him he was a great guy but I didn't want to go out on a date on Monday....Someday my second date will happen, just not right now...
I'm not proof reading this because I want to go read...I hope it made sense (as if I ever do).
Good Night everybody!!!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Parenting the biggest challenge I'll ever face...
Sometimes I wonder why my children don't take me seriously...I do follow through...Yesterday at the park it took me counting until 3 and grounding them from, coming to the park the next day, watching movies that night, and finally chocolate was enough punishment for them to decide to go...
Today, they decided to rub their pickle (they are girls and that's why I feel OK saying that), on the table... and after a warning, I took it away...
For bedtime, I told Kyrsten if she tried to push her sister of her bed (yet again), I would stop reading...and so I did...they decided they didn't want to go to bed...first time I said I'd close the door...second time the light...and that did it...but geez...aren't they used to the right way of doing things by now???
As I type...Olivia has taken one hour to fall asleep...
Maybe they are sensing how guilty I'm feeling lately...Of feeling happy they are growing up and they can do so many things by themselves, while I do chores around the house...I feel super guilty...as if because of being raised by a single mom they won't get as much attention and they will have to grow up quicker...They deserve more than that...they deserve as long of a childhood and as much innocence as possible...extra if that's available..They deserve everything...and I wonder if even as I do my best every day, that won't cover it...How hard...And they bring me more joy, knowledge and lessons than they will ever know...how's that fair???
And I'm terrified of the world they'll face...keeps getting crazier and crazier and I hope they want me around and want to ask me questions about any topics...
(Serenity Praise here)...
Parenting the biggest challenge I'll ever face...
Today, they decided to rub their pickle (they are girls and that's why I feel OK saying that), on the table... and after a warning, I took it away...
For bedtime, I told Kyrsten if she tried to push her sister of her bed (yet again), I would stop reading...and so I did...they decided they didn't want to go to bed...first time I said I'd close the door...second time the light...and that did it...but geez...aren't they used to the right way of doing things by now???
As I type...Olivia has taken one hour to fall asleep...
Maybe they are sensing how guilty I'm feeling lately...Of feeling happy they are growing up and they can do so many things by themselves, while I do chores around the house...I feel super guilty...as if because of being raised by a single mom they won't get as much attention and they will have to grow up quicker...They deserve more than that...they deserve as long of a childhood and as much innocence as possible...extra if that's available..They deserve everything...and I wonder if even as I do my best every day, that won't cover it...How hard...And they bring me more joy, knowledge and lessons than they will ever know...how's that fair???
And I'm terrified of the world they'll face...keeps getting crazier and crazier and I hope they want me around and want to ask me questions about any topics...
(Serenity Praise here)...
Parenting the biggest challenge I'll ever face...
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Life is perfect!!!!
It's been a great weekend and it's only Saturday of a long weekend...
Friday night the Air Force Academy Orchestra played at the park...Retired people (most of our community), sat ALLLL afternoon in their foldable camping chairs...We got there about one hour before, and you couldn't see anything...So, I strategically placed us very near the park so we could get tired before they started playing...Swinging gets me more tired than the girls...
My mini double folding camping chairs and stroller were left abandoned all show...and we just played...with music...It was perfect...I danced with them (a few years from now they'll be embarrassed of their mom's shamelessness), sang, talked with friends...Perfect...Olivia only threw sand to 2 kids and knocked down her friend with a hug...pretty good...Perfect...
Today, Spanish class...which was a bit chaotic but I believe the kids are having a lot more fun and learning a lot...I'm still not ready to have them all by myself...but it's been a learning process, that's still going...
Then I went to learn how to change the oil of my car (in my road to be self sufficient), and cleaned the car.
My friend's husband came to mow my wild lawn...It was such a hard task and he made it look so easy...I'm so grateful...I got a mower...It was a lot more expensive than I was planning to spend and that I can afford but at least it's one thing more off my to do list...Now I can just keep up with it...forever and ever...
Then, we went to the park..it was so much fun...I was swinging with the girls...realizing how perfect my life is...just right then...
I've been having a lot of those moments that I just "stop and smell the roses"...that I just see the perfection in how things are... :) I'm happy :) What a huge statement to make...
Find perfection in simple things!!!
Love to all my fans who still read e even though I write with no cohesiveness...
Cata
Friday night the Air Force Academy Orchestra played at the park...Retired people (most of our community), sat ALLLL afternoon in their foldable camping chairs...We got there about one hour before, and you couldn't see anything...So, I strategically placed us very near the park so we could get tired before they started playing...Swinging gets me more tired than the girls...
My mini double folding camping chairs and stroller were left abandoned all show...and we just played...with music...It was perfect...I danced with them (a few years from now they'll be embarrassed of their mom's shamelessness), sang, talked with friends...Perfect...Olivia only threw sand to 2 kids and knocked down her friend with a hug...pretty good...Perfect...
Today, Spanish class...which was a bit chaotic but I believe the kids are having a lot more fun and learning a lot...I'm still not ready to have them all by myself...but it's been a learning process, that's still going...
Then I went to learn how to change the oil of my car (in my road to be self sufficient), and cleaned the car.
My friend's husband came to mow my wild lawn...It was such a hard task and he made it look so easy...I'm so grateful...I got a mower...It was a lot more expensive than I was planning to spend and that I can afford but at least it's one thing more off my to do list...Now I can just keep up with it...forever and ever...
Then, we went to the park..it was so much fun...I was swinging with the girls...realizing how perfect my life is...just right then...
I've been having a lot of those moments that I just "stop and smell the roses"...that I just see the perfection in how things are... :) I'm happy :) What a huge statement to make...
Find perfection in simple things!!!
Love to all my fans who still read e even though I write with no cohesiveness...
Cata
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Living a surreal life...
Today, Kyrsten started calling me Miss Mommy and Olivia said Oh my gosh a few times...who are these children and where are my real ones???...I can't believe in exactly one month Olivia will be two...pretty crazy...
I woke up today and walked up S mountain...I don't mind doing it alone, but I walk much faster when I do it with other people...I'm still thinking of making it a weekly thing regardless.
I came home and the electricity was out, which is very weird around here (it wasn't something I did...I checked the breakers and they were fine)...I got ready for work and there I went...
I printed out some things about my scholarships and at lunch my ex manager explained to me, after all school is paid, the rest of the money goes to me...THAT'S CRAZY INSANE AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD EXPECT IT...I wish they'd give me enough money to just study...but I think I'll be more organized if I have so much to do...I do feel like I almost don't deserve it...It's weird...Like so many other people really need it. But I do too, I guess...
Amidst my astonishment, Em and I went to walk the "new" trail at the hospital to find one thing for every letter of the alphabet...well, she was...I wasn't helping much...I'm foreign so coming up with word out of the blue (or not) is not the easiest..plus, I was in my own little "I'm going to college and God is great" world while she was focusing...It was fun. We laughed a lot and got lots of very annoying pebbles in our shoes...
After I got back to work, I didn't tell anyone...Cause they are wonderful people but they are not my friends...I do miss my friends from my old department...
Em came to say by before she left, and I talked everything I hadn't all day. In 15 min...With my accent she probably only understood half...
I picked up my daughters and went to walmart to get a manual push mower for my sod jungle but the sold the only one they had...so I got oil for my car and I'm going to learn how to change it on Sat.
It started pouring right before we got out of the store...so I got brave and started running (my kids were in the cart...I didn't leave them behind)...after I put them in the car really fast, and I store the cart...It stopped raining, of course...
Oh! Another thing...a guy message me and we talked for a bit about both having gone through a divorce. I don't think I "went through" a divorce...I "went through" a marriage...a now I'm just divorced (if the judge would only sign the papers)...Some people think I'm being over the top for throwing a party for the divorce..and that I'm crushed inside... If you knew how crappy my marriage was, and you'd see me now..you'd realize how happy I am and how much I have to celebrate...
Anyways, this guy...He said we could talk another time if I was interested and I said "no, but it was nice talking to you" (that's a line from my friend Lynn)...I think at another point I would just have talked to someone just to be nice...However, I didn't know this guy at all and I wasn't interested in getting to know him...
So, my new strategy on dates, so that I don't hate them is to ask my date deep questions on the first date...so that I can get interested (or not at all and then I'll know)...Cause learning about their family won't tell me what I want to know (if their mind is attractive)...we'll see...I might get some "huh?" and it's ok...NEXT!!!
C U
Cata
PS: Sorry of the chopped off blog..I'm tired...
I woke up today and walked up S mountain...I don't mind doing it alone, but I walk much faster when I do it with other people...I'm still thinking of making it a weekly thing regardless.
I came home and the electricity was out, which is very weird around here (it wasn't something I did...I checked the breakers and they were fine)...I got ready for work and there I went...
I printed out some things about my scholarships and at lunch my ex manager explained to me, after all school is paid, the rest of the money goes to me...THAT'S CRAZY INSANE AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD EXPECT IT...I wish they'd give me enough money to just study...but I think I'll be more organized if I have so much to do...I do feel like I almost don't deserve it...It's weird...Like so many other people really need it. But I do too, I guess...
Amidst my astonishment, Em and I went to walk the "new" trail at the hospital to find one thing for every letter of the alphabet...well, she was...I wasn't helping much...I'm foreign so coming up with word out of the blue (or not) is not the easiest..plus, I was in my own little "I'm going to college and God is great" world while she was focusing...It was fun. We laughed a lot and got lots of very annoying pebbles in our shoes...
After I got back to work, I didn't tell anyone...Cause they are wonderful people but they are not my friends...I do miss my friends from my old department...
Em came to say by before she left, and I talked everything I hadn't all day. In 15 min...With my accent she probably only understood half...
I picked up my daughters and went to walmart to get a manual push mower for my sod jungle but the sold the only one they had...so I got oil for my car and I'm going to learn how to change it on Sat.
It started pouring right before we got out of the store...so I got brave and started running (my kids were in the cart...I didn't leave them behind)...after I put them in the car really fast, and I store the cart...It stopped raining, of course...
Oh! Another thing...a guy message me and we talked for a bit about both having gone through a divorce. I don't think I "went through" a divorce...I "went through" a marriage...a now I'm just divorced (if the judge would only sign the papers)...Some people think I'm being over the top for throwing a party for the divorce..and that I'm crushed inside... If you knew how crappy my marriage was, and you'd see me now..you'd realize how happy I am and how much I have to celebrate...
Anyways, this guy...He said we could talk another time if I was interested and I said "no, but it was nice talking to you" (that's a line from my friend Lynn)...I think at another point I would just have talked to someone just to be nice...However, I didn't know this guy at all and I wasn't interested in getting to know him...
So, my new strategy on dates, so that I don't hate them is to ask my date deep questions on the first date...so that I can get interested (or not at all and then I'll know)...Cause learning about their family won't tell me what I want to know (if their mind is attractive)...we'll see...I might get some "huh?" and it's ok...NEXT!!!
C U
Cata
PS: Sorry of the chopped off blog..I'm tired...
Monday, June 27, 2011
College and my fifth first date
Today I felt dizzy all day from all the sex I'm having (not). I think it was a mixture of eating dinner too early (6) and not sleeping because finally it dawn on me I have made this college thing happened and it's coming...My pretty balanced life will add a big weight on the equation. Full time job, full time student and full time mom. The reason why I pushed school so much (other than because I love it, I'm such a nerd), it's because I don't have the girls half the week...But I still consider myself a full time mom...
It'll be hard, but I need to make the effort, for the girls, for myself, for the fulfillment of our potential...
I have already done a year of an associates, so I have 3 or four years left for a bachelor's...I've given myself until I'm 30 (5 and a half years) to finish that. And then I'm hoping to finish Law school by the time I'm 35...I'm hoping I can take some classes online...but if that doesn't happen...My house will be paid off, so I can rent it and rent something in Denver for a few years and then move back, so my children can have a safer teenage years (???)...I'm a planner. Can you tell???
I also make things happen...Like I started this whole I'm-going-to-stop-thinking-about-going-to-college and just do it...and I did it all in a week...That's because I kept writing and calling people...And now it's happening...and I'll be worrying until it starts...Truth is, I'm super excited to be back to my nerdy self...to submerge myself in books and critical thinking...Love it!!!
Today I went on my 5th first date...no second dates yet...It was nice to have a full hour to get ready...I can't remember the last time I did that...I shower, exfoliated (probably haven't done that in 6 years), gave me an excuse to shave, dried and ironed my hair (I do that about twice a year), put make up on and picked clothes. Sometimes I wish I didn't have many clothes, that way it'd be easier to pick. I had to think about this: I'm always overdressed, and this guy has a very casual job so he's probably very casual...too much thinking, I know...But I also know sometimes people feel uncomfortable because I feel more comfortable in dressy clothes than undressy ones...It was wonderful to get all pretty for a date.
Great great guy, I had a great time...Favorite restaurant...I am incredibly honored to meet this guy and I think he'll be a great friend..Yep, friend...I think he'll be awesome to hang out with and I'd definitely go out with him again. I just don't know...I think my problem was that we talked about some good things but nothing deep...And deep conversations are the ones that move me. I guess you can't have deep conversations with everybody but I guess I won't get very interested unless I do... THOSE ARE MY HIGH STANDARDS.
I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me, if I'm just too picky or if just it's not the right time for me...Who knows...I won't have time for dating when the semester starts, anyways...excuses, excuses...I guess when it happens, it happens...and It'll probably happen at the worst timing type of moment...It's ok...I'm super woman, right?
It'll be hard, but I need to make the effort, for the girls, for myself, for the fulfillment of our potential...
I have already done a year of an associates, so I have 3 or four years left for a bachelor's...I've given myself until I'm 30 (5 and a half years) to finish that. And then I'm hoping to finish Law school by the time I'm 35...I'm hoping I can take some classes online...but if that doesn't happen...My house will be paid off, so I can rent it and rent something in Denver for a few years and then move back, so my children can have a safer teenage years (???)...I'm a planner. Can you tell???
I also make things happen...Like I started this whole I'm-going-to-stop-thinking-about-going-to-college and just do it...and I did it all in a week...That's because I kept writing and calling people...And now it's happening...and I'll be worrying until it starts...Truth is, I'm super excited to be back to my nerdy self...to submerge myself in books and critical thinking...Love it!!!
Today I went on my 5th first date...no second dates yet...It was nice to have a full hour to get ready...I can't remember the last time I did that...I shower, exfoliated (probably haven't done that in 6 years), gave me an excuse to shave, dried and ironed my hair (I do that about twice a year), put make up on and picked clothes. Sometimes I wish I didn't have many clothes, that way it'd be easier to pick. I had to think about this: I'm always overdressed, and this guy has a very casual job so he's probably very casual...too much thinking, I know...But I also know sometimes people feel uncomfortable because I feel more comfortable in dressy clothes than undressy ones...It was wonderful to get all pretty for a date.
Great great guy, I had a great time...Favorite restaurant...I am incredibly honored to meet this guy and I think he'll be a great friend..Yep, friend...I think he'll be awesome to hang out with and I'd definitely go out with him again. I just don't know...I think my problem was that we talked about some good things but nothing deep...And deep conversations are the ones that move me. I guess you can't have deep conversations with everybody but I guess I won't get very interested unless I do... THOSE ARE MY HIGH STANDARDS.
I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me, if I'm just too picky or if just it's not the right time for me...Who knows...I won't have time for dating when the semester starts, anyways...excuses, excuses...I guess when it happens, it happens...and It'll probably happen at the worst timing type of moment...It's ok...I'm super woman, right?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Cooking disaster
I made a mess today for dinner...It was supposed to be hamburgers (how difficult can that be). I mixed the hamburger meat, cheese, garlic, salt, and chopped onion. I love the taste onion gives to things...I just hate crying over it...I cry enough without onions (sweet things my girls say, song, etc)...I bought the amazing invention called the chopper...but even that didn't help today...yuck...
Anyways, I made the burgers small so that they would cook quickly and well...As I was turning them, they broke apart so I decided to just make scrambled burger stuff, and put it in the sandwich...It was delicious but I felt pretty defeated...Oh well...at least it was a pretty nutritious and a home cooked meal...Baby steps.
Tomorrow I have a date...I know, it's raining men...My 5th first date...no second dates...This guy is supposed to be very sweet, he's from Salida, so my first local...We are going for dinner...I'll let you guys know how it goes...
I forgot Michael is working Tuesday morning and he was going to bring the girls to spend the night...So I said I'd pick them up instead.
I'm going very opened minded because they've told me he's such a nice guy...I hope he's funny, because that's no1 in my list...And I hope he gets my dumb jokes (or pretends to)...either way, we are going to my favorite restaurant. He chose it, so that's a good start...I am just realizing it's my first date in public too...I wonder if that'll be a good or a bad thing...OK, no more analyzing...as my sister told me "just go with the flow"...And so I shall.
Anyways, I made the burgers small so that they would cook quickly and well...As I was turning them, they broke apart so I decided to just make scrambled burger stuff, and put it in the sandwich...It was delicious but I felt pretty defeated...Oh well...at least it was a pretty nutritious and a home cooked meal...Baby steps.
Tomorrow I have a date...I know, it's raining men...My 5th first date...no second dates...This guy is supposed to be very sweet, he's from Salida, so my first local...We are going for dinner...I'll let you guys know how it goes...
I forgot Michael is working Tuesday morning and he was going to bring the girls to spend the night...So I said I'd pick them up instead.
I'm going very opened minded because they've told me he's such a nice guy...I hope he's funny, because that's no1 in my list...And I hope he gets my dumb jokes (or pretends to)...either way, we are going to my favorite restaurant. He chose it, so that's a good start...I am just realizing it's my first date in public too...I wonder if that'll be a good or a bad thing...OK, no more analyzing...as my sister told me "just go with the flow"...And so I shall.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Dating Doctors and Single Dads
I was talking to somebody yesterday, and they were telling me about somebody who had 2 kids "and her fiance had 3 more"...
Ten years ago (or maybe even 5)...I would never have considered going out with a single parent (it's definitely the culture I come from, here things are different)...As a newly single parent, I can't be that hypocritical, so I've opened my mind...But what if I date a single dad that has 3 kids....Imagine that equation...I get exhausted just thinking about it...
Another thing that happened this week, is some new guys in Med School are doing rotations at the hospital I work at...So my friend Lynn automatically started trying to hook me up with one of them (before I had a choice in the matter)...After thinking about it for 2 seconds...I don't want to go out with someone just because they are a doctor...Like I told one of my friends, they probably have egos bigger than mine (and that's pretty big)...
Therefore, I'm having Lynn screen him, if she wants me to go out with him and see if he's worth my time...It probably won't even happen, but those are my friends...They need hobbies other than finding guys for me...I'm not desperate at all, THEY ARE...It reflects negatively on me.
Yesterday, I woke up at 5.30 to go up a mountain here at 6, just a walk......My calves and butt hurt today...I guess that's a good thing...I need to do it more often but for now I can only do it once a week...
Plus, that noon, there was a pot luck at work and I ate sooooo much, I was really sleepy all afternoon (aka don't want to work, just take a nap)..."your eyes are bigger than your stomach" my grandma would say, and she would be right...
Tonight I did the same thing: I made BLT for the first time ever (so easy in the microwave), and I ate 2 just because they were so yummy...It's increased my ego seen that I can make things in the kitchen even when I have such rejection towards it.
My scholarship stuff is going really well...Cross your fingers that I'll be re starting at the end of August and become a happy nerd again. I just need to get in touch with the Law School I want to go to and ask them which bachelor from the ones the College here offering would make me a more appealing candidate for the school... I'm beside myself w excitement...
I was moving some dirt outside in the front yard (I can't help myself) and I saw a little piece of log. I started taking it out and it kept extending...I think it's the roots of the Elm that's clear at the back yard and it's swallowing my house from the ground...It worries me that there's roots all under my house...
Anyways, I guess I'll go watch Diane Sawyer...
Nite Nite!!!
Ten years ago (or maybe even 5)...I would never have considered going out with a single parent (it's definitely the culture I come from, here things are different)...As a newly single parent, I can't be that hypocritical, so I've opened my mind...But what if I date a single dad that has 3 kids....Imagine that equation...I get exhausted just thinking about it...
Another thing that happened this week, is some new guys in Med School are doing rotations at the hospital I work at...So my friend Lynn automatically started trying to hook me up with one of them (before I had a choice in the matter)...After thinking about it for 2 seconds...I don't want to go out with someone just because they are a doctor...Like I told one of my friends, they probably have egos bigger than mine (and that's pretty big)...
Therefore, I'm having Lynn screen him, if she wants me to go out with him and see if he's worth my time...It probably won't even happen, but those are my friends...They need hobbies other than finding guys for me...I'm not desperate at all, THEY ARE...It reflects negatively on me.
Yesterday, I woke up at 5.30 to go up a mountain here at 6, just a walk......My calves and butt hurt today...I guess that's a good thing...I need to do it more often but for now I can only do it once a week...
Plus, that noon, there was a pot luck at work and I ate sooooo much, I was really sleepy all afternoon (aka don't want to work, just take a nap)..."your eyes are bigger than your stomach" my grandma would say, and she would be right...
Tonight I did the same thing: I made BLT for the first time ever (so easy in the microwave), and I ate 2 just because they were so yummy...It's increased my ego seen that I can make things in the kitchen even when I have such rejection towards it.
My scholarship stuff is going really well...Cross your fingers that I'll be re starting at the end of August and become a happy nerd again. I just need to get in touch with the Law School I want to go to and ask them which bachelor from the ones the College here offering would make me a more appealing candidate for the school... I'm beside myself w excitement...
I was moving some dirt outside in the front yard (I can't help myself) and I saw a little piece of log. I started taking it out and it kept extending...I think it's the roots of the Elm that's clear at the back yard and it's swallowing my house from the ground...It worries me that there's roots all under my house...
Anyways, I guess I'll go watch Diane Sawyer...
Nite Nite!!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Lots of errands and condoms
If you haven't read my blog before, you might find that I am weird after you read this post. If you have, you probably already know I am.
I had a very productive day today, like the ones I really like.
I went to work in my bike, rocked the Medical Records world, worked out at lunch, went home, filled out a college application (Makes my nerdy self so happy), paid the mortgage, went to Zumba (in my bike again)...And then the day stopped for a bit...
I went for a beer with my friend Maria, which was great...Letting all our "argentinism" out and just talk and laugh...It's so great to just talk in Spanish and hang out for a while...Apparently, guys think it's ok to join our conversation "un poquito, nada"...Newsflash: Not everyone that goes to a bar wants to flirt...At least I don't...Maybe I should change that mindset...Not tonight though...
I came home, and got my grocery list ready...I started planning meals and couldn't figure out a 4th meal...That's how much I cook and how much it's in my mind...
I went to Walmart, with my grocery list, which I sticked to, and with the intention to buy exercise clothes...I don't care about exercise clothes any day...except for the hour I do Zumba...Everybody looks pretty good..I feel very out of place...I like dressier clothes and I don't even buy that many clothes...So I don't like spending money on clothes to exercise (which I'm not terrible fond of doing in the first place)...But I decided to go to Walmart and get gym clothes...in the clearance rack...Everything was huge...When I went to the non clearance section, there wasn't much either...I ended up buying some jogging capris and a sports bra (my boobs look very small after they come out of it)...
I also bought condoms for the first time today. It was overwhelming...I stood there, probably for about 15 min...staring...Extra thin, with spermicide, rigged, w and without vibrator, different colors, magnum sizes....and the list goes on and on....Seriously??? I didn't know what to get. I don't have a penis (and I'm thankful for it).
Luckily, I was able to pick something without asking for costumer service :P
What did I choose??? Only I know...and it'll stay that way at least for tonight...
Goodnight!!!
I had a very productive day today, like the ones I really like.
I went to work in my bike, rocked the Medical Records world, worked out at lunch, went home, filled out a college application (Makes my nerdy self so happy), paid the mortgage, went to Zumba (in my bike again)...And then the day stopped for a bit...
I went for a beer with my friend Maria, which was great...Letting all our "argentinism" out and just talk and laugh...It's so great to just talk in Spanish and hang out for a while...Apparently, guys think it's ok to join our conversation "un poquito, nada"...Newsflash: Not everyone that goes to a bar wants to flirt...At least I don't...Maybe I should change that mindset...Not tonight though...
I came home, and got my grocery list ready...I started planning meals and couldn't figure out a 4th meal...That's how much I cook and how much it's in my mind...
I went to Walmart, with my grocery list, which I sticked to, and with the intention to buy exercise clothes...I don't care about exercise clothes any day...except for the hour I do Zumba...Everybody looks pretty good..I feel very out of place...I like dressier clothes and I don't even buy that many clothes...So I don't like spending money on clothes to exercise (which I'm not terrible fond of doing in the first place)...But I decided to go to Walmart and get gym clothes...in the clearance rack...Everything was huge...When I went to the non clearance section, there wasn't much either...I ended up buying some jogging capris and a sports bra (my boobs look very small after they come out of it)...
I also bought condoms for the first time today. It was overwhelming...I stood there, probably for about 15 min...staring...Extra thin, with spermicide, rigged, w and without vibrator, different colors, magnum sizes....and the list goes on and on....Seriously??? I didn't know what to get. I don't have a penis (and I'm thankful for it).
Luckily, I was able to pick something without asking for costumer service :P
What did I choose??? Only I know...and it'll stay that way at least for tonight...
Goodnight!!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The extra traumatizing experience of going to the dentist
Today, I went to the dentist...3rd time...Let's recap...First time: xrays and look at my mouth, which took 1 and a half hours from work. Second time: Cleaning...Third time: fix one cavity (2 in one appointment would be pushing it for this people).
I don't know if I've said this before but I have a phobia (aka irrational fear) to the dentist. It is an irrational fear because I've had nothing but great dentist up until today...The guy was a jerk...and I like everybody...
Retain the fact that I'm terrified of the dentist. The dental assistant brings me in, puts the bib thing on me, and asks "Cata, don;t you remember me?" I look at her and say "No". "Don't you know who I am? I said "No". She took her mask of and asked again "don't you know who I am?"..."Who are you?" "Jesse"..."Jesse?? Michael's Jesse??" "Yes, Michael's ex"...
Jesse decided to move to Chicago one day and leave Michael...Michael started dating me...Jesse (aka psycho) started calling me everywhere, threatening me...Anyways...Now she's holding the tools...at a dental office...My heart rate went up about 20 beats per minute...and that's how it stayed the whole time...while she played best friend (wtf???) and talked and talked and talked....Asked me about the girls and how she'd seen Cathy, and Kendra and Jayden....Very traumatizing experience...
At the end, the dentist said "Come back!"...Sucks...My whole left side of my face was numb most of the day...
I went at lunch time so I was starving all day...When I was filing...I felt like I was about to pass out...when my angel friend came by and gave me chocolate covered almonds :).
After that Financial Class, to Em's middle of nowhere temporary home...It was a little disorienting to get there but so worth it...I felt so peaceful, the breeze, the smell, everything was so relaxing...Mmmm...so great...Great company, great conversation, great surroundings...
Time for bed...
I don't know if I've said this before but I have a phobia (aka irrational fear) to the dentist. It is an irrational fear because I've had nothing but great dentist up until today...The guy was a jerk...and I like everybody...
Retain the fact that I'm terrified of the dentist. The dental assistant brings me in, puts the bib thing on me, and asks "Cata, don;t you remember me?" I look at her and say "No". "Don't you know who I am? I said "No". She took her mask of and asked again "don't you know who I am?"..."Who are you?" "Jesse"..."Jesse?? Michael's Jesse??" "Yes, Michael's ex"...
Jesse decided to move to Chicago one day and leave Michael...Michael started dating me...Jesse (aka psycho) started calling me everywhere, threatening me...Anyways...Now she's holding the tools...at a dental office...My heart rate went up about 20 beats per minute...and that's how it stayed the whole time...while she played best friend (wtf???) and talked and talked and talked....Asked me about the girls and how she'd seen Cathy, and Kendra and Jayden....Very traumatizing experience...
At the end, the dentist said "Come back!"...Sucks...My whole left side of my face was numb most of the day...
I went at lunch time so I was starving all day...When I was filing...I felt like I was about to pass out...when my angel friend came by and gave me chocolate covered almonds :).
After that Financial Class, to Em's middle of nowhere temporary home...It was a little disorienting to get there but so worth it...I felt so peaceful, the breeze, the smell, everything was so relaxing...Mmmm...so great...Great company, great conversation, great surroundings...
Time for bed...
Monday, June 20, 2011
Short Reflexion on Disagrement and Life
I love it when people disagree with me. It ignites a fire within me. It reconciles me with my beliefs and allows them to surface. Disagreement feeds an idea...It might reshape it or just make it brighter.
As I said goodbye to my friend Angeles, who is leaving to Argentina tomorrow, a heated discussion happened between the group of four people at the house. It centered mainly around religion, touching a few subjects such as Death Penalty and Homosexuality.
Bottom line is, regardless of our beliefs, past and present, we all try to avoid suffering and find happiness. And the way we choose to live life within the context of the limitations imposed by our circumstances should be a quest towards happiness. The realization of such limitations, should provide a certain peace and liberation, in that it provides guidance and moves us a step closer to that goal.
Happiness is a changing path, a never ending one. It is truly fascinating for me...
I have all these thoughts I'd like to write...so freely tangling in my head...And that's how they shall stay...It's too late for me to start writing about happiness and life paths...
Night is when inspiration comes most times for me, so late at night...
At least, I hope I made you think...
As I said goodbye to my friend Angeles, who is leaving to Argentina tomorrow, a heated discussion happened between the group of four people at the house. It centered mainly around religion, touching a few subjects such as Death Penalty and Homosexuality.
Bottom line is, regardless of our beliefs, past and present, we all try to avoid suffering and find happiness. And the way we choose to live life within the context of the limitations imposed by our circumstances should be a quest towards happiness. The realization of such limitations, should provide a certain peace and liberation, in that it provides guidance and moves us a step closer to that goal.
Happiness is a changing path, a never ending one. It is truly fascinating for me...
I have all these thoughts I'd like to write...so freely tangling in my head...And that's how they shall stay...It's too late for me to start writing about happiness and life paths...
Night is when inspiration comes most times for me, so late at night...
At least, I hope I made you think...
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Fibark and the Rain (my natural high)
I'm dreading going to work tomorrow...It's been such a fun weekend and I know there will be tons of work tomorrow, after Fibark weekend...
The parade was great...even though I wasn't truly "proud" of our float...it was fun just to walk it. The girls loved throwing candy (it was not tossing, it was throwing), and they looked so cute in the wagon w their sailor hats...After that we pretty much came home, ate lunch and napped.
The Hooligan Race is the best event of the whole weekend...People are so drunk that, if they lit a match...they'd probably go on fire...The River was the highest I've ever seen it (I've only been here 5 years though)...In our safety talk they said "If you don't know how to swim very well don't go down the river [...] If you are wasted it might not be a good idea to go down either"...Like there was one person w no alcohol in their bloodstream...My friend Emily shared the last beer w me, which was the next (huge)step in our relationship...And there we went downstream...it was a blast, until we hit the bridge...our Styrofoam shark made a pretty loud noise when it split in 2...and nobody (from our team) was there to get us out...we tried a few times to get close to shore but it wasn't happening...so we made the executive decision to let the boat go and hang on to our lives (aka swim to shore)...I wouldn't have mind going to all the way to Canyon City (Home Depot), but I didn't have my debit card with me...Also, the way I looked (shorts wetly attached to thighs) wouldn't have granted me a ride home.
After the race, I went looking for my girlies, left them w Grandma and went home to get changed to go out...The bands were amazing...The music was just awesome...I enjoy live music sooo much...Plus, this women's band made you feel like getting up on stage yourself...I really like dancing but my friend doesn't...That was the only thing...
When I went to pick up my daughters (at an early 11 o'clock), Olivia was wide awake talking with her uncle in the porch...That little girl amazes me...30 lbs of pure energy...
All in all, it was great...I absolutely love being part of events...However, we missed a lot of other events because of it...So. I'm thinking I might do a year of participating and a year of not...or something like that...IT'S ALL ABOUT BALANCE.... (I think that's my new motto)...
Today, we skipped seeing all the hangover/pass out people at the park...and we just stayed home, made a picnic...organized the massive amount of clothes someone gave me for the girls, and had some great one on one time panting w Kyrsten while Olivia was sleeping...
We also went out w our umbrellas to the rain...Feeling the rain...mmmm...I love the rain...and here it doen't rain that much...and I want my kids to enjoy these wonderful natural highs there are...I know rain is not that exciting, but I love it...Don't judge me!
Have a great week everyone!!!
The parade was great...even though I wasn't truly "proud" of our float...it was fun just to walk it. The girls loved throwing candy (it was not tossing, it was throwing), and they looked so cute in the wagon w their sailor hats...After that we pretty much came home, ate lunch and napped.
The Hooligan Race is the best event of the whole weekend...People are so drunk that, if they lit a match...they'd probably go on fire...The River was the highest I've ever seen it (I've only been here 5 years though)...In our safety talk they said "If you don't know how to swim very well don't go down the river [...] If you are wasted it might not be a good idea to go down either"...Like there was one person w no alcohol in their bloodstream...My friend Emily shared the last beer w me, which was the next (huge)step in our relationship...And there we went downstream...it was a blast, until we hit the bridge...our Styrofoam shark made a pretty loud noise when it split in 2...and nobody (from our team) was there to get us out...we tried a few times to get close to shore but it wasn't happening...so we made the executive decision to let the boat go and hang on to our lives (aka swim to shore)...I wouldn't have mind going to all the way to Canyon City (Home Depot), but I didn't have my debit card with me...Also, the way I looked (shorts wetly attached to thighs) wouldn't have granted me a ride home.
After the race, I went looking for my girlies, left them w Grandma and went home to get changed to go out...The bands were amazing...The music was just awesome...I enjoy live music sooo much...Plus, this women's band made you feel like getting up on stage yourself...I really like dancing but my friend doesn't...That was the only thing...
When I went to pick up my daughters (at an early 11 o'clock), Olivia was wide awake talking with her uncle in the porch...That little girl amazes me...30 lbs of pure energy...
All in all, it was great...I absolutely love being part of events...However, we missed a lot of other events because of it...So. I'm thinking I might do a year of participating and a year of not...or something like that...IT'S ALL ABOUT BALANCE.... (I think that's my new motto)...
Today, we skipped seeing all the hangover/pass out people at the park...and we just stayed home, made a picnic...organized the massive amount of clothes someone gave me for the girls, and had some great one on one time panting w Kyrsten while Olivia was sleeping...
We also went out w our umbrellas to the rain...Feeling the rain...mmmm...I love the rain...and here it doen't rain that much...and I want my kids to enjoy these wonderful natural highs there are...I know rain is not that exciting, but I love it...Don't judge me!
Have a great week everyone!!!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
First Day of Fibark!!!
I needed a good end to how bad this week started and...Fibark is here!!!
I picked up the girls, brought them home for a shake and changed our clothes. I held a 5 min (aka forever) discussion w my little stubborn-as-her-mother Olivia about changing into the same dress Kyrsten had (very compelling argument), but I guess taking off her fleece was a non negotiable for her. And she stood her ground. I thought I was teaching her of natural consequences: she was going to get hot, but it was her choice to use the fleece, she also decided to walk without shoes and it was going to be poky...Not for her...No problem...Where did this wild child come from???
Tenderfoot Climb is one of my favorite events of the whole weekend...We watched as everyone raced up and down the mountain...Imagine how discouraged the people that were only half way were feeling when the first ones were coming down already...I would be tumbling down the mountain if I did this...
There'll be live music the whole weekend...which I looooove...
I manage to not spend a penny today, according to plan. Tomorrow, I'm budgeting $10...and on Sat $50, because I'm getting Kyrsten an all day pass and I'm going out...It's a very reasonable amount I think.
At the end, Cathy and Co. were going to eat an ice cream and invited me. However, Olivia was exhausted. I asked them to take Kyrsten and then bring her home. They loved it (and Kyrsten too)
Olivia and I watched some kayaks in the playhole ("Nemo touched the boat"...I think Nemo movie is about to be banned from my house because that's all she says), then we walked home, ate sadwich ice creams in my beautiful yard and had a shower...Spent some nice quality time (eventhough all she kept asking about was her sister)...
OK, going to watch Diane Sawyer (the only news I get) and then to bed...Good Night!
I picked up the girls, brought them home for a shake and changed our clothes. I held a 5 min (aka forever) discussion w my little stubborn-as-her-mother Olivia about changing into the same dress Kyrsten had (very compelling argument), but I guess taking off her fleece was a non negotiable for her. And she stood her ground. I thought I was teaching her of natural consequences: she was going to get hot, but it was her choice to use the fleece, she also decided to walk without shoes and it was going to be poky...Not for her...No problem...Where did this wild child come from???
Tenderfoot Climb is one of my favorite events of the whole weekend...We watched as everyone raced up and down the mountain...Imagine how discouraged the people that were only half way were feeling when the first ones were coming down already...I would be tumbling down the mountain if I did this...
There'll be live music the whole weekend...which I looooove...
I manage to not spend a penny today, according to plan. Tomorrow, I'm budgeting $10...and on Sat $50, because I'm getting Kyrsten an all day pass and I'm going out...It's a very reasonable amount I think.
At the end, Cathy and Co. were going to eat an ice cream and invited me. However, Olivia was exhausted. I asked them to take Kyrsten and then bring her home. They loved it (and Kyrsten too)
Olivia and I watched some kayaks in the playhole ("Nemo touched the boat"...I think Nemo movie is about to be banned from my house because that's all she says), then we walked home, ate sadwich ice creams in my beautiful yard and had a shower...Spent some nice quality time (eventhough all she kept asking about was her sister)...
OK, going to watch Diane Sawyer (the only news I get) and then to bed...Good Night!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
A great day in my ordinary life
I only have 23% batterie left on my computer...so this might be short....
Today I had a great in my very ordinary life...Made a balloon payment (always love to get rid off that money)...a year from now, I'll be under $100,000...that'll be great...I rocked at work more than any day so far, and I'm confident I'll just keep getting better....
I also made dinner for a family today...It made me extremely nervous...I'm the worst cook (and proud to be), but I was cooking for other people...I hope it tured out ok..I really like the leftovers (that didn;t fit in the container). I made my signature (only) recipe: pasta w/ crab, a can of creamy corn, a can of carrots and a can of peas...I love eating pasta w veggies and not sauce...It was yummylicious...
I also just finished half a pint of ice cream while watching extreme weight loss...and enjoyed every taste of it...I wish Chris Powell would come to my house and kick my butt like that...I bet it would feel awesome...He's pretty cute too, so I wouldn't mind him around...
I went to my second Zumba class today and I still can't get why my prodigy latino genes won't kick in and make me coordinate every single step....I keep getting better there too...I seriously need work out clothes though...nothing matched...I hate spending money in workout clothes...but I guess I'll have to...
I also went to watch Maria's hubby play ball again, and ate a hot dog...that was very American...
OK...I'm still recovering for Monday just in time for Fibark weekend here in Salida...it's the biggest weekend of the year here...and It's fun...I'll be going down a very high river...If I die........I can't die cause my kids cant be raised by their father so there we go...It should be a lot of fun...I'm going out on Sat...I haven't gone out on a weekend since new year's...
OK, I'm just rambling..
Have a good night and look at the moon...it's so gorgeous it makes you want to sleep outside...(If only my grass wasn't wet)
Today I had a great in my very ordinary life...Made a balloon payment (always love to get rid off that money)...a year from now, I'll be under $100,000...that'll be great...I rocked at work more than any day so far, and I'm confident I'll just keep getting better....
I also made dinner for a family today...It made me extremely nervous...I'm the worst cook (and proud to be), but I was cooking for other people...I hope it tured out ok..I really like the leftovers (that didn;t fit in the container). I made my signature (only) recipe: pasta w/ crab, a can of creamy corn, a can of carrots and a can of peas...I love eating pasta w veggies and not sauce...It was yummylicious...
I also just finished half a pint of ice cream while watching extreme weight loss...and enjoyed every taste of it...I wish Chris Powell would come to my house and kick my butt like that...I bet it would feel awesome...He's pretty cute too, so I wouldn't mind him around...
I went to my second Zumba class today and I still can't get why my prodigy latino genes won't kick in and make me coordinate every single step....I keep getting better there too...I seriously need work out clothes though...nothing matched...I hate spending money in workout clothes...but I guess I'll have to...
I also went to watch Maria's hubby play ball again, and ate a hot dog...that was very American...
OK...I'm still recovering for Monday just in time for Fibark weekend here in Salida...it's the biggest weekend of the year here...and It's fun...I'll be going down a very high river...If I die........I can't die cause my kids cant be raised by their father so there we go...It should be a lot of fun...I'm going out on Sat...I haven't gone out on a weekend since new year's...
OK, I'm just rambling..
Have a good night and look at the moon...it's so gorgeous it makes you want to sleep outside...(If only my grass wasn't wet)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
The State of Colorado and Michael are jerks...
Today in the morning I was back to my perky self (not my body, that's still the same...My mood)...
I even made the deposit for my balloon payment :)
When I got off work, I went to my Finance class that I'm taking every Tuesday for the Habitat for Humanity Loan...It was so much fun...The guy that gives it knows so much history and finance...I could listen for hours...At the end of the class I asked where was I in terms of the loan, and Sue told me, they already chose a family for this year...My home projects dreams fell to the floor...I hate it when things dont go well because of things that are beyond my control...I was the first application, I turned everything in within a week (paperwork and everything), they told me I was the perfect candidate and because of the dang divorce and the stupid State of Colorado needing 90 days to pass......................................The loan won't happen until next year....That means my roof and pluming and electric...and $15,000 in home repairs will have to wait until next year and it totally sucks....I'm so frustrated..........
I got the girls clothes ready and took them to Michael's appartment...he wouldn't open the door...He told me to leave the clothes on the door and wouldn't tell me how olivia is...not even by message...I don't know what his problem is................I'm so sick of this crap, poor girls....and the State of Colorado that won't let me have full custody.......................DO THEY SEE THIS GUY.....THEY SHOULD HAVE PERFORMED A PENECTOMY ON HIM LONG TIME AGO...That way, his only brain cell would stain at his upper head and think every now and then.............................
ok...im just going a little crazy right now...
TOMORROW HAS TO BE BETTER...
Good Night everyone!!!
Your crazy blogger
Cata
I even made the deposit for my balloon payment :)
When I got off work, I went to my Finance class that I'm taking every Tuesday for the Habitat for Humanity Loan...It was so much fun...The guy that gives it knows so much history and finance...I could listen for hours...At the end of the class I asked where was I in terms of the loan, and Sue told me, they already chose a family for this year...My home projects dreams fell to the floor...I hate it when things dont go well because of things that are beyond my control...I was the first application, I turned everything in within a week (paperwork and everything), they told me I was the perfect candidate and because of the dang divorce and the stupid State of Colorado needing 90 days to pass......................................The loan won't happen until next year....That means my roof and pluming and electric...and $15,000 in home repairs will have to wait until next year and it totally sucks....I'm so frustrated..........
I got the girls clothes ready and took them to Michael's appartment...he wouldn't open the door...He told me to leave the clothes on the door and wouldn't tell me how olivia is...not even by message...I don't know what his problem is................I'm so sick of this crap, poor girls....and the State of Colorado that won't let me have full custody.......................DO THEY SEE THIS GUY.....THEY SHOULD HAVE PERFORMED A PENECTOMY ON HIM LONG TIME AGO...That way, his only brain cell would stain at his upper head and think every now and then.............................
ok...im just going a little crazy right now...
TOMORROW HAS TO BE BETTER...
Good Night everyone!!!
Your crazy blogger
Cata
Monday, June 13, 2011
Murphy's Law day
Today ot (night) at 2.30 am...I wake up to my phone ringing and on the other line Michael telling me he cannot pick up the girls from school in the morning and that I need to call his mom for it...On top of that he admitted to be doing mushrooms...How in the world did I ever marry this guy??? Seriously, I'll never understand...When I met Michael and fell in love with him, I found the fact that he had done drugs (10 years before), a positive (of course, I can't believe it either). I justified it by saying he could tell our kids the dangers and what a bad choice drugs are first hand...
If he falls on that path, I won't be here to watch and my girls don't deserve that either...I'll get a scholarship somewhere and move from this crap...How did I get into this kind of situations...Not in a million years I would have ever thought of meeting a guy as messed up as this, let alone marry him, and coparent??? What in the world?? It can always be worse...but, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE...
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much...I got th girls ready for school, made it in perfect time (that's a first). As I was getting through the door at work, I got a phone call from Olivia's teacher that she couldn't bear weight in her leg...Monday morning, with no sleep, of all days...
Olivia got hurt on a see saw that I've been waiting for the scrap metal guy to take for weeks....she scratched her leg on the back but was walking fine last night...I put some lotion this morning and it might have reminded her of the pain...
I picked her up from school as I was balling...so frustrated at life...She has a daddy at home passed out being useless, and I have to get off work on the craziest day of the week...a new (one and a half month )job in which I already have had 2 emergencies (In my other one I think I had 3 in one and a half year)...I took her to the ER and they were a little concerned she would still not walk for a juice, and they did a hip\leg xray...Everything looked pretty good to the doctor but we'll have to see in the next few days...My 2 year old baby has a sprained muscle...
I took her to Cathy's and ask her to call me when Michael picked them up...She said he looked fine...I will be having a talk with him later...not that words might do much facing addictions but....I have to say my piece...
I got my teeth cleaned (ouchie)...and then stayed at work an extra hour to make up some time...6 pm...yuck...
I went to my friend Angels house and held her baby for her to have peace and he peed on me...which I had no problem with and totally turned my day for the better...it was a nice change...
Ok...I'm emotionally and physically drained so I guess it's time for bed...(specially since the sod is watered :) )
Have a great week, let's share positive thinking...
If he falls on that path, I won't be here to watch and my girls don't deserve that either...I'll get a scholarship somewhere and move from this crap...How did I get into this kind of situations...Not in a million years I would have ever thought of meeting a guy as messed up as this, let alone marry him, and coparent??? What in the world?? It can always be worse...but, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE...
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much...I got th girls ready for school, made it in perfect time (that's a first). As I was getting through the door at work, I got a phone call from Olivia's teacher that she couldn't bear weight in her leg...Monday morning, with no sleep, of all days...
Olivia got hurt on a see saw that I've been waiting for the scrap metal guy to take for weeks....she scratched her leg on the back but was walking fine last night...I put some lotion this morning and it might have reminded her of the pain...
I picked her up from school as I was balling...so frustrated at life...She has a daddy at home passed out being useless, and I have to get off work on the craziest day of the week...a new (one and a half month )job in which I already have had 2 emergencies (In my other one I think I had 3 in one and a half year)...I took her to the ER and they were a little concerned she would still not walk for a juice, and they did a hip\leg xray...Everything looked pretty good to the doctor but we'll have to see in the next few days...My 2 year old baby has a sprained muscle...
I took her to Cathy's and ask her to call me when Michael picked them up...She said he looked fine...I will be having a talk with him later...not that words might do much facing addictions but....I have to say my piece...
I got my teeth cleaned (ouchie)...and then stayed at work an extra hour to make up some time...6 pm...yuck...
I went to my friend Angels house and held her baby for her to have peace and he peed on me...which I had no problem with and totally turned my day for the better...it was a nice change...
Ok...I'm emotionally and physically drained so I guess it's time for bed...(specially since the sod is watered :) )
Have a great week, let's share positive thinking...
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Mini golf and mini dilemma
I went to play mini golf today with Cathy and Kendra (Michael's sister who's about to pop any day now). First time for the kids...they pretty much only played 2 holes and then grabbed our golf balls and put them in...It was fun anyways...I made a hole in one, a really good one. I don't think I am very competitive but I like to win...so, a little...
We also went for ice cream..there was vanilla, chocolate and mixed. The girls were wearing white dresses so...Chocolate for Kyrsten (she's becoming harder to deceive these days), white chocolate for Olivia ;) and mixed for me..No messes, Fun times!!!
Michael approached me today about having a night a week in which we each only have one of them to give them good one on one time. I've suggested this before, I guess men have to feel like they come up with things themselves. It's a great idea (specially because I had it).
I have an awesome person offering to help me build a fence...a gorgeous fence...I really want to, but it would totally wipe me out...And I'm used to be wiped out...but I guess I don't know what I should do...I feel like I'm asking sooo much...Being a grown up...making decisions...Finding the balance between accepting help and asking too much...
OK, I'm pooped...My back hurts like crazy...I guess this is how it feels to get old...
Oh yes! I might have another first date in the horizon...I'm starting to get tired of first dates...I guess you need first dates to go to second dates....We'll see...
We also went for ice cream..there was vanilla, chocolate and mixed. The girls were wearing white dresses so...Chocolate for Kyrsten (she's becoming harder to deceive these days), white chocolate for Olivia ;) and mixed for me..No messes, Fun times!!!
Michael approached me today about having a night a week in which we each only have one of them to give them good one on one time. I've suggested this before, I guess men have to feel like they come up with things themselves. It's a great idea (specially because I had it).
I have an awesome person offering to help me build a fence...a gorgeous fence...I really want to, but it would totally wipe me out...And I'm used to be wiped out...but I guess I don't know what I should do...I feel like I'm asking sooo much...Being a grown up...making decisions...Finding the balance between accepting help and asking too much...
OK, I'm pooped...My back hurts like crazy...I guess this is how it feels to get old...
Oh yes! I might have another first date in the horizon...I'm starting to get tired of first dates...I guess you need first dates to go to second dates....We'll see...
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Thank you!!!
I started the day in a bad mood, after an email from the mediator saying that the court would probably asks us to submit everything again because they were some things that were crossed of and changed (aka...I did his job to mediate myself and Michael and didn't need to pay anybody $400). Lunch with my friend Emily got me in a much better mood :).
Then, to the Court house, for the 100th time...People on the phone have not been helpful and I have a lady there that has helped me a lot so I went by. I asked if we could initial next to everything that was changed and she said that was fine, and that's what the mediator makes people do...(see?? all by myself). I called Michael and he came right away (I love it when he collaborates)...So, that's done! We have our final hearing for D day on August 1st...one year later...how crazy!!!
Nobody's died in my family (knock on wood), nothing tragic has happened...but yet, so much people are helping me...Sometimes people that barely know me...The tittle and escrow lady didn't charge me a thing and she gave me some great advice about other "legal" things...The lady at the courthouse has answered a ton of questions and moved forward the hearing date without much problem :), my new friends Emily and Bryan have offered to help me with so many things (from figuring out a fence to moving the ground for sod, to preparing a Spanish class), my other friend Emily and her hubby have offered helping me put trim, tile and even fix the garage, Maria came and helped me grout and paint my kitchen table and chairs, my ex brother in law brought me a new bed (from the furniture place he works for) and has offered to do the stucco in my house for free as long as I get the materials, and the list goes on and on...It's crazy!!! God Bless those angels we meet in our path!!!
I truly don't think I deserve all this help. I'm extremely thankful to all these people and so happy to live where I do with so many amazing human beings. There's so much support in my life, so much encouragement and so much help. It's heartwarming.
"Salida, let the memories begin at the place where dreams come true"
Thank you people!!!!
Cata
Then, to the Court house, for the 100th time...People on the phone have not been helpful and I have a lady there that has helped me a lot so I went by. I asked if we could initial next to everything that was changed and she said that was fine, and that's what the mediator makes people do...(see?? all by myself). I called Michael and he came right away (I love it when he collaborates)...So, that's done! We have our final hearing for D day on August 1st...one year later...how crazy!!!
Nobody's died in my family (knock on wood), nothing tragic has happened...but yet, so much people are helping me...Sometimes people that barely know me...The tittle and escrow lady didn't charge me a thing and she gave me some great advice about other "legal" things...The lady at the courthouse has answered a ton of questions and moved forward the hearing date without much problem :), my new friends Emily and Bryan have offered to help me with so many things (from figuring out a fence to moving the ground for sod, to preparing a Spanish class), my other friend Emily and her hubby have offered helping me put trim, tile and even fix the garage, Maria came and helped me grout and paint my kitchen table and chairs, my ex brother in law brought me a new bed (from the furniture place he works for) and has offered to do the stucco in my house for free as long as I get the materials, and the list goes on and on...It's crazy!!! God Bless those angels we meet in our path!!!
I truly don't think I deserve all this help. I'm extremely thankful to all these people and so happy to live where I do with so many amazing human beings. There's so much support in my life, so much encouragement and so much help. It's heartwarming.
"Salida, let the memories begin at the place where dreams come true"
Thank you people!!!!
Cata
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Dancing the dance of life
I'd been playing with the idea of going to Zumba for about a year but I never have enough money for myself to do things like that...Maria going, and having errands to do during my lunches this week (aka not much excercise)...pushed me to finally start today...I must admit that, despite the warnings, I went thinking I could keep up...And I was a little wrong...I'm sure I did really good for my first class but my latino head still can't wrap itself around the fact that It didn't all just come natural to my body...
I haven't done an aerobics/dance class like this in probably 10 years but still...I'm from South America, I love to salsa...It was awesome anyways, and I'm going next week (and the week after that)...
I'm eating snow peas instead of ice cream....I think I'm going to try to do sweets every other day, instead of every day...maybe I'll lose a bit of thighs that way...eventhough chicken legs are pretty standard in my family...I shall try...I'll keep you posted...
I went to the dentist today. I hate to go to the dentist more than anywhere in the whole world...I love North America, but the fact that it takes 3 appointments to fix to small cavities drives me crazy...In Argentina, you can get a full mouth of veneers in one appointment...I asked to go to work later today and I was one and a half hours later than my normal time, which annoys me...I totally rocked today though, I think it's my best day so far....What can I say? I function under pressure...
I better get get off my robe and get dressed to go to a softball game to watch Maria's husband...(I know: too much sharing...)
Have an awesome night!!!
I haven't done an aerobics/dance class like this in probably 10 years but still...I'm from South America, I love to salsa...It was awesome anyways, and I'm going next week (and the week after that)...
I'm eating snow peas instead of ice cream....I think I'm going to try to do sweets every other day, instead of every day...maybe I'll lose a bit of thighs that way...eventhough chicken legs are pretty standard in my family...I shall try...I'll keep you posted...
I went to the dentist today. I hate to go to the dentist more than anywhere in the whole world...I love North America, but the fact that it takes 3 appointments to fix to small cavities drives me crazy...In Argentina, you can get a full mouth of veneers in one appointment...I asked to go to work later today and I was one and a half hours later than my normal time, which annoys me...I totally rocked today though, I think it's my best day so far....What can I say? I function under pressure...
I better get get off my robe and get dressed to go to a softball game to watch Maria's husband...(I know: too much sharing...)
Have an awesome night!!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
American Debtful System and Discussing
One of the main reasons I work out, other than to be in shape, is to balance my candy intake. I didn't get a chance to work out today...I'm doing Zumba tomorrow...So I think I can eat hagen daas dulce de leche ice cream...I think it's a great idea, since I'm going to the dentist tomorrow morning...I just wanted to get my guilt out...
OKAY...my main concern of the days...My italian blood is flowing very passionately right now..(poor keyboard)
I started a Finance class today, and got into a heated discussion with the teacher. At some point, I just point blank asked "Convince me of having a FICO score"....I'm sorry, I don't get it...I managed the almost-miracle of buying a house and a car, plus doing some college, without needing to get bank loans and you want me to play with fire and work on a credit score...
My point was, instead of working on building credit, I should work on different savings accounts to make sure I'm prepared. Instead of having to run to someone who will steal my money to borrow theirs, which people shouldn't be doing anyways...People should just pay things in cash...Now, I know it is impossible for everybody (and most people) to buy everything in cash, specially a house...Nevertheless, if I have managed to do so, and I'm trying to avoid debt altogether once my house is paid of in 6 and a half years, WHY DO I WANT TO GET IN THE SYSTEM???!!!
I guess in case of an emergency...that's were I agreed to agree...I still don't buy it...I'm so stubborn, I see it, but still doesn't make total sense to me...
At the end of the class I asked the teacher if she had been irritated (or sth of the sort) by my constant rebottle to which she replied that I was so energetic, and pretty and young, that she loved me already. I take that offensively (Yes, I'm fisty today)...Does that mean that because I'm pretty (or she perceived me that way), it won't matter what comes out of my passionate mouth?? "You don't need to be smart because you are pretty" or "you are smart" (aka you are ok not being pretty)... I just think my argument power is way more appealing than any physical aspect of me, eventhough I haven't argued like this in a while...I really need to get back in the classroom to argue...Love the academic environment...Online classes are very convinient but they don't provide much of that and I need it...Specially since I'm not discussing much of anything with anybody this days at work (or in many other places)...I wish people wouldn't feel cohibited when someone argues...It sparks me up...and if people felt strongly about their point, they should feel exhiliarated to get to discuss it...I guess not everyone likes to discuss...
Discussion is something amazing...exchange that should make you question what you believe in and either change your mind or feel stronger about what you think... Whole scientific truths that we believed in for hundreds of years have been totally reshaped in just years. Nowadays, to the question "Do we know the truth now?" scientists answer "We know that we are closer to he truth". A discussion might not change your mind, however it should bring you closer to YOUR truth.
I guess now that I've let some fumes out it's time to go for ice cream and be sweet again...
I hope I got you thinking... ;)
OKAY...my main concern of the days...My italian blood is flowing very passionately right now..(poor keyboard)
I started a Finance class today, and got into a heated discussion with the teacher. At some point, I just point blank asked "Convince me of having a FICO score"....I'm sorry, I don't get it...I managed the almost-miracle of buying a house and a car, plus doing some college, without needing to get bank loans and you want me to play with fire and work on a credit score...
My point was, instead of working on building credit, I should work on different savings accounts to make sure I'm prepared. Instead of having to run to someone who will steal my money to borrow theirs, which people shouldn't be doing anyways...People should just pay things in cash...Now, I know it is impossible for everybody (and most people) to buy everything in cash, specially a house...Nevertheless, if I have managed to do so, and I'm trying to avoid debt altogether once my house is paid of in 6 and a half years, WHY DO I WANT TO GET IN THE SYSTEM???!!!
I guess in case of an emergency...that's were I agreed to agree...I still don't buy it...I'm so stubborn, I see it, but still doesn't make total sense to me...
At the end of the class I asked the teacher if she had been irritated (or sth of the sort) by my constant rebottle to which she replied that I was so energetic, and pretty and young, that she loved me already. I take that offensively (Yes, I'm fisty today)...Does that mean that because I'm pretty (or she perceived me that way), it won't matter what comes out of my passionate mouth?? "You don't need to be smart because you are pretty" or "you are smart" (aka you are ok not being pretty)... I just think my argument power is way more appealing than any physical aspect of me, eventhough I haven't argued like this in a while...I really need to get back in the classroom to argue...Love the academic environment...Online classes are very convinient but they don't provide much of that and I need it...Specially since I'm not discussing much of anything with anybody this days at work (or in many other places)...I wish people wouldn't feel cohibited when someone argues...It sparks me up...and if people felt strongly about their point, they should feel exhiliarated to get to discuss it...I guess not everyone likes to discuss...
Discussion is something amazing...exchange that should make you question what you believe in and either change your mind or feel stronger about what you think... Whole scientific truths that we believed in for hundreds of years have been totally reshaped in just years. Nowadays, to the question "Do we know the truth now?" scientists answer "We know that we are closer to he truth". A discussion might not change your mind, however it should bring you closer to YOUR truth.
I guess now that I've let some fumes out it's time to go for ice cream and be sweet again...
I hope I got you thinking... ;)
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Online banking and parenting belong in the same post...That's my mind for you!
Online Banking is such an awesome thing...I don't ever have money but my bills are always paid. As soon as I get them, I schedule a payment online to when I get my next paycheck and...I never see my money...It comes in and out the same day...wonderful, isn't it??? At least I don't have to hang on to them or see them taped in the fridge, send checks and stamps, and I even file them w the transaction number on :) (efficient)...I don't think about it much anymore...
Me and money don't bond too much...In fact, I opened my account today to schedule some payments and saw too much money. I then realized my sod check hadn't been cashed yet...optical illusions checks provide until they are cashed...I don't even balance check books anymore, to be honest. I just make sure the checks I write get cashed and that's all...
I had a "aha" moment today...I was laying on the sod (that's where I spend most of my time now), soaking up the moment, watching the girls play kitties w my friend Maria and she asked "are you going to be kitties all day??" and Kyrsten said "Yes, like a dream"...This kind of phrases amaze me...and what parent doesn't like their child's dream coming true (as many as they might be and they will change)...
She was telling everybody in the store, and the neighbors, that we bought yogurth yesterday, so excited "My mommy bought me yogurth at walmart" (We buy yogurth every time)...
It so great that scars are so superficial they get cured w special lotion, that awies get calmed down with kisses, that yogurth and pretend kitty playing are dreams reached, that "I love yous" and kisses are the order of every day, that their heartbreaks are so easily forgotten about...I'm scared for independence, for the years to come, for the realities they will learn about, for the facts (true and not) that will shake their thoughts and start wearing off their innocence. There's a phrase that goes "To be a parent is to know your heart will always be walking on another body"...Toughest job on earth, and most rewarding...
Wow, from online banking to parenting...keep you guessing...
Good Night!!!
Me and money don't bond too much...In fact, I opened my account today to schedule some payments and saw too much money. I then realized my sod check hadn't been cashed yet...optical illusions checks provide until they are cashed...I don't even balance check books anymore, to be honest. I just make sure the checks I write get cashed and that's all...
I had a "aha" moment today...I was laying on the sod (that's where I spend most of my time now), soaking up the moment, watching the girls play kitties w my friend Maria and she asked "are you going to be kitties all day??" and Kyrsten said "Yes, like a dream"...This kind of phrases amaze me...and what parent doesn't like their child's dream coming true (as many as they might be and they will change)...
She was telling everybody in the store, and the neighbors, that we bought yogurth yesterday, so excited "My mommy bought me yogurth at walmart" (We buy yogurth every time)...
It so great that scars are so superficial they get cured w special lotion, that awies get calmed down with kisses, that yogurth and pretend kitty playing are dreams reached, that "I love yous" and kisses are the order of every day, that their heartbreaks are so easily forgotten about...I'm scared for independence, for the years to come, for the realities they will learn about, for the facts (true and not) that will shake their thoughts and start wearing off their innocence. There's a phrase that goes "To be a parent is to know your heart will always be walking on another body"...Toughest job on earth, and most rewarding...
Wow, from online banking to parenting...keep you guessing...
Good Night!!!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
First Spanish Class
I woke up today with my littlest screaming...She had just peed and she had a horrible rush...I made an appointment immediately and took her to the doctor. He said that it was just a diaper rush and gave me some special ointment. I showed him what I had been putting on her, vitamin A (lotion from Argentina that I use for everything), and he said that makes it worse, that locks the moisture (duh...)...I can't beliueve I made it worse...She's naked in my house all day, I think that's helped a lot...Poor thing!!!
I have been staying up pretty late...I just play around in the computer, nothing special...I like the peace I guess...And then I'm so tired during the day...bad bad me.
Last night, I stayed up finishing details for my Spanish for Kiddos class who started today...for the class, I made up 2 songs and a game...it all needs to be related so I consider that very creative of me. Specially since I always was trying to grow up and, therefore, didn't do much playing...I also had a hard time going to bed because I was so nervous about it...
I have never taught more than one kid at a time, and never this little...I think everything went really well, except for I was done by 30 minutes and I felt everything took it's appropiate time...We did some playing later, which I think is good. They all thanked me, which was very sweet, but one of the mom's thanked me like I was providing an exceptional service to the community. That was very humbling.
I really enjoyed it and I think the parents enjoyed it a lot too...The kids are not sure yet :)...
My new friend's husband came after class to measure my yard to help me figure out how much it would be for a fence, which would also help w the class. Plus, people that drive by and neighbors wouldn't think I am so weird for bonding with my sod. I'm very excited but very nervous because it is very possible I can't afford it and that would be very sad...
Ok, you can really tell I am tired by my wonderful expressiveness...
Sleep tight!
Cata
I have been staying up pretty late...I just play around in the computer, nothing special...I like the peace I guess...And then I'm so tired during the day...bad bad me.
Last night, I stayed up finishing details for my Spanish for Kiddos class who started today...for the class, I made up 2 songs and a game...it all needs to be related so I consider that very creative of me. Specially since I always was trying to grow up and, therefore, didn't do much playing...I also had a hard time going to bed because I was so nervous about it...
I have never taught more than one kid at a time, and never this little...I think everything went really well, except for I was done by 30 minutes and I felt everything took it's appropiate time...We did some playing later, which I think is good. They all thanked me, which was very sweet, but one of the mom's thanked me like I was providing an exceptional service to the community. That was very humbling.
I really enjoyed it and I think the parents enjoyed it a lot too...The kids are not sure yet :)...
My new friend's husband came after class to measure my yard to help me figure out how much it would be for a fence, which would also help w the class. Plus, people that drive by and neighbors wouldn't think I am so weird for bonding with my sod. I'm very excited but very nervous because it is very possible I can't afford it and that would be very sad...
Ok, you can really tell I am tired by my wonderful expressiveness...
Sleep tight!
Cata
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Instead of being a muse I'm just amusing (sometimes)
I have listened to this super romantic song "I wouldn't be a man" 5 times in a row now....I think that's why men that can play instruments (or write) are so attractive...To think you could be a muse to a song or poem (or letter)...[sight]...What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic... However, in a more realistic view, I just find a lot of pleassure in asking (or answering) questions that are not the "average" to any person I might just be having very light conversation with. I love to throw people of and make them think. To find that essence of who they are, which they sometimes haven't thought about.
Great guy from last night called me "out of his league" (I think proclaiming myself as a nerd was the charm). That's pretty crazy. First of all I've never been called that, it's very flattering and categorically untrue. I don't think anybody is out of anybody's league. People that don't match, yes. But, people can complement each other or just be different sometimes. What do you think???
I had a beer w my neighbors today. My first beer of the summer. Yes, I don't drink that much. I think having been married to an alcoholic makes it unappealling. Plus, I dehydrated myself a lot for a few years of my life when I was young. Now I just drink less and really enjoy it. Why do people have wine fridges??? You are suppose to drink wine at room temperature...It's a sin not to...The blue light make it look cool.
Ok, now I'm just rambling...
There's my thoughts of the day...I'm not blonde in case you wonder...
Great guy from last night called me "out of his league" (I think proclaiming myself as a nerd was the charm). That's pretty crazy. First of all I've never been called that, it's very flattering and categorically untrue. I don't think anybody is out of anybody's league. People that don't match, yes. But, people can complement each other or just be different sometimes. What do you think???
I had a beer w my neighbors today. My first beer of the summer. Yes, I don't drink that much. I think having been married to an alcoholic makes it unappealling. Plus, I dehydrated myself a lot for a few years of my life when I was young. Now I just drink less and really enjoy it. Why do people have wine fridges??? You are suppose to drink wine at room temperature...It's a sin not to...The blue light make it look cool.
Ok, now I'm just rambling...
There's my thoughts of the day...I'm not blonde in case you wonder...
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Date
It's 10 pm and I just got home. I had a great time tonight...This is what I love about set up dates:
Would I go out again with him??? It doesn't matter because he lives in Denver...Second guy...I guess there's more fish in Denver's fish pond...Do my children know that I'm sacrificing my love life (not) for them???
I guess I broke my one-date-every-4 months pattern...Maybe it'll pick up from now on. Or maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up. I guess I really don't care that much. But it was a lot of fun!!!
I have been on 4 dates in the last year...and I think I've learned some about dating, myself and how to just chill but also kind of decide whether I care to spend more time or not with this person. Nobody's made it to the second date but (maybe) it's getting closer to someday happening :). Nothing wrong with knowing what you want and don't want, right? I hope I'm not being too quick to judge...I just think I know what I want and don't want, I'll keep telling myself that.
So, dating, here I keep coming!!!
- There's other people to also talk to, and warm up.
- You don't have to dress up or look too good (eventhough we know I always do...dress up AND look good) because nobody will.
- No ackward "door" moments.
- No need to ask the obvious questions and getting a chance to know different stuff that you wouldn't normally get to know on a date.
- Spend time with friends too.
Would I go out again with him??? It doesn't matter because he lives in Denver...Second guy...I guess there's more fish in Denver's fish pond...Do my children know that I'm sacrificing my love life (not) for them???
I guess I broke my one-date-every-4 months pattern...Maybe it'll pick up from now on. Or maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up. I guess I really don't care that much. But it was a lot of fun!!!
I have been on 4 dates in the last year...and I think I've learned some about dating, myself and how to just chill but also kind of decide whether I care to spend more time or not with this person. Nobody's made it to the second date but (maybe) it's getting closer to someday happening :). Nothing wrong with knowing what you want and don't want, right? I hope I'm not being too quick to judge...I just think I know what I want and don't want, I'll keep telling myself that.
So, dating, here I keep coming!!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
It keeps getting better
It's almost 11 pm and I'm all wired up from finishing a home project. I have issues...I admit it.
Today, my amazing friend Maria came to my house to sit in my new lawn :) and help me put grout in the porche (after 6 months of just tiles)...Sometimes you just need friends to push you a little to do the things you can do. I feel so accomplished and it's all that much special that we now can always look at it and know we did it together!!!
I forgot what a pain it is to clean up the tile after grouting, and even more with porous tile...But it's done and I'm super excited there's a room in the house that is finished (even if it's the porche).
After a week of projects it is extremely hard to catch up w the laundry...I try to keep up w it because I don't particularly enjoy when it piles up and I have to do it all together. However, between sod, cleaning for yard sales and grouting, my laundry has suffered. I've folded it all and tomorrow -between getting of work and getting ready for a BBQ/date- I'll have to put it away. Hopefully Mary Poppins will come and put it all away by magic.
Yes, I have a date tomorrow. Sort of. It's barbeque and there will be more people, which should make it easier. I still think getting set up is a good idea, except for the fact that the people setting me up seem to get a lot of expectations and anxiety which might not be good for their health. Meanwhile, I feel relaxed and unpressured because there will be other people and not just one to stare at :P. I'll keep you posted.
I have Pandora on. I love it. I have realized I am a much better person when I have music on. I'm a better mom too. It difuses my tension. Plus, I love to sing and dance (fast and slow) with myself, my cleaning utencils and my children.
I've been smiling a lot lately, I think I'm just happy. Period. It's a waste of time not to be...There's so many beautiful things in this world...Honest, that's what I feel.
OK, go be happy people, and smile, it takes 28 muscles as opposed to the 37 to frown...Now relax your faces and go face the world!!!
Today, my amazing friend Maria came to my house to sit in my new lawn :) and help me put grout in the porche (after 6 months of just tiles)...Sometimes you just need friends to push you a little to do the things you can do. I feel so accomplished and it's all that much special that we now can always look at it and know we did it together!!!
I forgot what a pain it is to clean up the tile after grouting, and even more with porous tile...But it's done and I'm super excited there's a room in the house that is finished (even if it's the porche).
After a week of projects it is extremely hard to catch up w the laundry...I try to keep up w it because I don't particularly enjoy when it piles up and I have to do it all together. However, between sod, cleaning for yard sales and grouting, my laundry has suffered. I've folded it all and tomorrow -between getting of work and getting ready for a BBQ/date- I'll have to put it away. Hopefully Mary Poppins will come and put it all away by magic.
Yes, I have a date tomorrow. Sort of. It's barbeque and there will be more people, which should make it easier. I still think getting set up is a good idea, except for the fact that the people setting me up seem to get a lot of expectations and anxiety which might not be good for their health. Meanwhile, I feel relaxed and unpressured because there will be other people and not just one to stare at :P. I'll keep you posted.
I have Pandora on. I love it. I have realized I am a much better person when I have music on. I'm a better mom too. It difuses my tension. Plus, I love to sing and dance (fast and slow) with myself, my cleaning utencils and my children.
I've been smiling a lot lately, I think I'm just happy. Period. It's a waste of time not to be...There's so many beautiful things in this world...Honest, that's what I feel.
OK, go be happy people, and smile, it takes 28 muscles as opposed to the 37 to frown...Now relax your faces and go face the world!!!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Causing world wars over water happen faster
I probably spent more water today, than I spend in a month...between 4 showers (three potty training accidents), one bath, the dishwasher, 3 loads of laundry...and (the bulk of it) finishing the patches on the grass and watering it tonight....I'm using up the water of the world... But it looks so wonderful I barely feel guilty about it...I will be laying down on that sucker all summer long...I love it!!!
Have you ever had perfect air dried hair??? When you are not going out, you are in your jammies and not in a hurry or nothing??? I had that today...It was probably because I had to use my daughter's 2 in one shampoo, because I forgot to bring a new conditioner from the other bathroom...I can't stop looking at myself (jk) but it makes me a little mad...Not that I worry too much about my hair (I probably do my hair once a week), but it's interesting that this always happens either when you are not going out of your house or when you are about to go to bed...
Olivia didn't get a nap, which meant she was exhausted and falling asleep as I got her jammies on...Her jammies must have caffeine in them because as soon as I finished getting them on she went from zombie to wide open owl eyes...and talking up a storm...What posessed my sweet little child who was so beautifully sleepy??? I finally took both of them to sleep and did the book-prayer-song-kisses routine, and Olivia only got out of bed 3 times (which is amazing)...and fell asleep right away....Maybe there will be a day when I don't have to close my doors and turn off he lights for half an hour every night so that my baby understands that Businesses are closed until tomorrow...
Ok, time to go to bed w perfect hair :P
Have you ever had perfect air dried hair??? When you are not going out, you are in your jammies and not in a hurry or nothing??? I had that today...It was probably because I had to use my daughter's 2 in one shampoo, because I forgot to bring a new conditioner from the other bathroom...I can't stop looking at myself (jk) but it makes me a little mad...Not that I worry too much about my hair (I probably do my hair once a week), but it's interesting that this always happens either when you are not going out of your house or when you are about to go to bed...
Olivia didn't get a nap, which meant she was exhausted and falling asleep as I got her jammies on...Her jammies must have caffeine in them because as soon as I finished getting them on she went from zombie to wide open owl eyes...and talking up a storm...What posessed my sweet little child who was so beautifully sleepy??? I finally took both of them to sleep and did the book-prayer-song-kisses routine, and Olivia only got out of bed 3 times (which is amazing)...and fell asleep right away....Maybe there will be a day when I don't have to close my doors and turn off he lights for half an hour every night so that my baby understands that Businesses are closed until tomorrow...
Ok, time to go to bed w perfect hair :P
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Today, the grass is greener on my side
Today, I set my alarm clock at 7 for a busy day. I got up and started putting prices on stuff, got ready, got the kids ready and took my first load to my friend's house. I went to get Michael to get his butt out of bed, which turned out to be quite an ordeal, since he'd been out until sooooo late last night...Sometimes you just have to make things happen. We came and got some stuff from the garage, and headed over to Em's house again...Came back to get the last thing, which took forever. By the time I got back to the yard sale, I was full blown irritated... I only sold about 4 things and made $40, which is less than I expected but more than I would have probably gotten, because I'm usually just donating it all...Plus, I donated all my stuff to another yard sale, which is to benefit a family and that's trully amazing.
Michael took the girls and was going to find out how much grass would be...A few hours later he was still not back, which was a good sign.
I came home to more than half a yard full of grass!!!! I got right into helping...and most of the yard is done (just the patches in the sides are left)...It looks huge to me, just because a 4th of the yard wasn't usable at all before and now it is...
(Story) Long time ago, when I lived at my mother in law's house and when I moved to a house with a yard full of trash, I used to go to parks to take my shoes off and feel the grass...That's how much I love grass!!!! I'm so so so excited to have it all over the yard!!!
My daughters don't have to be saying "ouch, ouch" when they walk...We even played tag, and hide and seek and just run around...This is the American dream right here...
I can lay down and look at the stars at this woderful summer nights...I love it!!!
I'm debating whether to get the garage done, do the grass in the front yard or see if I can get my fence...I guess right now I'm leaning towards the fence...It would be huge to have that done...I guess I just need to get some pricing and design things...Very exciting!!! How come money doesn't multiply???
Bottom line is, whenever I stop to think about projects...I've done so many things with my very limited income...I'm so proud...Slowly but surely...things are getting done around here and not a month goes by that I don't improve something...It's so great!!!
Ok, I'll be sleeping inside, just because the grass is wet (oh yeah! I have to take care of my children too)
Michael took the girls and was going to find out how much grass would be...A few hours later he was still not back, which was a good sign.
I came home to more than half a yard full of grass!!!! I got right into helping...and most of the yard is done (just the patches in the sides are left)...It looks huge to me, just because a 4th of the yard wasn't usable at all before and now it is...
(Story) Long time ago, when I lived at my mother in law's house and when I moved to a house with a yard full of trash, I used to go to parks to take my shoes off and feel the grass...That's how much I love grass!!!! I'm so so so excited to have it all over the yard!!!
My daughters don't have to be saying "ouch, ouch" when they walk...We even played tag, and hide and seek and just run around...This is the American dream right here...
I can lay down and look at the stars at this woderful summer nights...I love it!!!
I'm debating whether to get the garage done, do the grass in the front yard or see if I can get my fence...I guess right now I'm leaning towards the fence...It would be huge to have that done...I guess I just need to get some pricing and design things...Very exciting!!! How come money doesn't multiply???
Bottom line is, whenever I stop to think about projects...I've done so many things with my very limited income...I'm so proud...Slowly but surely...things are getting done around here and not a month goes by that I don't improve something...It's so great!!!
Ok, I'll be sleeping inside, just because the grass is wet (oh yeah! I have to take care of my children too)
Friday, May 27, 2011
Yard Sale and Yard
I had dinner at Cathy's house (Michael's mom) and then head home...I started cleaning up the yard like a mad woman.
Tomorrow, Michael is supposed to lay the sod while I'm doing a yard sale. Since I won't be here to suppervise and to make things go faster and smoother, I cleaned the yard. This is a yard that got cleaned up from trash, 2 years ago when we bought the house...But the leaves and one corner that had woods and stuff hadn't been touched in who knows how long...Everything I couldn't throw away (because it didn't fit) got piled up to be throw away little by little in my 55 gallon weekly trash...That way, Michael doesn't go "around" things with the sod...
I love grass so much (and not the smoking kind) that I want it in every corner possible...so I cleaned it up to make it real simple...There were woods and pipes in the corners. Some had been there so long, part of them had desintegrated...there were a few tires, and bricks that got piled up...It's amazing how hard I can work when I have tons to do (aka yard sale tomorrow, garage to be cleaned, did I mention children?)...
I really hope Michael wakes up tomorrow. That's a tough one...he usually drinks hard on Fridays (and Saturdays thru Thursdays too)...I hope since the grass is already ordered he'll get up...Plus, he needs to help me load up some stuff in his truck for the yard sale.
I'm excited about tomorrow, it should be a productive day...I love those!!!
I hope you have a great productive weekend!!!
Tomorrow, Michael is supposed to lay the sod while I'm doing a yard sale. Since I won't be here to suppervise and to make things go faster and smoother, I cleaned the yard. This is a yard that got cleaned up from trash, 2 years ago when we bought the house...But the leaves and one corner that had woods and stuff hadn't been touched in who knows how long...Everything I couldn't throw away (because it didn't fit) got piled up to be throw away little by little in my 55 gallon weekly trash...That way, Michael doesn't go "around" things with the sod...
I love grass so much (and not the smoking kind) that I want it in every corner possible...so I cleaned it up to make it real simple...There were woods and pipes in the corners. Some had been there so long, part of them had desintegrated...there were a few tires, and bricks that got piled up...It's amazing how hard I can work when I have tons to do (aka yard sale tomorrow, garage to be cleaned, did I mention children?)...
I really hope Michael wakes up tomorrow. That's a tough one...he usually drinks hard on Fridays (and Saturdays thru Thursdays too)...I hope since the grass is already ordered he'll get up...Plus, he needs to help me load up some stuff in his truck for the yard sale.
I'm excited about tomorrow, it should be a productive day...I love those!!!
I hope you have a great productive weekend!!!
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