I'm a romantic but a love skeptical person

"It’s the best when the ordinary is extraordinary, I think. There’s this Italian renaissance way of being romantic: they call it ‘sprezzatura’. Which is where you try to be as romantic as possible – but through your ordinary life. There’s so much more magic in the ordinary. Life isn’t all, like, fireworks. Romantic things come from inside you.” Quote from Ames Brown(The Bachelorette)....
Who would have known there would be any brain activity involving The Bachelorette???
I think I like this phrase so much because I am such a romantic...I'm skeptical at love but I'll always be a romantic...A walking contradiction, that's me...Not complicated, amazingly complex...I like to think that, after the grand gestures fade...people try to make the effort in the simple things...every day...This phrase means a life of romance...Big dreams??? I don't think so...all about the little things...
"[My guru] says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you are fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it."
I copied this quote from my sister's facebook...It reminds you not to sit and wait for happiness to strike you, to go search for it, live it, think it...strive for it...
I challenge you to change your life and move closer to happiness...
I think...I know if I hadn't gotten divorced I wouldn't be this happy...I had a bit of an argument w my sister today about having a divorce party and that I shouldn't be celebrating that..."A little over the top"...I think I am just genuinely happy, and it's totally me to throw a divorce party...I'm not trying to get attention...I'm just celebrating being at peace, having balance, being happy...and divorcing Michael made all that happen...and it took a lot of soul searching, courage, and humility...but I got divorced and now I'm the happiest I have ever been...
I hope you find true happiness :) in the simple things

Thank you!!!

I started the day in a bad mood, after an email from the mediator saying that the court would probably asks us to submit everything again because they were some things that were crossed of and changed (aka...I did his job to mediate myself and Michael and didn't need to pay anybody $400). Lunch with my friend Emily got me in a much better mood :).
Then, to the Court house, for the 100th time...People on the phone have not been helpful and I have a lady there that has helped me a lot so I went by. I asked if we could initial next to everything that was changed and she said that was fine, and that's what the mediator makes people do...(see?? all by myself). I called Michael and he came right away (I love it when he collaborates)...So, that's done! We have our final hearing for D day on August 1st...one year later...how crazy!!!
Nobody's died in my family (knock on wood), nothing tragic has happened...but yet, so much people are helping me...Sometimes people that barely know me...The tittle and escrow lady didn't charge me a thing and she gave me some great advice about other "legal" things...The lady at the courthouse has answered a ton of questions and moved forward the hearing date without much problem :), my new friends Emily and Bryan have offered to help me with so many things (from figuring out a fence to moving the ground for sod, to preparing a Spanish class), my other friend Emily and her hubby have offered helping me put trim, tile and even fix the garage, Maria came and helped me grout and paint my kitchen table and chairs, my ex brother in law brought me a new bed (from the furniture place he works for) and has offered to do the stucco in my house for free as long as I get the materials, and the list goes on and on...It's crazy!!! God Bless those angels we meet in our path!!!
I truly don't think I deserve all this help. I'm extremely thankful to all these people and so happy to live where I do with so many amazing human beings. There's so much support in my life, so much encouragement and so much help. It's heartwarming.
"Salida, let the memories begin at the place where dreams come true"
Thank you people!!!!
Cata

Creating lasting memories for my choiceless children

Potty training update: this morning first thing...POOP IN THE POTTY. While I was taking the trash...We had ice cream to celebrate...This evening poop in the potty again...this time Olivia was needing assistance so I read a book to her while she did it !!! One pee too...but still lots of puddles...I'm wondering if it s more expensive to buy diapers or the cleaning products while potty training...I know it's better to get rid of diapers in the long run but it's a pain to be cleaning up so much (specially as much as I like cleaning).
Today I gathered most of the stuff I need for my sworn financial statement, which is the last divorce paper I need to submit....what a pain!!! Here (wining) is what I don't find fair...just because I have all kinds of insurances for all kinds of situations because I like to be ready, I need to present copies of everything...Michael, at 37, has nothing, so, lucky him he only has a few papers to present (he probably won't even find those anyways)...I just think it is pretty dumb that we still have to do it if we've agreed on everything ourselves...I'm confident I will be taking that in the next few days...
I spent a lot of the day today dancing and singing like crazy (only twice did my dtrs ask me to stop singing...maybe  was getting too crazy)...HOW FUN!!! I encourage everybody to do so...I live in a corner w big windows so a few people mght have seen me...to be honest, I wasn't paying attention...but there's a few houses on the market in the neighborhood, I might be attracting buyers...I'm just that amazing...
It is 8 pm and both my kids are sleeping by their own free will. I guess I will sort out papers to see what I can file in my file cabinet and throw away...Maybe I will do so while watching Weddind Crashers...I haven't watched it in forever...my script memory is failing...
C U l8er!!!

How much more can I drag the divorce before you stop reading???

Michael and I have finally agreed on the terms for our divorce so we have filed today together...We still need to fill out a sworn financial statement, which sucks because he has nothing to write on it and I need to be finding out, how much my life and retirement policies are worth, bank statements, etc, etc etc...and he has nothing so he doesnt have to worry about it too much...Regardless, I'm super excited things are finally on it's way.
Today, I organized the girls' closets, I specially threw away lost sock, and old ones, reorganized drawers and put away all winter suits and dresses and hang the summer ones (which had been patiently waiting for a few weeks on top of their dresser)...On Sunday, I moved all the furniture, put glow on it, re arrange some stuff, gave away toys and now I'm really happy with how it looks. There's nothing like giving away that makes me feel better...I think I'm the other extreme of hoarding...When thinking about an object, hoarders think "I (or someone in this planet) will need it for sth"...I think "The less the better"...
I really like big organizing projects...Upkeep is not my thing...Needless to say, cleaning day will be tomorrow.
OK, I'm tired and my battery is almost out so it's time for bed!!!
Nite nite

Just a Few Things

I have to admit, I haven't had the most patience today. Therefore, I've tried to divert my children's attention by playing different games, dancing w very loud music, cooking the most amazing pancakes I've made (no raw middles for the first time)...It looks like I'm trying to make myself look good, but I'm not....I had to do a lot of things so as not to have to make my girls concentrate for too long, have to discipline, etc. so that's nothing to feel good mommy for.
I survived my first week at my new job as a Medical Records Clerk (or they survived me)...I really like my job...but carrying charts and filing took a toll on my body...It aches...I hope w time I'll build up strenght and I need to do some lower back muscles excercises...specially to support my growing belly...(don't start pregnancy rumors, I've just gained weight)...
I am also trying to reach an agreement w Michael, since just for filing separately there would be a $400 difference (and that's just mediation and serving him)...It's hard to schedule talking time when he's either not up for it or doesnt show up...I am starting the papers next week for sure so I really hope we can do it together...I'm not keeping my hopes too high but that would be best case scenario. Wish me luck!

In Between Jobs

I had my last day as a Registrar in Patient Financial Services yesterday and I will have my first day as a Clerk in Medical Records on Monday. So, right now, I'm in between jobs...not that I get any extra time to recuperate from the traumatizing experience that was leaving a department and job I felt so confortable with...
On Wednesday, my last "trainee" brought me some yellow Calla Lillies (my favorite flower), made me cry. On Thursday, they organized a pot luck for me. And Friday was pretty uneventful in the PFS Department...I didn't have time to mop around...It was pretty steady all day...
I did go see a lawyer on Friday, so, with all the divorce crap...I don't have room in my brain about how sad it is to leave PFS, how scary it is to have a new job, whether I'll like it or not, whether it'll be challenging enough, how will I get along w everybody...That will come. I'm a big girl, I made a decision and there's not point in worrying about it...I'll just show up and do my best.
Going back to divorceland, we have and appointment to see the lawyer on Thrusday. I've already filled out the papers w everything I think should be...Hopefully, Michael will agree and we can file jointly which means a lot less money, which I don't have anyways, and a lot less time...We'll see...
Today, there was an Easer hunt 2 blocks away from my house...It hasn't snowed all winter but it snowed today...Quite a bit....As smart as I am, I drove those two blocks....to find that I pretty much parked at my house...We were at a corner with not too many kids, so the girls were able to get some eggs...
They also took pictures w the Easter bunny...while some kids were screaming terrified...Olivia was jumping up and down next to the Easter bunny saying "Easter Bunny!!!" (not in line...Americans probably really appreciated that)...and she kept saying that all day...Even at night, when I told her the Easter Bunny was sleeping after she asked to go see him, she started telling everyone in the table (family night) that "Easter Bunny sheepin' "...
After we got back, they opened the plastic eggies and found lots of froggies...so now I'm forseeing 2 problems: they'll think both bunnies and froggies come from eggies...
So, as long as I don't have any other problems w them, we should be ok...and I can handle it...
Have a Happy Easter!!!!

Like a genie in a bottle

So today was not better than yesterday. I was less emotional but more volatile...I blew up at lunch...when people were trying to convince me how it was not fair for me to get full custody...I know a part of me is being selfish...But it's been long enough of me sharing my decisions w an irrational and addicted man...And that's all I'll say
Coworkers pretty much jumped out of my way for the rest of the day...
Anyways...I feel like I'm carrying around all this unresolvedness (if that's even a word)...I catch myself not smiling as much...
It was my mother in law's 55th bday today, all she wanted for her birthday was to see Michael, so I dragged him out of his jammies and house...and it made her day...tap in my back...she had a great day...we had some interesting heated conversations about abortion...laws of all kinds...and set on a family night every week...
I always feel a bit like an alien in that house...first, I feel claustrophobic due to all the stuff and second, I just don't feel so confortable all together...I know I'm super welcome, but I guess I'm a strong pushy person and I'm sure that might not settle very well w the family...all my unsolicited advice...
As I was driving away my thought was "I can't believe Candace has been dead for 5 years"...
OK, I'm tired..going to bed...I hope people still talk to me at work tomorrow...

Randomness I wont bother to connect

This is one more reason why I divorced Michael: His blind love for his truck. I left my keys at a friend's car while putting Olivia's car seat, so I had to borrow his truck. His huge gigantic piece of crap...It makes me appreciate my Suzie...
I had a council meeting for my girls school today and I went for drinks after work with them...One of them just got a divorce, and, eventhough I wanted to jump and say "congratulations", I just said "I'm sorry"...I just really want to say : "I know this was a hard decision and you feel like you've failed and some loss, but you're brave and that's to be celebrated"...I know people want to feel sorry for me, but they should have when I was married to the ass I was (which they probably did)...be happy for me cause I got rid of him and now I'm happy. It took a lot for my stubborn little perfect self to make this decision...that means I'm growing and getting closer to my right path in life. So Let's celebrate divorce!!!
Anyways, these ladies were all wonderful and beautiful, telling all their stories about how bad and terrible they were in high school and college...They noticed I wasn't talking so they stopped talking to ask me how I was...Answer: pretty responsible aka boring. And that wasn't all, I tried not to talk tooo much so I could absorb, but it seemed like every time I started talking they just listened...I guess I was talking about American Culture vs. Argentinian culture...I dont know if while I was talking, they were thinking how judgemental I was...but I was just saying how much happier I was now and just pointing out some differences...Like people not being all worried about how they dance and dress and how skinny they are...Typical women talk back comments. "we dance like crazy people, we dress in our jammies and we don't care", which is wonderful...I definitely see things around that I think people shouldnt go out dressed in, or letting things "hang out" but I love that this 7 thousand citizen small town is so much different than my 13 million citizen Buenos Aires...I just feel free and better about myself. I feel so confortable in this town.
I have so many things left to do before the trip, but this is the first trip in my life when I feel I am getting a lot done, and I'll have everything done by Sat...Maybe I'm just attracting readyness by positive thinking, which works for me. I'm sure I'll be up until 2 am on Friday...I paid my mortgage today, so one less thing off my list.
OK, enough babbling...off to watch the final of the bachelor..
Fascinating topic: what cultural differences (or just different habits) do you see from different places???