Like a genie in a bottle

So today was not better than yesterday. I was less emotional but more volatile...I blew up at lunch...when people were trying to convince me how it was not fair for me to get full custody...I know a part of me is being selfish...But it's been long enough of me sharing my decisions w an irrational and addicted man...And that's all I'll say
Coworkers pretty much jumped out of my way for the rest of the day...
Anyways...I feel like I'm carrying around all this unresolvedness (if that's even a word)...I catch myself not smiling as much...
It was my mother in law's 55th bday today, all she wanted for her birthday was to see Michael, so I dragged him out of his jammies and house...and it made her day...tap in my back...she had a great day...we had some interesting heated conversations about abortion...laws of all kinds...and set on a family night every week...
I always feel a bit like an alien in that house...first, I feel claustrophobic due to all the stuff and second, I just don't feel so confortable all together...I know I'm super welcome, but I guess I'm a strong pushy person and I'm sure that might not settle very well w the family...all my unsolicited advice...
As I was driving away my thought was "I can't believe Candace has been dead for 5 years"...
OK, I'm tired..going to bed...I hope people still talk to me at work tomorrow...

Get the Party Started!

I have my Dirty South Costume party tomorrow...I'm going as a southern Belle...I found the costume yesterday and I actually really like it, it's all red with little black polka dots, red had black thick belt and black boots...If my teeth are white enough (I've been whitenning them for a week), I might dare some Red Hot Lipstick...I hate it when people have bad teeth and still wear a flashy color of lipstick...Better if you attracted attention to your eyes...unless the are all red from you-know-what...then you are better off staying home under a blanket.
Anyways, tomorrow. I had asked my girl-friend to come with me. I always have fun with her. But she wasn't home when I called and I doubt her husband will give her the message...I hate going to parties by myself, even when I know a lot of the people...At least I will see her when I go out later to a second party...Yes! I never go out and tomorrow it's two parties...I wont drik too much because 1) I have to drive my babysitter home and 2) Last time I got ddrunk (New Year's) It took me a full 24 hrs to feel better...It's not worth it cause I can be as silly and have as much fun without drinking. Plus, I hate spending money in anywhere but Home Depot so alcohol is not a good investment in my cheap eyes. I hope I have tons of fun...
I asked my Sister in Law to watch my girls for a few hours tomorrow while I do some training for Girls on the Run (I will be coaching track to inocent little middle schoolers!!!), to whcih she responded "I guess"...They are her nieces and the most kissing loving girls in the planet...I wish that once, ever, she would want to watch them..is not like I ask her so much...I am always asking if my niece can spend the night or organizing family nights...IF MY FAMILY WERE HERE...they would be not even asking for them to watch them, there would be fighting ove who watches them...I guess it's always different when it's not your family...
Do you have conflicts with extended family??? Different habits???