A divorce it's not a crisis...My little baby turning 2 is...I've been in the verge of tears all day today...Crying to me it's a strenght...It shows you are not scared of being vulnerable, that you are confident enough to express your feelings...But I was at work, so I couldn't cry...
Last night, I made sure Olivia didn't drink anything before bed and I put new panties on her. I also put the potty next to her bed and explained to her she had to pee there if she woke up and wanted to pee.
She woke up dry and happy, asking for her sister (who had crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and I don't notice or I'm too tired and I keep sleeping)...And that's when it hit me...
Even though I've been potty training her for a few months...it kindda all hit together...Lack of sleep, my period (aka monthly reminder I haven't had sex for yet another month), and her 2nd birthday in 2 days...
By the time I got to work, I had to immediately go downstairs and see my friend Em for moral support....She advised me to have another baby, which is probably one of the worst advice I've ever gotten...I reminded her of the state of my wild sex life...
It's hard to see my baby...Maybe my last one...reaching her 2nd bday... Breastfeeding, co sleeping (that didn't last long anyways), carrying her around, feeding, diapers...She doesn't "need me"...
It's a little emotional (in the good way) when they reach those milestones...It's a little hard...letting go, letting them be more and more independent...But it would be harder if they couldn't reach those milestones...
My job as a parent is to make sure my kids are ready to "take care of themselves" by the time the leave home...That's huge!!!
As hard as I may try, I can't prepare them fully for the world ahead but I'm here to advice and be their company...
Throughout their childhood and teenage years they'll reach a lot of milestones...But the first 2 years are so condensed that the 2nd birthday marks the end of "baby" and beginning of toddler...
My wonderful, beautiful, loving, energetic Olivia...My little butterfly...I know there's just greatness in store for her...and I can't wait to see her grow up...With the constant challenges she'll offer...
OK, time to go to bed w Sean (my air conditioner)...
Good Night!!!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Asbestos and dust....Debt, and the misterious future
Great! That's how life is for me right now...great!
I tore up a wall last night w a hammer I could barely lift...that's my stubbornness for you....My lungs are full of asbestos...
Today, my house is full of dust....and I'm still not done....Tomorrow, I still need to mud...I don't know when I'm going to clean and grocery shop....There's absolutely no food in my house...
My brother in law (or ex brother in law) came to help me today, to teach me how to drywall. So, while he finished I got us dinner...
Michael used to be so jealous for no reason (just because he's a control freak) about him...But now, he's really helped me with some stuff...and it's great...it was a great dinner...It's so relieving to have dinner w a guy you have no attraction to, you know they are not attracted to you, and you know nothing is going to happen...it takes so much pressure off...
We usually talk about relationships and sex (or lack there of), cultural differences....and life in general...It's great, simple...It's nice to have a guy friend, a guy's perspective, just a different unfiltered one...And a handy friend :)
One of the things that came up was that, I'm probably going to live here forever (unless I end up travelling abroad for my international career, but the US will probably be "base"). I know I'll eventually get married again, and chances are that it will be to an American...
Americans grow, live and breath on debt...and I will be debt free, in 6 years...I'm going to school on grants, as they might become available...
I'm not looking (or running away either) for a serious relationship.
When relationships first start, and for a while, finances are a separate but eventually, the more your relationship progresses, the more your put lives together.
Finances are such a big part of relationships, whether we like it or not. So I just wonder, will I ever find someone I can build a future with (in every sense)???
I know I don't need to think that far ahead, specially now that I am not interested in a relationship...I just over think...
Oh well, time for bed people...
Have an amazing, stress free sleep...
I tore up a wall last night w a hammer I could barely lift...that's my stubbornness for you....My lungs are full of asbestos...
Today, my house is full of dust....and I'm still not done....Tomorrow, I still need to mud...I don't know when I'm going to clean and grocery shop....There's absolutely no food in my house...
My brother in law (or ex brother in law) came to help me today, to teach me how to drywall. So, while he finished I got us dinner...
Michael used to be so jealous for no reason (just because he's a control freak) about him...But now, he's really helped me with some stuff...and it's great...it was a great dinner...It's so relieving to have dinner w a guy you have no attraction to, you know they are not attracted to you, and you know nothing is going to happen...it takes so much pressure off...
We usually talk about relationships and sex (or lack there of), cultural differences....and life in general...It's great, simple...It's nice to have a guy friend, a guy's perspective, just a different unfiltered one...And a handy friend :)
One of the things that came up was that, I'm probably going to live here forever (unless I end up travelling abroad for my international career, but the US will probably be "base"). I know I'll eventually get married again, and chances are that it will be to an American...
Americans grow, live and breath on debt...and I will be debt free, in 6 years...I'm going to school on grants, as they might become available...
I'm not looking (or running away either) for a serious relationship.
When relationships first start, and for a while, finances are a separate but eventually, the more your relationship progresses, the more your put lives together.
Finances are such a big part of relationships, whether we like it or not. So I just wonder, will I ever find someone I can build a future with (in every sense)???
I know I don't need to think that far ahead, specially now that I am not interested in a relationship...I just over think...
Oh well, time for bed people...
Have an amazing, stress free sleep...
Monday, July 25, 2011
The room where all the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover
I have eaten 4 (good kind, caramel, chocolate, etc) ice creams in the last 60 hours...I think I have a problem...I really need to slow the chocolate eating down...My skin hasn't had this much little pimples in a long time...
Today, I did demo of my bedroom wall w a hammer I could even lift...that's how strong my determination makes me...Good thing I was doing one of the small walls, and the one that has the door (equaling less surface)...There's a lot of dust : /
Tomorrow, I'm drywalling it and maybe I'll paint my room finally this week...The last room in the house to get painted into 2 tones of brown...The room where the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover...
I also want to see if I'll have enough money w my grants left over to fix up my garage as a studio apartment to rent it out...That would be so awesome!!!! Cross your fingers for me that everything works out...I'm scared that because of the whole Washington debt ceiling debate, I won't get my grants...plus, I'm registering next week (!!!) but I don't have the money yet...I need to start buying the book too...
OK, I'm going to read some and go to bed...This week I'm concentrating on reading the magazines around the house so I can throw them away :)
Good Night!
Today, I did demo of my bedroom wall w a hammer I could even lift...that's how strong my determination makes me...Good thing I was doing one of the small walls, and the one that has the door (equaling less surface)...There's a lot of dust : /
Tomorrow, I'm drywalling it and maybe I'll paint my room finally this week...The last room in the house to get painted into 2 tones of brown...The room where the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover...
I also want to see if I'll have enough money w my grants left over to fix up my garage as a studio apartment to rent it out...That would be so awesome!!!! Cross your fingers for me that everything works out...I'm scared that because of the whole Washington debt ceiling debate, I won't get my grants...plus, I'm registering next week (!!!) but I don't have the money yet...I need to start buying the book too...
OK, I'm going to read some and go to bed...This week I'm concentrating on reading the magazines around the house so I can throw them away :)
Good Night!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Exposure to Venereal Desease
I am waiting for my Argentinian friend to come eat quiche w me...It's 8:45 and I'm starving...usually I wouldn't mind, but I went to Zumba, so I'm hungry...I guess it's an Argentinian tradition to be late...
While I wait I decided to do sth productive. There are dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry on the recliner....However, I decided it was better use of my time to pick the dress I'll wear for my divorce party and write on my blog...
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual exam...
After work, I suddenly realized I needed to shave really bad...so I'm glad I had the time for it...or it would have been impossible to insert anything there (and not in the fun way).
So, I had a pap done (not very exciting "action") and I asked to get STD tested...I said "I haven't had sex since I got divorced and I had the tests done while I was pregnant but I want to have those current results"...The doctor more than gladly agreed.
When he came back with the order he told me "The Diagnosis says "exposure to Venereal Disease" so that the insurance will cover it"....(Do you know where I work???)...Since it was before 7 (time the Lab closes) I went across to the hospital and got the paperwork for my labs.
When the lab tech came, I let her know "I haven't been exposed to a Venereal Disease, I haven't been expose to sex AT ALL..." She thought it was funny...I just kept thinking of all the people around the hospital that would see it...
She takes out 4 tubes to be filled w my blood....I hate needles...I don't know how I got my tattoos done, and had 2 epidurals...I'm such a baby...I think this was the second time in my life I didn't have anybody to hold my hand while I don't look at the Lab tech drawing blood from me...
She gave me the good news that she was only going to poke me once..but every time she took a tube out and put another one in...I suffered...
After she was done, she left the folder in the bin...I asked if she was going to take it to the front...but "No, tomorrow"...yes, please..let's just delay the process and increase the exposure....
Anyways...next day...I told my department so that, is anyone saw it they knew how virginal I was...
I guess it changed my view...I used to think people getting those were truly.....a mess...And I'm clearly not (aside from mentally)...very humbling...
It's another day, Maria came, so I just saved it...and now I'm laying on my freshly mowed grass...Dory, my manual land mower...has gotten sharpened enough that, paired up w my hulk like strenght, can completely handle this yard in less than an hour...and leave time and energy to lay on it, enjoy it, listen to Sugarland and write....American dream, right???
OK friends...Thanks for reading about my extraordinarily ordinary life
Have a great weekend!!!
While I wait I decided to do sth productive. There are dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry on the recliner....However, I decided it was better use of my time to pick the dress I'll wear for my divorce party and write on my blog...
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual exam...
After work, I suddenly realized I needed to shave really bad...so I'm glad I had the time for it...or it would have been impossible to insert anything there (and not in the fun way).
So, I had a pap done (not very exciting "action") and I asked to get STD tested...I said "I haven't had sex since I got divorced and I had the tests done while I was pregnant but I want to have those current results"...The doctor more than gladly agreed.
When he came back with the order he told me "The Diagnosis says "exposure to Venereal Disease" so that the insurance will cover it"....(Do you know where I work???)...Since it was before 7 (time the Lab closes) I went across to the hospital and got the paperwork for my labs.
When the lab tech came, I let her know "I haven't been exposed to a Venereal Disease, I haven't been expose to sex AT ALL..." She thought it was funny...I just kept thinking of all the people around the hospital that would see it...
She takes out 4 tubes to be filled w my blood....I hate needles...I don't know how I got my tattoos done, and had 2 epidurals...I'm such a baby...I think this was the second time in my life I didn't have anybody to hold my hand while I don't look at the Lab tech drawing blood from me...
She gave me the good news that she was only going to poke me once..but every time she took a tube out and put another one in...I suffered...
After she was done, she left the folder in the bin...I asked if she was going to take it to the front...but "No, tomorrow"...yes, please..let's just delay the process and increase the exposure....
Anyways...next day...I told my department so that, is anyone saw it they knew how virginal I was...
I guess it changed my view...I used to think people getting those were truly.....a mess...And I'm clearly not (aside from mentally)...very humbling...
It's another day, Maria came, so I just saved it...and now I'm laying on my freshly mowed grass...Dory, my manual land mower...has gotten sharpened enough that, paired up w my hulk like strenght, can completely handle this yard in less than an hour...and leave time and energy to lay on it, enjoy it, listen to Sugarland and write....American dream, right???
OK friends...Thanks for reading about my extraordinarily ordinary life
Have a great weekend!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
A dad for my children...No, thanks
Guy I met at the bar asked me what I was doing on the weekend and, after I responded I didn't know ans what did he have in mind, never answer back...
My theory is that he saw I had children and I thought he'd have to become a daddy overnight...Neither I want him to be the father of my children (they already have one, crappy, but there) nor I want to have a relationship w him...I met him at a bar...
I've started thinking this booty call thing is not going to happen...and re changing my mind set...Only due to my very little experience, I think the more you know the person the more you can let go, ask for what you want, feel comfortable about giving them what they want and, therefore, the better the sex is...so maybe I shall wait...I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter...I just make it sound like it...
Another thing, my therapist discharged me...She's tried it a few times...And I didn't think it'd be a good time because school will be added to my things to balance picture pretty soon...but she insisted. If she read this blog she'd change her mind...I think maybe all her patients are crazier than me (that's a lot a lot)....Oh well...Is not like I have problems expressing my feelings or acting on the issues i can fix, right??? Let's keep telling myself I'm ok and repeating the serenity prayer...
My soon to be project is drywalling one of the walls of my bedroom, so that I can paint it (is the only unpainted room), and so that I can put trim in the house...I just don't know where all this money will come from...but I'm sure I'll get it done :), just because you find the way of doing the things you really want to...
My grandparents have offered to pay me a trip to Argentina, since they are not coming due to the visa taking too long...I just don't know when I can take the time for that...
Mi niece was born today...I got to see her just for a little bit...what a miracle babies are...It's pretty amazing....I can't even describe it...
My theory is that he saw I had children and I thought he'd have to become a daddy overnight...Neither I want him to be the father of my children (they already have one, crappy, but there) nor I want to have a relationship w him...I met him at a bar...
I've started thinking this booty call thing is not going to happen...and re changing my mind set...Only due to my very little experience, I think the more you know the person the more you can let go, ask for what you want, feel comfortable about giving them what they want and, therefore, the better the sex is...so maybe I shall wait...I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter...I just make it sound like it...
Another thing, my therapist discharged me...She's tried it a few times...And I didn't think it'd be a good time because school will be added to my things to balance picture pretty soon...but she insisted. If she read this blog she'd change her mind...I think maybe all her patients are crazier than me (that's a lot a lot)....Oh well...Is not like I have problems expressing my feelings or acting on the issues i can fix, right??? Let's keep telling myself I'm ok and repeating the serenity prayer...
My soon to be project is drywalling one of the walls of my bedroom, so that I can paint it (is the only unpainted room), and so that I can put trim in the house...I just don't know where all this money will come from...but I'm sure I'll get it done :), just because you find the way of doing the things you really want to...
My grandparents have offered to pay me a trip to Argentina, since they are not coming due to the visa taking too long...I just don't know when I can take the time for that...
Mi niece was born today...I got to see her just for a little bit...what a miracle babies are...It's pretty amazing....I can't even describe it...
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Crappy...but life is ok
I'm in love with JP from the Bachelorette...If she doesn't take him...I will.
Tuesday sucked....I sucked at work, I didn't get the job I applied for, and I got a really bad news (to be disclosed)...
I didn't take the job news as bad as I thought...considering the fact that it means I'm still stuck in the system, that I'm not moving forward and that I don't know how will I feed my family...Plus, it's pretty much the only job I haven't gotten after an interview...I'm really good at interviews...I mean, it's all about presenting yourself, and nobody knows how awesome I am better than myself...
My bad news that I got was that my American BFF is not getting the house 4 blocks away from mine..I went into shock, and then found a hundred undoable solutions and then I accepted it by painting...Those are my steps...
Money sure would fix a lot of problems...I wish I had the money to fix up my garage so my friend could move in there :)
I painted the inside of the bathroom closet white (it used to be many colors)...My clothes deserve to be in a pretty place...I wish I could go on What not to wear, throw all my clothes away and get all new clothes for my closet (don't we all)...but then I'd have no idea what to wear for a while.
To cheer my friend up I told her (not asked her) that we were going out the next day and I figured it all out for her...So I went to kidnap her and she didn't come...Turns out her husband is on my black list now for that...long story, but he didn't say he wasn't working the next day...
I got home, message Liz, who trained me and used to work at the hospital but now lives in Kansas, and went straight to the bar to meet w her...50 cents beer...pretty awesome...$2 dollar night...
I met a few of her friends....One I was interested in for a booty call guy :)...and we are going rafting w a few people next week...So exciting...Ill keep you posted (if I survive w the river as high as it is)...
I drank 2 beers in 2 hours...and I'm sure i was in the limit to drive (and I felt more than fine) but I walk home (alone, yes).
Having the car in front of the bar forced me to get my butt up this morning and go walk (I had to get my car)...I was on my way down the mountain when I started hearing a whistle...I walk about 5 meters (look it up) thinking dog whistles were very annoying and I didn't know why would a dog want to go to it...and then I realized dog whistles are inaudible for humans so I thought this could be a person yelling for help...As I was walking back up, I had it all figured out...I was going to go to the person, make sure they were ok, and then go get out trauma coordinator/ er nurse, I had just seen running up...Turns out it was a dog whistle...Better safe than guiltfull I guess...
There was an armed bank robbery in the very small town of Salida...I called my few in town families to make sure they stayed inside and narrowed my kids to being w Michael (2 blocks away from the bank)...I left him a message not to leave the apartment and why, and to call me, ad I kept calling him all day but the absolute a hole never had the decency to call me...I guess he really enjoys messing w me as much as usual and didn't consider the fact that I just wanted to know the kids were safe...
The hospital went into lock down (total restricted movement in and out)...It was pretty much the same...other than I was worrying about my daughters the whole day...I hope he decides life is too difficult and moves away soon...
OK, I'll go watch some TV..
Peace out yo'
Tuesday sucked....I sucked at work, I didn't get the job I applied for, and I got a really bad news (to be disclosed)...
I didn't take the job news as bad as I thought...considering the fact that it means I'm still stuck in the system, that I'm not moving forward and that I don't know how will I feed my family...Plus, it's pretty much the only job I haven't gotten after an interview...I'm really good at interviews...I mean, it's all about presenting yourself, and nobody knows how awesome I am better than myself...
My bad news that I got was that my American BFF is not getting the house 4 blocks away from mine..I went into shock, and then found a hundred undoable solutions and then I accepted it by painting...Those are my steps...
Money sure would fix a lot of problems...I wish I had the money to fix up my garage so my friend could move in there :)
I painted the inside of the bathroom closet white (it used to be many colors)...My clothes deserve to be in a pretty place...I wish I could go on What not to wear, throw all my clothes away and get all new clothes for my closet (don't we all)...but then I'd have no idea what to wear for a while.
To cheer my friend up I told her (not asked her) that we were going out the next day and I figured it all out for her...So I went to kidnap her and she didn't come...Turns out her husband is on my black list now for that...long story, but he didn't say he wasn't working the next day...
I got home, message Liz, who trained me and used to work at the hospital but now lives in Kansas, and went straight to the bar to meet w her...50 cents beer...pretty awesome...$2 dollar night...
I met a few of her friends....One I was interested in for a booty call guy :)...and we are going rafting w a few people next week...So exciting...Ill keep you posted (if I survive w the river as high as it is)...
I drank 2 beers in 2 hours...and I'm sure i was in the limit to drive (and I felt more than fine) but I walk home (alone, yes).
Having the car in front of the bar forced me to get my butt up this morning and go walk (I had to get my car)...I was on my way down the mountain when I started hearing a whistle...I walk about 5 meters (look it up) thinking dog whistles were very annoying and I didn't know why would a dog want to go to it...and then I realized dog whistles are inaudible for humans so I thought this could be a person yelling for help...As I was walking back up, I had it all figured out...I was going to go to the person, make sure they were ok, and then go get out trauma coordinator/ er nurse, I had just seen running up...Turns out it was a dog whistle...Better safe than guiltfull I guess...
There was an armed bank robbery in the very small town of Salida...I called my few in town families to make sure they stayed inside and narrowed my kids to being w Michael (2 blocks away from the bank)...I left him a message not to leave the apartment and why, and to call me, ad I kept calling him all day but the absolute a hole never had the decency to call me...I guess he really enjoys messing w me as much as usual and didn't consider the fact that I just wanted to know the kids were safe...
The hospital went into lock down (total restricted movement in and out)...It was pretty much the same...other than I was worrying about my daughters the whole day...I hope he decides life is too difficult and moves away soon...
OK, I'll go watch some TV..
Peace out yo'
Friday, July 8, 2011
Going on an extreme diet...
It's thundering pretty promisingly here...I love rain...you know what rain reminds me of??? You guessed it: Sex...Nice, slow romantic, or sweaty and hard sex...What a wonderful thing...
Have you ripped your eyes out yet???
I wasn't the best mom today...I yelled a few times and didn't do the steps to take privileges away..I just took it...It just drives me crazy that Kyrsten never wants to help...she never wants to pick up her own messes...She is being raised by a single mom so she better get on it. And fast.
Plus, it's hard to have to figure it all out by myself...I'm stressed. I was supposed to get my $365 (it used to be $600) in food stamps on Monday...and yesterday afternoon I checked my card balance and I hadn't gotten it yet...So I called this morning and she said they had been cancelled (long story)...I sent my latest (smaller) paychecks, and she reinstated me..and now I'm getting, $200...which I'm extremely grateful for, but I can't feed us on that amount...$365 was ok (and a bit of a challenge)...Maybe if I don't eat the half of the week I don't have the girls $200 will do...I don't get it...My income didn't increase...I know one person in the household left...but you can't feed 3 people on $200...I guess I'll have to find the way...
Supplementing my income is not working very well...After my initial investment of a blackboard, markers, batteries, a portable CD player, and the time I spend preparing the classes...I don't really make much at all...I think it is very important for kids to learn Spanish but it really feels like more of a sacrifice than a gain right now, to be honest...Maybe I'll just make it a summer thing...Who knows...
I really need to get this job now...Really really do...Or I don't know what I'm going to do...I can't sell my body, cause no one will even take it for free...God will provide..he always does...Pray for the job too...
I hate being in the system...I can't wait to get off of it...It stinks and makes no sense...And I work my butt off for a place who had millions in over profit every year...it's a joke...
My sister in law has been having mild contractions for a day and a half now...so hopefully this weekend we'll have a baby...I can't wait to meet her. Plus, babies put things in perspective...
OK, enough complaining...Time to dream of a better future...
Love,
Cata
ps...this was in my drafts for some reason...its from last friday...
Have you ripped your eyes out yet???
I wasn't the best mom today...I yelled a few times and didn't do the steps to take privileges away..I just took it...It just drives me crazy that Kyrsten never wants to help...she never wants to pick up her own messes...She is being raised by a single mom so she better get on it. And fast.
Plus, it's hard to have to figure it all out by myself...I'm stressed. I was supposed to get my $365 (it used to be $600) in food stamps on Monday...and yesterday afternoon I checked my card balance and I hadn't gotten it yet...So I called this morning and she said they had been cancelled (long story)...I sent my latest (smaller) paychecks, and she reinstated me..and now I'm getting, $200...which I'm extremely grateful for, but I can't feed us on that amount...$365 was ok (and a bit of a challenge)...Maybe if I don't eat the half of the week I don't have the girls $200 will do...I don't get it...My income didn't increase...I know one person in the household left...but you can't feed 3 people on $200...I guess I'll have to find the way...
Supplementing my income is not working very well...After my initial investment of a blackboard, markers, batteries, a portable CD player, and the time I spend preparing the classes...I don't really make much at all...I think it is very important for kids to learn Spanish but it really feels like more of a sacrifice than a gain right now, to be honest...Maybe I'll just make it a summer thing...Who knows...
I really need to get this job now...Really really do...Or I don't know what I'm going to do...I can't sell my body, cause no one will even take it for free...God will provide..he always does...Pray for the job too...
I hate being in the system...I can't wait to get off of it...It stinks and makes no sense...And I work my butt off for a place who had millions in over profit every year...it's a joke...
My sister in law has been having mild contractions for a day and a half now...so hopefully this weekend we'll have a baby...I can't wait to meet her. Plus, babies put things in perspective...
OK, enough complaining...Time to dream of a better future...
Love,
Cata
ps...this was in my drafts for some reason...its from last friday...
Thursday, July 7, 2011
My busy week
It's been quite a busy week...
4th of July...circus, parade, BBQ...which was super fun!!! It's nice to see how much better the girls are getting at being able to play with kids on their own...So now I can start being an adult even when they are around.
Tuesday...Went to the dentist, which included the psycho-ex-girlfriend, I want to be your best friend, dental assistant...Yuck...at least it's done...
at night, it was deep cleaning at the house, I started room by room cleaning and organizing...so great...Tomorrow they are coming to wash the carpet.
Wednesday, Interview... I interview for a job at the Treasurer office in this County...Great benefits: paid holidays, vacation time, no deduction for insurance, 25% more than what I make (which would allow me to get off the system :), getting contacts for recommendation letters for Law School...I think they liked me, I even made them laugh a few times... I am nervous about one thing...I got the feeling that people in the office don't totally get along...but I could be wrong...I think it would be a great move for me...I'll hear about it next week, I'll keep you posted :)
At night I had my finance class, which was the reading of the promissory note and deed of trust when you buy a house....It merciless and outrageous the things lenders are allowed to ask you to sign...and you don't have a choice if you want to buy sth...but it's good to know the mess you are getting into...
After class I went to Em's in the middle of nowhere house, which was great...I did spend half the night talking about interesting stuff and the other half talking about the sex I'm not having...and resolved that, specially with school coming, I need a booty call...Bim bam bum and let's get back on with life, perfect, right??? well, I need to find a guy I'm physically attracted to. Little detail.
Today I went walking with my friend Jirka, and she told me I wouldn't like to have a booty call...She either thinks too highly of me or she is too decent...I think both...I actually don't think there's anything wrong really...It works...as long as both parties agree on it (and which guy wouldn't agree on sex without a relationship)...I think it'd be perfect :)...
Today, I was suppose to go to the therapist but her son got sick so it's been cancelled..I only go once a month and I had been thinking about not going anymore, but with school starting I'm sure I'll need to find my sanity once a month...at least...
In the afternoon I mowed the grass for the first time...I hadn't even done 5% and I already had blisters and was ready to give up...It looks so easy but it's not...I need to start working on my arms more...or get a booty call/grass mower guy...I guess big arms will be a must (and a good butt because that's where the strenght comes from, right?)...anyways, as much as I enjoy my grass I hate mowing it...I which it was only a once a year thing...I got a third done because I need it for my Spanish class on Saturday (which I haven't even prepared yet)...Maybe I'll do another third tomorrow and another one on Saturday...I'm hoping after I finish it'll be easier to keep up...It doesn't look very even now...like a bad haircut...Mowing is like waxing, hate it but things need to be trimmed :)
After 4th of July, work was a nightmare...huge piles...the girl that trained me helped me all week with so much...I was caught up yesterday and did really good today...Bless her heart...it's awesome to be caught up...
Ok, no deep thought...I just had to catch up with my very (not) interesting life...
OH, a couple of great things happening...My best friend got her visa, so she's coming in August and we are going to Vegas for the first time !!!!
I wrote to my last first date and told him he was a great guy but I didn't want to go out on a date on Monday....Someday my second date will happen, just not right now...
I'm not proof reading this because I want to go read...I hope it made sense (as if I ever do).
Good Night everybody!!!
4th of July...circus, parade, BBQ...which was super fun!!! It's nice to see how much better the girls are getting at being able to play with kids on their own...So now I can start being an adult even when they are around.
Tuesday...Went to the dentist, which included the psycho-ex-girlfriend, I want to be your best friend, dental assistant...Yuck...at least it's done...
at night, it was deep cleaning at the house, I started room by room cleaning and organizing...so great...Tomorrow they are coming to wash the carpet.
Wednesday, Interview... I interview for a job at the Treasurer office in this County...Great benefits: paid holidays, vacation time, no deduction for insurance, 25% more than what I make (which would allow me to get off the system :), getting contacts for recommendation letters for Law School...I think they liked me, I even made them laugh a few times... I am nervous about one thing...I got the feeling that people in the office don't totally get along...but I could be wrong...I think it would be a great move for me...I'll hear about it next week, I'll keep you posted :)
At night I had my finance class, which was the reading of the promissory note and deed of trust when you buy a house....It merciless and outrageous the things lenders are allowed to ask you to sign...and you don't have a choice if you want to buy sth...but it's good to know the mess you are getting into...
After class I went to Em's in the middle of nowhere house, which was great...I did spend half the night talking about interesting stuff and the other half talking about the sex I'm not having...and resolved that, specially with school coming, I need a booty call...Bim bam bum and let's get back on with life, perfect, right??? well, I need to find a guy I'm physically attracted to. Little detail.
Today I went walking with my friend Jirka, and she told me I wouldn't like to have a booty call...She either thinks too highly of me or she is too decent...I think both...I actually don't think there's anything wrong really...It works...as long as both parties agree on it (and which guy wouldn't agree on sex without a relationship)...I think it'd be perfect :)...
Today, I was suppose to go to the therapist but her son got sick so it's been cancelled..I only go once a month and I had been thinking about not going anymore, but with school starting I'm sure I'll need to find my sanity once a month...at least...
In the afternoon I mowed the grass for the first time...I hadn't even done 5% and I already had blisters and was ready to give up...It looks so easy but it's not...I need to start working on my arms more...or get a booty call/grass mower guy...I guess big arms will be a must (and a good butt because that's where the strenght comes from, right?)...anyways, as much as I enjoy my grass I hate mowing it...I which it was only a once a year thing...I got a third done because I need it for my Spanish class on Saturday (which I haven't even prepared yet)...Maybe I'll do another third tomorrow and another one on Saturday...I'm hoping after I finish it'll be easier to keep up...It doesn't look very even now...like a bad haircut...Mowing is like waxing, hate it but things need to be trimmed :)
After 4th of July, work was a nightmare...huge piles...the girl that trained me helped me all week with so much...I was caught up yesterday and did really good today...Bless her heart...it's awesome to be caught up...
Ok, no deep thought...I just had to catch up with my very (not) interesting life...
OH, a couple of great things happening...My best friend got her visa, so she's coming in August and we are going to Vegas for the first time !!!!
I wrote to my last first date and told him he was a great guy but I didn't want to go out on a date on Monday....Someday my second date will happen, just not right now...
I'm not proof reading this because I want to go read...I hope it made sense (as if I ever do).
Good Night everybody!!!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Parenting the biggest challenge I'll ever face...
Sometimes I wonder why my children don't take me seriously...I do follow through...Yesterday at the park it took me counting until 3 and grounding them from, coming to the park the next day, watching movies that night, and finally chocolate was enough punishment for them to decide to go...
Today, they decided to rub their pickle (they are girls and that's why I feel OK saying that), on the table... and after a warning, I took it away...
For bedtime, I told Kyrsten if she tried to push her sister of her bed (yet again), I would stop reading...and so I did...they decided they didn't want to go to bed...first time I said I'd close the door...second time the light...and that did it...but geez...aren't they used to the right way of doing things by now???
As I type...Olivia has taken one hour to fall asleep...
Maybe they are sensing how guilty I'm feeling lately...Of feeling happy they are growing up and they can do so many things by themselves, while I do chores around the house...I feel super guilty...as if because of being raised by a single mom they won't get as much attention and they will have to grow up quicker...They deserve more than that...they deserve as long of a childhood and as much innocence as possible...extra if that's available..They deserve everything...and I wonder if even as I do my best every day, that won't cover it...How hard...And they bring me more joy, knowledge and lessons than they will ever know...how's that fair???
And I'm terrified of the world they'll face...keeps getting crazier and crazier and I hope they want me around and want to ask me questions about any topics...
(Serenity Praise here)...
Parenting the biggest challenge I'll ever face...
Today, they decided to rub their pickle (they are girls and that's why I feel OK saying that), on the table... and after a warning, I took it away...
For bedtime, I told Kyrsten if she tried to push her sister of her bed (yet again), I would stop reading...and so I did...they decided they didn't want to go to bed...first time I said I'd close the door...second time the light...and that did it...but geez...aren't they used to the right way of doing things by now???
As I type...Olivia has taken one hour to fall asleep...
Maybe they are sensing how guilty I'm feeling lately...Of feeling happy they are growing up and they can do so many things by themselves, while I do chores around the house...I feel super guilty...as if because of being raised by a single mom they won't get as much attention and they will have to grow up quicker...They deserve more than that...they deserve as long of a childhood and as much innocence as possible...extra if that's available..They deserve everything...and I wonder if even as I do my best every day, that won't cover it...How hard...And they bring me more joy, knowledge and lessons than they will ever know...how's that fair???
And I'm terrified of the world they'll face...keeps getting crazier and crazier and I hope they want me around and want to ask me questions about any topics...
(Serenity Praise here)...
Parenting the biggest challenge I'll ever face...
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Life is perfect!!!!
It's been a great weekend and it's only Saturday of a long weekend...
Friday night the Air Force Academy Orchestra played at the park...Retired people (most of our community), sat ALLLL afternoon in their foldable camping chairs...We got there about one hour before, and you couldn't see anything...So, I strategically placed us very near the park so we could get tired before they started playing...Swinging gets me more tired than the girls...
My mini double folding camping chairs and stroller were left abandoned all show...and we just played...with music...It was perfect...I danced with them (a few years from now they'll be embarrassed of their mom's shamelessness), sang, talked with friends...Perfect...Olivia only threw sand to 2 kids and knocked down her friend with a hug...pretty good...Perfect...
Today, Spanish class...which was a bit chaotic but I believe the kids are having a lot more fun and learning a lot...I'm still not ready to have them all by myself...but it's been a learning process, that's still going...
Then I went to learn how to change the oil of my car (in my road to be self sufficient), and cleaned the car.
My friend's husband came to mow my wild lawn...It was such a hard task and he made it look so easy...I'm so grateful...I got a mower...It was a lot more expensive than I was planning to spend and that I can afford but at least it's one thing more off my to do list...Now I can just keep up with it...forever and ever...
Then, we went to the park..it was so much fun...I was swinging with the girls...realizing how perfect my life is...just right then...
I've been having a lot of those moments that I just "stop and smell the roses"...that I just see the perfection in how things are... :) I'm happy :) What a huge statement to make...
Find perfection in simple things!!!
Love to all my fans who still read e even though I write with no cohesiveness...
Cata
Friday night the Air Force Academy Orchestra played at the park...Retired people (most of our community), sat ALLLL afternoon in their foldable camping chairs...We got there about one hour before, and you couldn't see anything...So, I strategically placed us very near the park so we could get tired before they started playing...Swinging gets me more tired than the girls...
My mini double folding camping chairs and stroller were left abandoned all show...and we just played...with music...It was perfect...I danced with them (a few years from now they'll be embarrassed of their mom's shamelessness), sang, talked with friends...Perfect...Olivia only threw sand to 2 kids and knocked down her friend with a hug...pretty good...Perfect...
Today, Spanish class...which was a bit chaotic but I believe the kids are having a lot more fun and learning a lot...I'm still not ready to have them all by myself...but it's been a learning process, that's still going...
Then I went to learn how to change the oil of my car (in my road to be self sufficient), and cleaned the car.
My friend's husband came to mow my wild lawn...It was such a hard task and he made it look so easy...I'm so grateful...I got a mower...It was a lot more expensive than I was planning to spend and that I can afford but at least it's one thing more off my to do list...Now I can just keep up with it...forever and ever...
Then, we went to the park..it was so much fun...I was swinging with the girls...realizing how perfect my life is...just right then...
I've been having a lot of those moments that I just "stop and smell the roses"...that I just see the perfection in how things are... :) I'm happy :) What a huge statement to make...
Find perfection in simple things!!!
Love to all my fans who still read e even though I write with no cohesiveness...
Cata
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