My sister spent 3 months in France and part of her ticket was 6 days in Miami, so we all had the genius idea of meeting there in Fort Lauderdale (in a hotel 50 meters from the beach). My parents, grandparents, my sissy, my daughters and I.
"You are going to travel w your 2 daughters on such a long trip?"
We've been to Argentina 3 times since Kyrsten was born (Olivia was in the belly the first time), and I've always gone by myself w them. It takes about 15 hours since the moment we leave Colorado Springs in the plane (2 hour flight to Houston and 10 and a half hours to Argentina).
Florida, Walk in the park? Wrong. I think I was overconfident about this trip. The trip to Argentina happens mostly at night so we (or better said, they) are sleeping most of it. Plus, I think (even though I came prepared with candy and new toys) a 2 and a half year old is a lot harder to entertain than a 1 and a half year old. However, no diaper bag needed, no changes of diapers or clothes were needed, little people were understanding at times. And everyon around us had no problems at all.
The week was amazing, the beach was so nice and peaceful, the ocean was such so deep, calming, embracing. There something utterly relieving about just floating, letting the vast, peaceful, almighty water take over for a while.
It amazed me how readily my parents were to just take the girls for a little while. Such an amazing predisposition I am not used to having. And they all were absolutely bonded instantly and had so much fun. And I got to watch it.
It was so heartbreaking to see my daughters get so sad for the first time as we were leaving. They are getting older and realizing more things and I wish I could carry that pain but I a also grateful we are able to see my family so much.
In this trips I am more able to see myself, to reconnect with where I come from and also differentiate myself. I realize how much we carry and defend our family values, even the ones we use to fight. I am able to see how much I've grown, and seen different worlds, live different world. I'm growing but keeping this strong roots that make me stand strong and have allowed me to feel safe to extend myself, to explore.
I see how strong opinionated we all are, and I see how I am learning to not say so much if it's unnecessary and wont be accepted the way I want it too. I see that I am a different person around my family. Not in a bad or good way, I'm just a little different.
What a wonderful week, I'm so blessed to be able to travel so much with my girlies. I hope some day they can appreciate it as much as I hope I do.
Ok friends, I hope everyone is doing amazing!
Cata.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
25...where I thought I'd be vs. where I am.
PLANS AND MORE PLANS
We all have figured out I am a planner...Therefore, you must not find it strange that since I was like..12 maybe, I knew where I'd be at 25...finished Law School, in the middle of my Masters in International Affairs, and either married or about to get married...
REALITY
So I am 25, single mom of 2 girls, divorced from a very crappy marriage, no school diploma, no career, working at a clerical job at Medical Records, struggling every month...sorry yet? I am not...I'm just making it sound bad...I am happy about most of those things...It's all how you look at things, right?
At 25 I have bought a house (which will be paid off when I'm 30), I'm successfully juggling school, work, a house, living without debt (other than the mortgage), raising these amazing little wonders, and having sort of a (very non conventional) relationship...too many praises to myself???
There's a lot of things I planned and unplanned and then planned again...and everything is just perfect :) I never thought I'd be as happy as I am, or the people I've met, the things I've done, places I've seen, what I've learned...the things I didn't plan for have been the best of my life. And I only anticipate it getting better.
I hope my 25th turn around the Sun is as amazing as my 24th...
We all have figured out I am a planner...Therefore, you must not find it strange that since I was like..12 maybe, I knew where I'd be at 25...finished Law School, in the middle of my Masters in International Affairs, and either married or about to get married...
REALITY
So I am 25, single mom of 2 girls, divorced from a very crappy marriage, no school diploma, no career, working at a clerical job at Medical Records, struggling every month...sorry yet? I am not...I'm just making it sound bad...I am happy about most of those things...It's all how you look at things, right?
At 25 I have bought a house (which will be paid off when I'm 30), I'm successfully juggling school, work, a house, living without debt (other than the mortgage), raising these amazing little wonders, and having sort of a (very non conventional) relationship...too many praises to myself???
There's a lot of things I planned and unplanned and then planned again...and everything is just perfect :) I never thought I'd be as happy as I am, or the people I've met, the things I've done, places I've seen, what I've learned...the things I didn't plan for have been the best of my life. And I only anticipate it getting better.
I hope my 25th turn around the Sun is as amazing as my 24th...
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Where are these kids' parents???
Do you ever have those moments when you don't want to hear your kids crying in the car anymore so you turn on the radio? It usually doesn't bother me AT ALL...but today I thought it'd be more pleasant than the non radio alternative on our way back from the supermarket.
The other day, my fridge was so empty that I decided to clean it...Today, I picked up the girls and headed to Walmart...it was either that or starvation...They were so dirty it was terrible, but I knew if we didnt go straight there, I wouldn't want to leave the house again. So, I wiped their faces and zip their jackets and off we went.
I let them know they would not have the option of walking (without touching items) today...
We started at the fruit section and we hadn't even made it to the frozen section (right next to it) when Olivia started whining...and crying, and whining...I had things to buy (out of food and cleaning products)...woman on a mission...after getting a decent amount of things while the background noise got louder...I decided it was time to go...
Check out time...the sweetest, slowest gentleman in the world. He would scan, bag and put the bag (yes, one by one) in my cart...At this point Olivia was full blown screaming for everyone's enjoyment.
A mom I know came by and said "I just wanted to come tell you that you are not alone, I just bribed my child to keep him calm"...I told her "It doesn't really bother me...It might bother the people around me but I won't see them...until tomorrow..."...It's a small Salida...
When I really got to think about it, I am doing everyone there a favor...If there's a kid screaming, you probably won't but as much and save money :) Just doing community service
Anyways, I thought I would check in after forever and a half. I've missed you, unknown fans :)
The other day, my fridge was so empty that I decided to clean it...Today, I picked up the girls and headed to Walmart...it was either that or starvation...They were so dirty it was terrible, but I knew if we didnt go straight there, I wouldn't want to leave the house again. So, I wiped their faces and zip their jackets and off we went.
I let them know they would not have the option of walking (without touching items) today...
We started at the fruit section and we hadn't even made it to the frozen section (right next to it) when Olivia started whining...and crying, and whining...I had things to buy (out of food and cleaning products)...woman on a mission...after getting a decent amount of things while the background noise got louder...I decided it was time to go...
Check out time...the sweetest, slowest gentleman in the world. He would scan, bag and put the bag (yes, one by one) in my cart...At this point Olivia was full blown screaming for everyone's enjoyment.
A mom I know came by and said "I just wanted to come tell you that you are not alone, I just bribed my child to keep him calm"...I told her "It doesn't really bother me...It might bother the people around me but I won't see them...until tomorrow..."...It's a small Salida...
When I really got to think about it, I am doing everyone there a favor...If there's a kid screaming, you probably won't but as much and save money :) Just doing community service
Anyways, I thought I would check in after forever and a half. I've missed you, unknown fans :)
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Soul Sisters
Yesterday, I was talking to my (not so) little sister and I started quoting a commercial and she finished it...This commercial was from 10 years ago when we lived in Bolivia...It just made me think...
My other little sister always sends me music from the music my parents used to play when we were little in the weekends...
In either case a "remember when..." was needed...we are sisters...we all know the places we've been....for 18 years together...
My sisters and I are 18 months apart...I'm the eldest...Whenever I thought how having 2 girls so close in age would be, I always thought "My mom had a 3 year old, an 18 month old and a newborn, all at the same time"...and she survived...mostly mentally unharmed...
Because we were so close in age, we were all raised...what's the word...with the same rules at the same time....
There will never be a friend, a cousin or anyone who will have walked that 18 year road with me (and I have done so with them too)...all the tacit thoughts behind some comments we make...
My sisters are amazing...We couldn't be more different, we couldn't have chosen more different careers (lawyer, doctor, international management)...
We have tons in common and lots that makes us so different one to another...and yet..."we know"...we know our parents (and other family), we know the places we've lived (quite a few movings), the friends we've had, the things we've accomplished, things we've gone thru...All with our own subjective opinions but nonetheless...we know...
We would do anything for each other...
To be honest, I don't know if we would have been "friends" if God hadn't sent us all to the same family...but we are now....
My other little sister always sends me music from the music my parents used to play when we were little in the weekends...
In either case a "remember when..." was needed...we are sisters...we all know the places we've been....for 18 years together...
My sisters and I are 18 months apart...I'm the eldest...Whenever I thought how having 2 girls so close in age would be, I always thought "My mom had a 3 year old, an 18 month old and a newborn, all at the same time"...and she survived...mostly mentally unharmed...
Because we were so close in age, we were all raised...what's the word...with the same rules at the same time....
There will never be a friend, a cousin or anyone who will have walked that 18 year road with me (and I have done so with them too)...all the tacit thoughts behind some comments we make...
My sisters are amazing...We couldn't be more different, we couldn't have chosen more different careers (lawyer, doctor, international management)...
We have tons in common and lots that makes us so different one to another...and yet..."we know"...we know our parents (and other family), we know the places we've lived (quite a few movings), the friends we've had, the things we've accomplished, things we've gone thru...All with our own subjective opinions but nonetheless...we know...
We would do anything for each other...
To be honest, I don't know if we would have been "friends" if God hadn't sent us all to the same family...but we are now....
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Cultural Differences and Languages
My two favorite subjects to talk about are probably cultural differences and languages. I lived in Argentina most of my life, two years in Bolivia and now have been in the United Sates for five years. After having the privilege of experiencing a few cultures, I have started finding myself more and more seeking cultural differences in conversations with people that have had the same opportunity as I have, that can tell me about their experiences. It's so fascinating to me.
Languages is another big passion of mine...I speak fluent Spanish and English, and use to be pretty fluent in Italian. I also know a tiny bit of French and hope to become fluent in it some day. Altogether, I hope to be fluent in 6 languages, including one with a different alphabet, at some point in my life. I love learning about languages and even language differences. I grew up with British English, which got distorted along the way. I really ejoy talking to my Vice President at the hospital, who is from England. I love talking to her about phrases and words that are different (Like "it's not my cup of tea"...which I have used several times here and have gotten blank stares in return)...
I realized in our division lunch, which she attended, of one thing.: I know I get too involved in this kind of discussions and monopolize conversations, which makes it very boring for people around who are not a bit interested in any of this...I need to be more aware of it...
Anyways, just those little thoughts...
Have a great weekend...
Cata.
Languages is another big passion of mine...I speak fluent Spanish and English, and use to be pretty fluent in Italian. I also know a tiny bit of French and hope to become fluent in it some day. Altogether, I hope to be fluent in 6 languages, including one with a different alphabet, at some point in my life. I love learning about languages and even language differences. I grew up with British English, which got distorted along the way. I really ejoy talking to my Vice President at the hospital, who is from England. I love talking to her about phrases and words that are different (Like "it's not my cup of tea"...which I have used several times here and have gotten blank stares in return)...
I realized in our division lunch, which she attended, of one thing.: I know I get too involved in this kind of discussions and monopolize conversations, which makes it very boring for people around who are not a bit interested in any of this...I need to be more aware of it...
Anyways, just those little thoughts...
Have a great weekend...
Cata.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
"The opium of the masses"
I think Marx said that about religion (Karl, not Groucho). Sounds like something he'd say anyways.
As 92% of Argentinians, I am Catholic. However, I have found the Salida Catholic church (and probably the faith in general in the States), very Orthodox.
In Argentina, there are so many people going to church (not 92% of course) that I believe some things have molded to accommodate all the attendees.
In a town I lived long time ago, it was even the "cool" thing and hot spot for teenagers to be on Sunday evening...Better church than getting in trouble, right?
So, after a clash between wanting to go to church and wanting my girls to go to church, I decided I needed to find a kid-friendly church. I believe all Christian churches carry similar values so I asked around about Christian churches with good kids programs and got recommended to one by two coworkers.
The idea was to go "church shopping" but the girls (and I) liked it so much on the first day that we just kept going for a month and a half now. People were super welcoming and friendly and the Pastor's passion for his lectures were inspiring.
A few people had told me about the perception they got that women were supposed to be submissive to men and, only in the short period of time I've been there, I've already heard it preached twice.
I am always going to be Catholic and raise my girls that way but finding a good kids program is important and the local Catholic church doesn't offer one (nor is kid friendly at all). I just don't want them to be taught that because I honestly believe men and women are 100% equal specially in the eyes of God.
I know that parts of the Scriptures need to be contextualized and I think this is one of them.
I don't know if I'll go back or not...I do know I need to try other ones. Regardless, I think I need to go back to my original plan of "church shopping"...it doesn't cost anything after all...
I know it's not very good writing skills but [insert excuses here].
Sorry I've been missing for so long...I write so much for school and spend so much time in the computer for it that blogging only comes to mind while I am not home.
See you!
Cata.
As 92% of Argentinians, I am Catholic. However, I have found the Salida Catholic church (and probably the faith in general in the States), very Orthodox.
In Argentina, there are so many people going to church (not 92% of course) that I believe some things have molded to accommodate all the attendees.
In a town I lived long time ago, it was even the "cool" thing and hot spot for teenagers to be on Sunday evening...Better church than getting in trouble, right?
So, after a clash between wanting to go to church and wanting my girls to go to church, I decided I needed to find a kid-friendly church. I believe all Christian churches carry similar values so I asked around about Christian churches with good kids programs and got recommended to one by two coworkers.
The idea was to go "church shopping" but the girls (and I) liked it so much on the first day that we just kept going for a month and a half now. People were super welcoming and friendly and the Pastor's passion for his lectures were inspiring.
A few people had told me about the perception they got that women were supposed to be submissive to men and, only in the short period of time I've been there, I've already heard it preached twice.
I am always going to be Catholic and raise my girls that way but finding a good kids program is important and the local Catholic church doesn't offer one (nor is kid friendly at all). I just don't want them to be taught that because I honestly believe men and women are 100% equal specially in the eyes of God.
I know that parts of the Scriptures need to be contextualized and I think this is one of them.
I don't know if I'll go back or not...I do know I need to try other ones. Regardless, I think I need to go back to my original plan of "church shopping"...it doesn't cost anything after all...
I know it's not very good writing skills but [insert excuses here].
Sorry I've been missing for so long...I write so much for school and spend so much time in the computer for it that blogging only comes to mind while I am not home.
See you!
Cata.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Crazy or Complex...
I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and I have no idea what I was passionately going on about but he said "I don't know if you are crazy or complex"...(Are we seeing a theme through my male friends???)....this is a person who knows me and likes me a lot and thinks I'm complicated...
I said "Both!"...Em automatically said "She just thinks too much, that's her problem"...
I'd like to think I'm wonderfully complex and that I'll just keep being that way forever...I don't think I'll ever figure myself out and that's ok. I'll keep changing and evolving, hopefully becoming better every day.
Anyways... I thought about this and even though I am a dialetic thinker (a person that keeps thinking while they talk) maybe I should not talk so much...(and so intimidatingly passionatedly)...Smart people talk little, substantially and leave you thinking...I need to work on that...
PS: I love seeing people that have known me for a few years and they see me now and they comment on how happy I look...And I stop and think how happy I am...Life is pretty woderful...Lucky for my crazy and complex self.
I said "Both!"...Em automatically said "She just thinks too much, that's her problem"...
I'd like to think I'm wonderfully complex and that I'll just keep being that way forever...I don't think I'll ever figure myself out and that's ok. I'll keep changing and evolving, hopefully becoming better every day.
Anyways... I thought about this and even though I am a dialetic thinker (a person that keeps thinking while they talk) maybe I should not talk so much...(and so intimidatingly passionatedly)...Smart people talk little, substantially and leave you thinking...I need to work on that...
PS: I love seeing people that have known me for a few years and they see me now and they comment on how happy I look...And I stop and think how happy I am...Life is pretty woderful...Lucky for my crazy and complex self.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Homesick...
I hate this ability women have of "putting everything in the same bag" and finding a way of making it "align" somehow...
Today, I'm feeling homesick. The fact that the girls are not home gives me even more time to think about anything...
Last Friday, I succeeded my expectations in a test and of course told my family because everybody knows when me or my cousins have any test...So, I'm sure everyone was waiting to hear. My sister told me she called my grandma and she got emotional on the phone and told her she always prayed for me and she was so happy I was doing all this...I skyped with her later and she told me how smart I was and all these things (I don't know why my family thinks I'm so smart...I think they have selective memory)....
This weekend, my friends had a friend over and also talked about having frieds over. My frieds can't come over that often.
I also talked to one of my dearest friends in Argentina yesterday...
All these "aligned" and I'm a little home sick now...
Friends and Family are such an important piece of the life puzzle.
It's hard to see all the things my friends go through and I'm not there with them. On the bright side, my relationship with my family is great...We talk everyday but short doses :). It's still hard not to be physically "there".
I have great Friends here and I have 100% made Salida my home from the beginning. I think moving so much has made me highly adaptable and positive about the resources available. And Salida is gorgeous...Colorado is one of the most beautiful places I've been, and I'm extremely lucky to live here. I wake up to mountains everyday.
And being away from my family and friends is all part of growing up, finding our paths, our place in the world, following our dreams...Life brings us closer and further sometimes...
Today, I'm a little homesick.
Homesick is not a feeling I ever have. Specially now that I am a happy divorced woman. I definitely know I have not been homesick in this last year and a half...
This whole aligning thing is one more thing that is wrong with us, the pretty sex.
OK, I better get back to cleaning and homework if I want to be a successful international lawyer 100 years from now, and go visit my family on long weekends :P
Have a great starred night.
Today, I'm feeling homesick. The fact that the girls are not home gives me even more time to think about anything...
Last Friday, I succeeded my expectations in a test and of course told my family because everybody knows when me or my cousins have any test...So, I'm sure everyone was waiting to hear. My sister told me she called my grandma and she got emotional on the phone and told her she always prayed for me and she was so happy I was doing all this...I skyped with her later and she told me how smart I was and all these things (I don't know why my family thinks I'm so smart...I think they have selective memory)....
This weekend, my friends had a friend over and also talked about having frieds over. My frieds can't come over that often.
I also talked to one of my dearest friends in Argentina yesterday...
All these "aligned" and I'm a little home sick now...
Friends and Family are such an important piece of the life puzzle.
It's hard to see all the things my friends go through and I'm not there with them. On the bright side, my relationship with my family is great...We talk everyday but short doses :). It's still hard not to be physically "there".
I have great Friends here and I have 100% made Salida my home from the beginning. I think moving so much has made me highly adaptable and positive about the resources available. And Salida is gorgeous...Colorado is one of the most beautiful places I've been, and I'm extremely lucky to live here. I wake up to mountains everyday.
And being away from my family and friends is all part of growing up, finding our paths, our place in the world, following our dreams...Life brings us closer and further sometimes...
Today, I'm a little homesick.
Homesick is not a feeling I ever have. Specially now that I am a happy divorced woman. I definitely know I have not been homesick in this last year and a half...
This whole aligning thing is one more thing that is wrong with us, the pretty sex.
OK, I better get back to cleaning and homework if I want to be a successful international lawyer 100 years from now, and go visit my family on long weekends :P
Have a great starred night.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
The Great Wall of Catalina
My name is Catalina and I have a problem. It was brought to my attention this week that I have a very negative image of men and dating.
After I gave a long bitter speech at my friends' house about how we should ask the questions that really matter to us in the first dates...If it's important how much someone makes or in what side of the bed they sleep, or whatever you might consider important, I think it should be talked about in the beginning. So you know if they are any deal breakers that you need to be aware of (at least). Not when you are head over heels and moved in with someone, when you make it not matter...Anyways, my friend Clint looks at me with a "what is wrong with you look" he sometimes has and tells me he doesn't understand how can I be so mad at men and dating....it's not like I've done many of those (he didn't say that part).
It got me thinking that it's true and I wasn't very sure why. I'm sure part of it might be fear of rejection.
I don't think I am scared of falling in love per se, I don't even think I am scared of getting my heart broken.
I believe the biggest part is I am very scared of myself in love, I do not have a history of making good decisions while in love (aka dropping out of Law school and moving to the North Hemisphere, last time I was in love of a guy I barely knew)...And I have too many plans and kids. I could be screwing up a lot.
I didn't think I had walls because I am very emotionally open and very honest. I've realized how cynical I am this days. Cynicism can be a wall too. A pretty thick one. Even if it makes people laugh. I need to work on that.
I hope some day I can figure myself out a bit more...not fair to ask people to see through that and hang on enough to calm down and be normal...If it's even possible.
Have a great weekend!
After I gave a long bitter speech at my friends' house about how we should ask the questions that really matter to us in the first dates...If it's important how much someone makes or in what side of the bed they sleep, or whatever you might consider important, I think it should be talked about in the beginning. So you know if they are any deal breakers that you need to be aware of (at least). Not when you are head over heels and moved in with someone, when you make it not matter...Anyways, my friend Clint looks at me with a "what is wrong with you look" he sometimes has and tells me he doesn't understand how can I be so mad at men and dating....it's not like I've done many of those (he didn't say that part).
It got me thinking that it's true and I wasn't very sure why. I'm sure part of it might be fear of rejection.
I don't think I am scared of falling in love per se, I don't even think I am scared of getting my heart broken.
I believe the biggest part is I am very scared of myself in love, I do not have a history of making good decisions while in love (aka dropping out of Law school and moving to the North Hemisphere, last time I was in love of a guy I barely knew)...And I have too many plans and kids. I could be screwing up a lot.
I didn't think I had walls because I am very emotionally open and very honest. I've realized how cynical I am this days. Cynicism can be a wall too. A pretty thick one. Even if it makes people laugh. I need to work on that.
I hope some day I can figure myself out a bit more...not fair to ask people to see through that and hang on enough to calm down and be normal...If it's even possible.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Are we there yet???
All my life I've concentrated on the future...I'm a planner.... I don't remember a time in my life (other than being married which was a disaster) when I didn't have a 10 year plan...
I think I was about 9 or 10 when I picked Law School and a masters in International Affairs...I picked schools a few years later...I'm that crazy...
When I was a child, I don't remember playing or getting dirty much...I was too anxious to grow up.
I'm very thankful my children have taught me how to play and my divorce have showed me to be so happy now.
I also find perfection in so many moments in my day...I don't recognize myself sometimes...This is not the little girl who was so worried about the future that couldn't live the present...
Don't get me wrong, I have a plan. I think I just need one...I need to know where I'm going, and that I'll be doing great things with my life...But I am learning to enjoy the ride...
I have recently realized (everyone else already knew this) that I have a hard time relaxing for a "normal" period of time...I started a bath for the first time since I moved here (4 years ago), and opened my bath salts which didn't smell any more...That's when I realize that I had a problem...I layed in the hot water reading my English Composition book (I know...I can't help myself from being productive at all times), and eventually I got out. When I looked at the clock, it had only been 20 min...I was disappointed at myself for not being able to relax.
Having 7 years of school ahead it's a little overwhelming and stressful at times...I love being in school. I am an absolutely nerd...I love knowledge...I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to little silly details (ask my friends about all the useless information I provide daily)...
I get anxious about being in Law School and getting the kind of debate I crave so much but it's going to be a while until then...I need to "take a chill pill" and calm down...There are so many great things that happen everyday and will happen between now and then....
I have to stop listening to my "old me" asking..."ARE WE THERE YET?"
I think I was about 9 or 10 when I picked Law School and a masters in International Affairs...I picked schools a few years later...I'm that crazy...
When I was a child, I don't remember playing or getting dirty much...I was too anxious to grow up.
I'm very thankful my children have taught me how to play and my divorce have showed me to be so happy now.
I also find perfection in so many moments in my day...I don't recognize myself sometimes...This is not the little girl who was so worried about the future that couldn't live the present...
Don't get me wrong, I have a plan. I think I just need one...I need to know where I'm going, and that I'll be doing great things with my life...But I am learning to enjoy the ride...
I have recently realized (everyone else already knew this) that I have a hard time relaxing for a "normal" period of time...I started a bath for the first time since I moved here (4 years ago), and opened my bath salts which didn't smell any more...That's when I realize that I had a problem...I layed in the hot water reading my English Composition book (I know...I can't help myself from being productive at all times), and eventually I got out. When I looked at the clock, it had only been 20 min...I was disappointed at myself for not being able to relax.
Having 7 years of school ahead it's a little overwhelming and stressful at times...I love being in school. I am an absolutely nerd...I love knowledge...I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to little silly details (ask my friends about all the useless information I provide daily)...
I get anxious about being in Law School and getting the kind of debate I crave so much but it's going to be a while until then...I need to "take a chill pill" and calm down...There are so many great things that happen everyday and will happen between now and then....
I have to stop listening to my "old me" asking..."ARE WE THERE YET?"
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Next 7 years, here we go...
Apparently I have an ulcer. I don't really have time for it right now.
I was bended all day because it hurt and it got terribly painful in the afternoon. I'm not used to being in pain or taking pills or anything so I was just ignoring it all day...
I went to the doctor and I was the most boring patient he had seen. No pills, no smoking, no alcohol, healthy as a horse.
Ectopic pregnancy was immediately ruled out (for obvious reason...unless the Holly Spirit visited me), Apedix is already gone....I explained my symptoms, he touched my belly and "bet his money" it was a duodenal ulcer (good thing he didn't say he bet my money, cause then it would not have been a strong diagnostic)...
My overproductive self also decided to get a Gardisil shot (for HPV and cervical cancer prevention)...Althought I'm starting to think that by the time I have sex the muscles will be atrophied due to lack of use...Being so so so busy does not allow as much time to think about sex (now it's only 90% of the time).
I think I am really good with stress...I definitely think I get a lot accomplished and my house is a lot cleaner all the time...I also sleep about 7 hours a night (10 to 5, I hate it)...But i haven't been eating well and I'm always "running"...
I'm a happier person because I'm "doing", and not just letting life drive by...I'm happy to be in school and my brain definitively yearns the knowledge...
Everybody has been incredibly supportive and encouraging. One person offered to watch the girls for a few hours if I ever needed. I just can't miss the next 7 years of their lives because "I'm working in our future". I'm just trying to do everything the days they are gone and when they are in bed...
I really wish I could be working part time, I definitely know everything is too much...but I can't do it any other way....I'm an overachiver anyways...
I better get used to it because this are the next 7 years of my life...at least.
I actually hope the garage can be fixed up as a studio appartment before I move to denver for law school and that between that and renting the house I can either not work or work part time (or maybe even at college)...Let's hope we all survive unharmed and succesfully.
OK, time to see if I can get more homework done.
I thought I'd let you know about my very interesting life...
Have an awesome weekend!!!
Cata.
I was bended all day because it hurt and it got terribly painful in the afternoon. I'm not used to being in pain or taking pills or anything so I was just ignoring it all day...
I went to the doctor and I was the most boring patient he had seen. No pills, no smoking, no alcohol, healthy as a horse.
Ectopic pregnancy was immediately ruled out (for obvious reason...unless the Holly Spirit visited me), Apedix is already gone....I explained my symptoms, he touched my belly and "bet his money" it was a duodenal ulcer (good thing he didn't say he bet my money, cause then it would not have been a strong diagnostic)...
My overproductive self also decided to get a Gardisil shot (for HPV and cervical cancer prevention)...Althought I'm starting to think that by the time I have sex the muscles will be atrophied due to lack of use...Being so so so busy does not allow as much time to think about sex (now it's only 90% of the time).
I think I am really good with stress...I definitely think I get a lot accomplished and my house is a lot cleaner all the time...I also sleep about 7 hours a night (10 to 5, I hate it)...But i haven't been eating well and I'm always "running"...
I'm a happier person because I'm "doing", and not just letting life drive by...I'm happy to be in school and my brain definitively yearns the knowledge...
Everybody has been incredibly supportive and encouraging. One person offered to watch the girls for a few hours if I ever needed. I just can't miss the next 7 years of their lives because "I'm working in our future". I'm just trying to do everything the days they are gone and when they are in bed...
I really wish I could be working part time, I definitely know everything is too much...but I can't do it any other way....I'm an overachiver anyways...
I better get used to it because this are the next 7 years of my life...at least.
I actually hope the garage can be fixed up as a studio appartment before I move to denver for law school and that between that and renting the house I can either not work or work part time (or maybe even at college)...Let's hope we all survive unharmed and succesfully.
OK, time to see if I can get more homework done.
I thought I'd let you know about my very interesting life...
Have an awesome weekend!!!
Cata.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
On the Moon, being happy, weird and neuron connections
Hi Friends!!!
I'm tired but I want to write...
I am happy. Period. I am weird, and it's good to be single when you are weird. Nobody gives me "looks" or is silently (or not so silently) embarrassed of my actions and opinions. I am really awesome and should express myself.
I love dancing around the house all the time and singing a lot (at home and in the car)...
I am so happy all the time...I never imagined I could be this happy...I am a very positive person and I think that really plays a big part. However, I think the biggest part is that I was so unhappy for a while that now I can't help how happy I am. And I wouldn't want to stop it.
Here's a weird thing I do that I have never told anyone: Every night before bed, I look through my window to see the moon. I'm obsessed with the moon...I don't know why...and the Moon in Colorado seems to be bigger for some reason...I just love staring at it...I could do it for hours...Deeper thoughts come at night for me. It might be because you have all night to keep thinking, because the world gets quieter, quiet enough that you can hear your thoughts.
I want to keep writing but I am pretty tired. I hope the lack of sleep will still allow me to keep having some interesting big thoughts every now and then...I love it when the miracle of my neurons doing synapses happens...and I love the light going on...new connections, revolutionary thoughts, and the opportunity to share them with people we respect enough to be receptive to them...and hopefully rebottle in some way that makes us think even deeper...
That's all folks!
Buenas Noches!
Cata.
I'm tired but I want to write...
I am happy. Period. I am weird, and it's good to be single when you are weird. Nobody gives me "looks" or is silently (or not so silently) embarrassed of my actions and opinions. I am really awesome and should express myself.
I love dancing around the house all the time and singing a lot (at home and in the car)...
I am so happy all the time...I never imagined I could be this happy...I am a very positive person and I think that really plays a big part. However, I think the biggest part is that I was so unhappy for a while that now I can't help how happy I am. And I wouldn't want to stop it.
Here's a weird thing I do that I have never told anyone: Every night before bed, I look through my window to see the moon. I'm obsessed with the moon...I don't know why...and the Moon in Colorado seems to be bigger for some reason...I just love staring at it...I could do it for hours...Deeper thoughts come at night for me. It might be because you have all night to keep thinking, because the world gets quieter, quiet enough that you can hear your thoughts.
I want to keep writing but I am pretty tired. I hope the lack of sleep will still allow me to keep having some interesting big thoughts every now and then...I love it when the miracle of my neurons doing synapses happens...and I love the light going on...new connections, revolutionary thoughts, and the opportunity to share them with people we respect enough to be receptive to them...and hopefully rebottle in some way that makes us think even deeper...
That's all folks!
Buenas Noches!
Cata.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Married again :)
I have been gone forever...I've had company...my bff from Argentina, and now my mom is here...
But today it's raining (my favorite thing ever) and my marriage had begun...so I'm extremely happy.
"And now I pronounce you Cata and School"...
School and I started our flirting stage in kindergarden, I was always so very happy to go to school. I had a happy time at home but I absolutely loved it. I used to memorize books and "read" them to my stuffed animals.
By the time I started 1st grade , I was a full blown nerd. Nerd is a good term in Argentina, you can be cool AND nerdy. There wasn't "classification" that early in my school...and I wasn't that "cool" later because I had glasses (since I was 2), plus, my sister was considered prettier and cooler than me (never affected my self steem, if you know me).
Straight A was an everyday thing...
By the time we got engaged in high school, school and I, I already knew I wanted to take our relationship all the way.
I probably realized my call when I was 9 or 10 years old, but by high school I already had schools and masters picked out. I WAS GOING TO BE AN AMBASSADOR.
Law School and then a Masters in International Affairs...
So there I went, 2 years of Law School...when I had my affair...Michael...
Yes, My other marriage got in the way...
I moved to the States w the idea of starting again (cause everything is so doable when you are in "love")...
A little here and there I continued out relationship...Eventually my real marriage (or should I say my husband) got in the way and School and I broke up for 2 years...
A month ago I decided no more, I realized my true love, the one that had always been there, never let me down, always full filled me, my true soul mate...So within a week, I had filled out so many applications and emails, I had my scholarships and subjects picked out...
I started last weekend (even though nothing was on the website yet), to make up for lost time...
Today is the first day of our Marriage, today is the official start of the semester and therefore, the start of our marriage...
This time I'll get it right...I know...It's meant to be...
There will be times of hate and love...No sleep, no food, no sex (but what else is new). I'll dedicate all my time to it...All the time I don't have the girls and all the time they are asleep...
Next 10 years of my life, at least...and then I'm thinking I'll keep our flame going by studying languages, I'd like to be fluent in 6 languages, I already have 3 (English, Spanish, Italian...little rusty)...French...just the basics...
So, there's the most promising and fruitful relationship I'm cultivating :)
Wish us love and happiness...
But today it's raining (my favorite thing ever) and my marriage had begun...so I'm extremely happy.
"And now I pronounce you Cata and School"...
School and I started our flirting stage in kindergarden, I was always so very happy to go to school. I had a happy time at home but I absolutely loved it. I used to memorize books and "read" them to my stuffed animals.
By the time I started 1st grade , I was a full blown nerd. Nerd is a good term in Argentina, you can be cool AND nerdy. There wasn't "classification" that early in my school...and I wasn't that "cool" later because I had glasses (since I was 2), plus, my sister was considered prettier and cooler than me (never affected my self steem, if you know me).
Straight A was an everyday thing...
By the time we got engaged in high school, school and I, I already knew I wanted to take our relationship all the way.
I probably realized my call when I was 9 or 10 years old, but by high school I already had schools and masters picked out. I WAS GOING TO BE AN AMBASSADOR.
Law School and then a Masters in International Affairs...
So there I went, 2 years of Law School...when I had my affair...Michael...
Yes, My other marriage got in the way...
I moved to the States w the idea of starting again (cause everything is so doable when you are in "love")...
A little here and there I continued out relationship...Eventually my real marriage (or should I say my husband) got in the way and School and I broke up for 2 years...
A month ago I decided no more, I realized my true love, the one that had always been there, never let me down, always full filled me, my true soul mate...So within a week, I had filled out so many applications and emails, I had my scholarships and subjects picked out...
I started last weekend (even though nothing was on the website yet), to make up for lost time...
Today is the first day of our Marriage, today is the official start of the semester and therefore, the start of our marriage...
This time I'll get it right...I know...It's meant to be...
There will be times of hate and love...No sleep, no food, no sex (but what else is new). I'll dedicate all my time to it...All the time I don't have the girls and all the time they are asleep...
Next 10 years of my life, at least...and then I'm thinking I'll keep our flame going by studying languages, I'd like to be fluent in 6 languages, I already have 3 (English, Spanish, Italian...little rusty)...French...just the basics...
So, there's the most promising and fruitful relationship I'm cultivating :)
Wish us love and happiness...
Sunday, August 7, 2011
American choices...
I hate the United States of America some days...There's like a gazillion choices every step you make....For example, traditional American breakfast: how do you want your eggs??? Potatoes??? Toast or Pancakes??? What meat??? Isn't that why there's a meal in the menu, things put together and you choose it???
It's really hard for someone like me that honestly doesn't care...I'm fine w pretty much anything, until I get the check...So, choose whatever you think waitress...And I can't say that because urban legend is that if I don't care they'll spit on my food...So maybe that's why I haven't gone out to eat in a hundred years...and maybe it's a budget issue too......
Even if you go to fast food..."fries or onion rigs" "salad or bread sticks"...It's irritation to people that couldn't care less...
For such unhappy people, there are way too many choices...I think if people had less options, they'd be happier...But that's just me
I didn't go to breakfast this morning...I made burnt and raw pancakes (I took pieces of each one for us to eat)...I was just trying to make reservations to my trip to Las Vegas...coming up (or not) in 2 weeks and felt very overwhelmed by options...
It's been a very eventful week (divorce, divorce party, friend moving close, drywalled and painted my room)....but I'm tired, so I'll tell you in my next post :)
Have an awesome week!!!
It's really hard for someone like me that honestly doesn't care...I'm fine w pretty much anything, until I get the check...So, choose whatever you think waitress...And I can't say that because urban legend is that if I don't care they'll spit on my food...So maybe that's why I haven't gone out to eat in a hundred years...and maybe it's a budget issue too......
Even if you go to fast food..."fries or onion rigs" "salad or bread sticks"...It's irritation to people that couldn't care less...
For such unhappy people, there are way too many choices...I think if people had less options, they'd be happier...But that's just me
I didn't go to breakfast this morning...I made burnt and raw pancakes (I took pieces of each one for us to eat)...I was just trying to make reservations to my trip to Las Vegas...coming up (or not) in 2 weeks and felt very overwhelmed by options...
It's been a very eventful week (divorce, divorce party, friend moving close, drywalled and painted my room)....but I'm tired, so I'll tell you in my next post :)
Have an awesome week!!!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Crisis
A divorce it's not a crisis...My little baby turning 2 is...I've been in the verge of tears all day today...Crying to me it's a strenght...It shows you are not scared of being vulnerable, that you are confident enough to express your feelings...But I was at work, so I couldn't cry...
Last night, I made sure Olivia didn't drink anything before bed and I put new panties on her. I also put the potty next to her bed and explained to her she had to pee there if she woke up and wanted to pee.
She woke up dry and happy, asking for her sister (who had crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and I don't notice or I'm too tired and I keep sleeping)...And that's when it hit me...
Even though I've been potty training her for a few months...it kindda all hit together...Lack of sleep, my period (aka monthly reminder I haven't had sex for yet another month), and her 2nd birthday in 2 days...
By the time I got to work, I had to immediately go downstairs and see my friend Em for moral support....She advised me to have another baby, which is probably one of the worst advice I've ever gotten...I reminded her of the state of my wild sex life...
It's hard to see my baby...Maybe my last one...reaching her 2nd bday... Breastfeeding, co sleeping (that didn't last long anyways), carrying her around, feeding, diapers...She doesn't "need me"...
It's a little emotional (in the good way) when they reach those milestones...It's a little hard...letting go, letting them be more and more independent...But it would be harder if they couldn't reach those milestones...
My job as a parent is to make sure my kids are ready to "take care of themselves" by the time the leave home...That's huge!!!
As hard as I may try, I can't prepare them fully for the world ahead but I'm here to advice and be their company...
Throughout their childhood and teenage years they'll reach a lot of milestones...But the first 2 years are so condensed that the 2nd birthday marks the end of "baby" and beginning of toddler...
My wonderful, beautiful, loving, energetic Olivia...My little butterfly...I know there's just greatness in store for her...and I can't wait to see her grow up...With the constant challenges she'll offer...
OK, time to go to bed w Sean (my air conditioner)...
Good Night!!!
Last night, I made sure Olivia didn't drink anything before bed and I put new panties on her. I also put the potty next to her bed and explained to her she had to pee there if she woke up and wanted to pee.
She woke up dry and happy, asking for her sister (who had crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and I don't notice or I'm too tired and I keep sleeping)...And that's when it hit me...
Even though I've been potty training her for a few months...it kindda all hit together...Lack of sleep, my period (aka monthly reminder I haven't had sex for yet another month), and her 2nd birthday in 2 days...
By the time I got to work, I had to immediately go downstairs and see my friend Em for moral support....She advised me to have another baby, which is probably one of the worst advice I've ever gotten...I reminded her of the state of my wild sex life...
It's hard to see my baby...Maybe my last one...reaching her 2nd bday... Breastfeeding, co sleeping (that didn't last long anyways), carrying her around, feeding, diapers...She doesn't "need me"...
It's a little emotional (in the good way) when they reach those milestones...It's a little hard...letting go, letting them be more and more independent...But it would be harder if they couldn't reach those milestones...
My job as a parent is to make sure my kids are ready to "take care of themselves" by the time the leave home...That's huge!!!
As hard as I may try, I can't prepare them fully for the world ahead but I'm here to advice and be their company...
Throughout their childhood and teenage years they'll reach a lot of milestones...But the first 2 years are so condensed that the 2nd birthday marks the end of "baby" and beginning of toddler...
My wonderful, beautiful, loving, energetic Olivia...My little butterfly...I know there's just greatness in store for her...and I can't wait to see her grow up...With the constant challenges she'll offer...
OK, time to go to bed w Sean (my air conditioner)...
Good Night!!!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Asbestos and dust....Debt, and the misterious future
Great! That's how life is for me right now...great!
I tore up a wall last night w a hammer I could barely lift...that's my stubbornness for you....My lungs are full of asbestos...
Today, my house is full of dust....and I'm still not done....Tomorrow, I still need to mud...I don't know when I'm going to clean and grocery shop....There's absolutely no food in my house...
My brother in law (or ex brother in law) came to help me today, to teach me how to drywall. So, while he finished I got us dinner...
Michael used to be so jealous for no reason (just because he's a control freak) about him...But now, he's really helped me with some stuff...and it's great...it was a great dinner...It's so relieving to have dinner w a guy you have no attraction to, you know they are not attracted to you, and you know nothing is going to happen...it takes so much pressure off...
We usually talk about relationships and sex (or lack there of), cultural differences....and life in general...It's great, simple...It's nice to have a guy friend, a guy's perspective, just a different unfiltered one...And a handy friend :)
One of the things that came up was that, I'm probably going to live here forever (unless I end up travelling abroad for my international career, but the US will probably be "base"). I know I'll eventually get married again, and chances are that it will be to an American...
Americans grow, live and breath on debt...and I will be debt free, in 6 years...I'm going to school on grants, as they might become available...
I'm not looking (or running away either) for a serious relationship.
When relationships first start, and for a while, finances are a separate but eventually, the more your relationship progresses, the more your put lives together.
Finances are such a big part of relationships, whether we like it or not. So I just wonder, will I ever find someone I can build a future with (in every sense)???
I know I don't need to think that far ahead, specially now that I am not interested in a relationship...I just over think...
Oh well, time for bed people...
Have an amazing, stress free sleep...
I tore up a wall last night w a hammer I could barely lift...that's my stubbornness for you....My lungs are full of asbestos...
Today, my house is full of dust....and I'm still not done....Tomorrow, I still need to mud...I don't know when I'm going to clean and grocery shop....There's absolutely no food in my house...
My brother in law (or ex brother in law) came to help me today, to teach me how to drywall. So, while he finished I got us dinner...
Michael used to be so jealous for no reason (just because he's a control freak) about him...But now, he's really helped me with some stuff...and it's great...it was a great dinner...It's so relieving to have dinner w a guy you have no attraction to, you know they are not attracted to you, and you know nothing is going to happen...it takes so much pressure off...
We usually talk about relationships and sex (or lack there of), cultural differences....and life in general...It's great, simple...It's nice to have a guy friend, a guy's perspective, just a different unfiltered one...And a handy friend :)
One of the things that came up was that, I'm probably going to live here forever (unless I end up travelling abroad for my international career, but the US will probably be "base"). I know I'll eventually get married again, and chances are that it will be to an American...
Americans grow, live and breath on debt...and I will be debt free, in 6 years...I'm going to school on grants, as they might become available...
I'm not looking (or running away either) for a serious relationship.
When relationships first start, and for a while, finances are a separate but eventually, the more your relationship progresses, the more your put lives together.
Finances are such a big part of relationships, whether we like it or not. So I just wonder, will I ever find someone I can build a future with (in every sense)???
I know I don't need to think that far ahead, specially now that I am not interested in a relationship...I just over think...
Oh well, time for bed people...
Have an amazing, stress free sleep...
Monday, July 25, 2011
The room where all the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover
I have eaten 4 (good kind, caramel, chocolate, etc) ice creams in the last 60 hours...I think I have a problem...I really need to slow the chocolate eating down...My skin hasn't had this much little pimples in a long time...
Today, I did demo of my bedroom wall w a hammer I could even lift...that's how strong my determination makes me...Good thing I was doing one of the small walls, and the one that has the door (equaling less surface)...There's a lot of dust : /
Tomorrow, I'm drywalling it and maybe I'll paint my room finally this week...The last room in the house to get painted into 2 tones of brown...The room where the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover...
I also want to see if I'll have enough money w my grants left over to fix up my garage as a studio apartment to rent it out...That would be so awesome!!!! Cross your fingers for me that everything works out...I'm scared that because of the whole Washington debt ceiling debate, I won't get my grants...plus, I'm registering next week (!!!) but I don't have the money yet...I need to start buying the book too...
OK, I'm going to read some and go to bed...This week I'm concentrating on reading the magazines around the house so I can throw them away :)
Good Night!
Today, I did demo of my bedroom wall w a hammer I could even lift...that's how strong my determination makes me...Good thing I was doing one of the small walls, and the one that has the door (equaling less surface)...There's a lot of dust : /
Tomorrow, I'm drywalling it and maybe I'll paint my room finally this week...The last room in the house to get painted into 2 tones of brown...The room where the magic doesn't happen is getting a makeover...
I also want to see if I'll have enough money w my grants left over to fix up my garage as a studio apartment to rent it out...That would be so awesome!!!! Cross your fingers for me that everything works out...I'm scared that because of the whole Washington debt ceiling debate, I won't get my grants...plus, I'm registering next week (!!!) but I don't have the money yet...I need to start buying the book too...
OK, I'm going to read some and go to bed...This week I'm concentrating on reading the magazines around the house so I can throw them away :)
Good Night!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Exposure to Venereal Desease
I am waiting for my Argentinian friend to come eat quiche w me...It's 8:45 and I'm starving...usually I wouldn't mind, but I went to Zumba, so I'm hungry...I guess it's an Argentinian tradition to be late...
While I wait I decided to do sth productive. There are dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry on the recliner....However, I decided it was better use of my time to pick the dress I'll wear for my divorce party and write on my blog...
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual exam...
After work, I suddenly realized I needed to shave really bad...so I'm glad I had the time for it...or it would have been impossible to insert anything there (and not in the fun way).
So, I had a pap done (not very exciting "action") and I asked to get STD tested...I said "I haven't had sex since I got divorced and I had the tests done while I was pregnant but I want to have those current results"...The doctor more than gladly agreed.
When he came back with the order he told me "The Diagnosis says "exposure to Venereal Disease" so that the insurance will cover it"....(Do you know where I work???)...Since it was before 7 (time the Lab closes) I went across to the hospital and got the paperwork for my labs.
When the lab tech came, I let her know "I haven't been exposed to a Venereal Disease, I haven't been expose to sex AT ALL..." She thought it was funny...I just kept thinking of all the people around the hospital that would see it...
She takes out 4 tubes to be filled w my blood....I hate needles...I don't know how I got my tattoos done, and had 2 epidurals...I'm such a baby...I think this was the second time in my life I didn't have anybody to hold my hand while I don't look at the Lab tech drawing blood from me...
She gave me the good news that she was only going to poke me once..but every time she took a tube out and put another one in...I suffered...
After she was done, she left the folder in the bin...I asked if she was going to take it to the front...but "No, tomorrow"...yes, please..let's just delay the process and increase the exposure....
Anyways...next day...I told my department so that, is anyone saw it they knew how virginal I was...
I guess it changed my view...I used to think people getting those were truly.....a mess...And I'm clearly not (aside from mentally)...very humbling...
It's another day, Maria came, so I just saved it...and now I'm laying on my freshly mowed grass...Dory, my manual land mower...has gotten sharpened enough that, paired up w my hulk like strenght, can completely handle this yard in less than an hour...and leave time and energy to lay on it, enjoy it, listen to Sugarland and write....American dream, right???
OK friends...Thanks for reading about my extraordinarily ordinary life
Have a great weekend!!!
While I wait I decided to do sth productive. There are dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry on the recliner....However, I decided it was better use of my time to pick the dress I'll wear for my divorce party and write on my blog...
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual exam...
After work, I suddenly realized I needed to shave really bad...so I'm glad I had the time for it...or it would have been impossible to insert anything there (and not in the fun way).
So, I had a pap done (not very exciting "action") and I asked to get STD tested...I said "I haven't had sex since I got divorced and I had the tests done while I was pregnant but I want to have those current results"...The doctor more than gladly agreed.
When he came back with the order he told me "The Diagnosis says "exposure to Venereal Disease" so that the insurance will cover it"....(Do you know where I work???)...Since it was before 7 (time the Lab closes) I went across to the hospital and got the paperwork for my labs.
When the lab tech came, I let her know "I haven't been exposed to a Venereal Disease, I haven't been expose to sex AT ALL..." She thought it was funny...I just kept thinking of all the people around the hospital that would see it...
She takes out 4 tubes to be filled w my blood....I hate needles...I don't know how I got my tattoos done, and had 2 epidurals...I'm such a baby...I think this was the second time in my life I didn't have anybody to hold my hand while I don't look at the Lab tech drawing blood from me...
She gave me the good news that she was only going to poke me once..but every time she took a tube out and put another one in...I suffered...
After she was done, she left the folder in the bin...I asked if she was going to take it to the front...but "No, tomorrow"...yes, please..let's just delay the process and increase the exposure....
Anyways...next day...I told my department so that, is anyone saw it they knew how virginal I was...
I guess it changed my view...I used to think people getting those were truly.....a mess...And I'm clearly not (aside from mentally)...very humbling...
It's another day, Maria came, so I just saved it...and now I'm laying on my freshly mowed grass...Dory, my manual land mower...has gotten sharpened enough that, paired up w my hulk like strenght, can completely handle this yard in less than an hour...and leave time and energy to lay on it, enjoy it, listen to Sugarland and write....American dream, right???
OK friends...Thanks for reading about my extraordinarily ordinary life
Have a great weekend!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
A dad for my children...No, thanks
Guy I met at the bar asked me what I was doing on the weekend and, after I responded I didn't know ans what did he have in mind, never answer back...
My theory is that he saw I had children and I thought he'd have to become a daddy overnight...Neither I want him to be the father of my children (they already have one, crappy, but there) nor I want to have a relationship w him...I met him at a bar...
I've started thinking this booty call thing is not going to happen...and re changing my mind set...Only due to my very little experience, I think the more you know the person the more you can let go, ask for what you want, feel comfortable about giving them what they want and, therefore, the better the sex is...so maybe I shall wait...I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter...I just make it sound like it...
Another thing, my therapist discharged me...She's tried it a few times...And I didn't think it'd be a good time because school will be added to my things to balance picture pretty soon...but she insisted. If she read this blog she'd change her mind...I think maybe all her patients are crazier than me (that's a lot a lot)....Oh well...Is not like I have problems expressing my feelings or acting on the issues i can fix, right??? Let's keep telling myself I'm ok and repeating the serenity prayer...
My soon to be project is drywalling one of the walls of my bedroom, so that I can paint it (is the only unpainted room), and so that I can put trim in the house...I just don't know where all this money will come from...but I'm sure I'll get it done :), just because you find the way of doing the things you really want to...
My grandparents have offered to pay me a trip to Argentina, since they are not coming due to the visa taking too long...I just don't know when I can take the time for that...
Mi niece was born today...I got to see her just for a little bit...what a miracle babies are...It's pretty amazing....I can't even describe it...
My theory is that he saw I had children and I thought he'd have to become a daddy overnight...Neither I want him to be the father of my children (they already have one, crappy, but there) nor I want to have a relationship w him...I met him at a bar...
I've started thinking this booty call thing is not going to happen...and re changing my mind set...Only due to my very little experience, I think the more you know the person the more you can let go, ask for what you want, feel comfortable about giving them what they want and, therefore, the better the sex is...so maybe I shall wait...I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter...I just make it sound like it...
Another thing, my therapist discharged me...She's tried it a few times...And I didn't think it'd be a good time because school will be added to my things to balance picture pretty soon...but she insisted. If she read this blog she'd change her mind...I think maybe all her patients are crazier than me (that's a lot a lot)....Oh well...Is not like I have problems expressing my feelings or acting on the issues i can fix, right??? Let's keep telling myself I'm ok and repeating the serenity prayer...
My soon to be project is drywalling one of the walls of my bedroom, so that I can paint it (is the only unpainted room), and so that I can put trim in the house...I just don't know where all this money will come from...but I'm sure I'll get it done :), just because you find the way of doing the things you really want to...
My grandparents have offered to pay me a trip to Argentina, since they are not coming due to the visa taking too long...I just don't know when I can take the time for that...
Mi niece was born today...I got to see her just for a little bit...what a miracle babies are...It's pretty amazing....I can't even describe it...
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